There's not a lot of good that happens at 2.30 in the morning in a pub or a nightclub.

Jun 14, 2013 Tweet | Share

How can you have a clash of cultures when you're playing against a country with no culture?

Jun 5, 2013 Tweet | Share

We're not going to let him in. We're going to keep my brother in for the whole 20.

May 2, 2013 Tweet | Share

In eight games if you haven't made a significant contribution you're a bit of a passenger

Apr 30, 2013 Tweet | Share

I'd like to play but, as people keep reminding me, I'm very old.

Mar 19, 2013 Tweet | Share

That's a line-in-the-sand moment.

Mar 11, 2013 Tweet | Share

You are going to laugh at this, but that ball and the ball I bowled Chris Martin at the Gabba. Exactly the same thing, through the gate.

Mar 8, 2013 Tweet | Share

I was hanging my head low, thinking I was run out by Sourav Ganguly.

Mar 3, 2013 Tweet | Share

I want to wish both teams plenty of luck - just a little bit more for the Indians as they need it a bit more than the Australians do.

Feb 20, 2013 Tweet | Share

Close the back cover of the book, move on and find something else to do.

Jan 26, 2013 Tweet | Share

My Mum has got a pretty big mouth when it comes to that sort of stuff so I'm not sure who she would have told

Dec 24, 2012 Tweet | Share

We haven't ruined his last Test match yet, hopefully we do.

Dec 2, 2012 Tweet | Share

This is my new team here.

Nov 29, 2012 Tweet | Share

At one stage I was hoping to bring out a squash ball because that's how well he was seeing it.

Nov 23, 2012 Tweet | Share

I hit more sixes than Bradman

Nov 19, 2012 Tweet | Share

I think Glenn's wasted his 25c there ... how much does a tweet cost, Brett?'

Nov 12, 2012 Tweet | Share

Hopefully I've done the country a favour and bowled Punter into a bit of form. I was thinking about that when I was getting driven for four.

Oct 30, 2012 Tweet | Share

This is the first time I've won Man of the Match without taking a wicket.

Oct 26, 2012 Tweet | Share

Now I find myself coming in after Rahul, a job so huge that India has traditionally left it to Sachin Tendulkar. By that marker, I can really only disappoint.

Oct 24, 2012 Tweet | Share

Not sure the ladies will appreciate their age being put up there.

Oct 5, 2012 Tweet | Share

You don't get many intelligent fast bowlers for starters, particularly at 19.

Sep 29, 2012 Tweet | Share

Good to see you are not here, actually.

Sep 28, 2012 Tweet | Share

If we get through this, Sri Lanka will seem like a holiday resort

Aug 22, 2012 Tweet | Share

When we married I was captain of England, good looking, plenty of money, not a care in the world. Now she is married to a fat old guy, not good looking any more, and no money.

Jul 18, 2012 Tweet | Share

I've had more sequels or comebacks than Rambo

Jul 13, 2012 Tweet | Share

I want to see a bit of mongrel

Jul 9, 2012 Tweet | Share

I actually feel very embarrassed because I rejected him as a fast bowler. I think I did him and the game of cricket a favour

Jun 26, 2012 Tweet | Share

Just had the ultimate insult. A kid just asked if I was Shaun Pollock.

May 3, 2012 Tweet | Share

Well, this will be your last Test.

Apr 27, 2012 Tweet | Share

They click on a link to see the score in the morning and they go '28, oh … Ponting 30, these guys are struggling'.

Apr 26, 2012 Tweet | Share

You've got world-class players who are sitting in England now wanting to play the IPL when you've got some second-rate Australians getting gigs here.

Apr 12, 2012 Tweet | Share

There are people out there digging holes for a living and we're actually playing cricket. So stop whingeing.

Jan 20, 2012 Tweet | Share

I'm not inside Sachin Tendulkar's head. I wish I was sometimes

Jan 11, 2012 Tweet | Share

It's not the first time Michael Clarke has given up chasing Lara

Jan 5, 2012 Tweet | Share

I'll take dog, I've been called worse so dog's a compliment

Jan 5, 2012 Tweet | Share

Peter Siddle's first Test wicket.

Jan 2, 2012 Tweet | Share

Maybe it's a case of two more bricks in the wall to fill that hole

Dec 29, 2011 Tweet | Share

A lot of fuss made over a five dollar bit of cloth.

Dec 26, 2011 Tweet | Share

Ed's a great fella and obviously a very good author. But I won't be reading his book.

Dec 24, 2011 Tweet | Share

I'll probably give him a cuddle and a kiss goodnight ... [Tampering with his alarm] would be tampering with my own alarm, we are literally sleeping 30cm apart from each other.

Dec 18, 2011 Tweet | Share