Sri Lanka in India 2009 December 3, 2009

Crimes against bowling humanity

 
84


Charged as guilty: Virender Sehwag© Associated Press
 

Virender Sehwag, not for the first time in his extravagant career, stands on the cusp of history. To break Brian Lara’s Test innings record, the Delhi Devastator needs another 117 runs – equating to approximately 23 minutes’ batting at his standard scoring rate.

I speculated in my first World Cricket Podcast exactly what bowlers must feel when attempting to combat Sehwag on a good batting pitch. Suffice it to say that if this innings continues long into day three, the International Court of Human Rights may become involved, and the phenomenal Indian opener may find himself charged with crimes against bowling humanity.

For all the splendour Sehwag has once again given to the cricket-watching world, all record of this innings must be surreptitiously destroyed. What if impressionable young bowlers were to stumble upon evidence of the kind of abuse they may endure? What right-thinking parent would want their precious little baby bowler to grow up in such a heartless universe? Even bowling machines might refuse to bowl.

How cricket has changed. As a schoolboy, I was an opening batsman. Not a good opening batsman but an opening batsman nonetheless. And, more importantly, an excruciatingly tedious one. I viewed it as my specific responsibility not to score runs, and to not score them over as long a period as possible.

Steve Waugh used to talk of the “mental disintegration” of opponents. My approach to this task was to block full-tosses, leave wide half-volleys and pad up to long-hops until the opposition bowlers and fielders were on the verge of either tears or retirement. Sehwag embodies everything I could not even have imagined being possible as an opener.

In fact, cricketing orthodoxy at the time was such that a boy was expelled from my school for scoring a run-a-ball 50, bringing disgrace to the school’s proud cricketing tradition with his morally wanton strokeplay. That story is not true, but it might as well have been, so it’s staying in the blog. No arguments.

Sehwag may well break Lara’s record, but Angelo Mathews has already claimed his place in the record books, with the narrowest failure to score a century in Test history. Mathews was run out by approximately half a millimetre, after an agonising delay as the third umpire subjected the video footage to more intensive scrutiny than any piece of film since the JFK assassination.

Being out for 99 is a strange form of personal sporting failure − you have basically succeeded, but the moment of disappointment is all the greater than if you had in fact properly failed. And being run out for 99 adds a piquant element of avoidable silliness to the failure.

Mike Atherton suffered this partially abominable fate at Lord’s in 1993, when, turning for a seemingly simple third run, he was sent back by Mike Gatting, who had been temporarily transfixed by a supernatural vision of the world’s largest banoffee pie. Atherton slipped, Ian Healy Australianly whipped the bails off, and Gatting licked his lips, mumbling, “I have seen the future. And it’s covered in toffee and bananas.”

Steve Waugh became an associate member of the Missing Out On A Test Century Due To Between-The-Wickets Incompetence in spectacular fashion, in the Perth Ashes Test of 1994-95. Twin brother Mark was acting as runner for Craig McDermott, went for an imbecilic single, ran himself/McDermott out, and left Steve one run short of another scrawling on another honours board. What were the brothers thinking to each other as they trudged off? The official Confectionery Stall guess is as follows:

Mark: “That’ll teach you to make your Test debut four years before me.”
Steve: “Looks like I’ll be forgetting your birthday this year. I don’t care how easy it should be for me to remember it.”
Mark: “You’ve got to admit, it was objectively the funniest run-out in cricket history.”
Steve: “I’m going to tell Mum. You’re in trouble. I want my teddy.”

Mathews’ dismissal was the 67th time a batsman has been out for 99 in Test cricket, and the 14th time one has missed out on three-figure glory by virtue of being run out. Fourteen out of 67 – this is an extraordinary ratio, which illustrated the madness that can envelop the human soul when the tastily steaming baguette of personal triumph is within nibbling distance. Also, 20.9% of batsmen out for 99 have been run out – yet of the 59,237 Test dismissals that had occurred as of 5pm GMT on December 3, 2009, only 3.5% have been run-outs.

Batsmen on 99 are thus six times more likely to run themselves out (or, perhaps, have a sadistic team-mate run them out), than batsmen who aren’t already mentally picturing charging around with their arms in the air, kissing their helmets, waving their bats at any available camera, and cuddling the non-striking batsman.

There are statistics and there are statistics. And this statistic reveals the inherent nature of the human condition, and the potentially fatal pitfalls of personal ambition, as much as any play by Shakespeare. Arguably. Expect it to be on all school curriculums around the cricket-speaking world within months.

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • shrey on December 13, 2009, 20:45 GMT

    funny and truth.....

  • Kash on December 13, 2009, 4:27 GMT

    Hillarious ! good job n very interesting. I was very busy i generally dont read much but this article made me read by keeping my work aside. Bowling machines would also refuse to bowl ! hahaaaa this is creativity to the core

  • andy on December 11, 2009, 13:47 GMT

    crap article! as usual indian fans have no idea about cricket.. aussies going through rebuilding stage but are still better than india! what a joke that they are number one side? cant win away from home.. use to hear when aust hadnt one in india that they couldnt be true number one but once india get there well well well its a different story

  • amit majumder on December 11, 2009, 9:49 GMT

    hello sehwag, i like your batting style very much.the way you hit the ball so beautifuly and so hardly thats why i like you.i am a cricketer too.so i try to follow your batting method.

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:33 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:32 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:32 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Varun on December 8, 2009, 6:07 GMT

    'Even bowling machines might refuse to bowl'

    That's funny. Nice article.

  • Anand Gadhavi on December 7, 2009, 12:12 GMT

    @Geoff,

    For your kind information Sehwag has scored 151 of 234 balls and 195 of 233 balls against a good aussie attack at Adelaide and Melbourne...has scored two centuries in ODI's against kiwis on vicious tracks.... Check his records first and than come and write somethin here...

  • pickdj on December 7, 2009, 5:54 GMT

    "I want my teddy!!" Hilarious.My morning coffee nearly came out the wrong way :)welcome back andy

  • shrey on December 13, 2009, 20:45 GMT

    funny and truth.....

  • Kash on December 13, 2009, 4:27 GMT

    Hillarious ! good job n very interesting. I was very busy i generally dont read much but this article made me read by keeping my work aside. Bowling machines would also refuse to bowl ! hahaaaa this is creativity to the core

  • andy on December 11, 2009, 13:47 GMT

    crap article! as usual indian fans have no idea about cricket.. aussies going through rebuilding stage but are still better than india! what a joke that they are number one side? cant win away from home.. use to hear when aust hadnt one in india that they couldnt be true number one but once india get there well well well its a different story

  • amit majumder on December 11, 2009, 9:49 GMT

    hello sehwag, i like your batting style very much.the way you hit the ball so beautifuly and so hardly thats why i like you.i am a cricketer too.so i try to follow your batting method.

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:33 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:32 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Sanchit on December 10, 2009, 9:32 GMT

    Good one..... But should be your last one... go and try something in stats

  • Varun on December 8, 2009, 6:07 GMT

    'Even bowling machines might refuse to bowl'

    That's funny. Nice article.

  • Anand Gadhavi on December 7, 2009, 12:12 GMT

    @Geoff,

    For your kind information Sehwag has scored 151 of 234 balls and 195 of 233 balls against a good aussie attack at Adelaide and Melbourne...has scored two centuries in ODI's against kiwis on vicious tracks.... Check his records first and than come and write somethin here...

  • pickdj on December 7, 2009, 5:54 GMT

    "I want my teddy!!" Hilarious.My morning coffee nearly came out the wrong way :)welcome back andy

  • Sanjex on December 6, 2009, 17:34 GMT

    G8 article.... Specially thd satires!

  • Sri Divi on December 6, 2009, 10:36 GMT

    Hey Andy!! Ur article is simpy awesomest one i have ever seen.. waiting for more of them.......... :P

    Reading was never so much fun that tooo in this cricket blog .....

    Seems like you have meddled with their past, present and future of cricketers here... but it was a real gooood article.

  • Geoff Fosberry on December 6, 2009, 6:58 GMT

    Nice Article, quite refereshing!!! but would we be blowing this out of proportion if the game was played on fast and bouncy tracks such as in Australia ? all indian cricketers are tigers in their own backyards, with an exception to SRT !

  • Ramesh on December 5, 2009, 13:21 GMT

    I'm a fan of viru. i was obviously disappointed when he missed out 300 but i'm very confident that he'll score atleast a couple more 300's in his career. good article mate.

  • Anonymous on December 5, 2009, 12:46 GMT

    Awesome Andy

  • Shahid on December 5, 2009, 12:24 GMT

    You are not funny at all and.. I don't count Sehwag for a batsman.

  • achintya on December 5, 2009, 12:03 GMT

    the innings was so well crafted and a treat to everybody. Thanx Viru:)

  • Pritesh on December 5, 2009, 11:50 GMT

    One of the best article I have ever read on Cricinfo..Keep it up

    Pritesh Washington DC

  • bvdr on December 5, 2009, 11:48 GMT

    Read a lot on Net but this stands out. Truly amazing. Funny presentation that will serve as a tonic for even people in depression. Good.....Very Good...

  • Rome on December 5, 2009, 3:17 GMT

    Lara's record still stands my friend. Heard the proverb" Don't count your chickens before they're hatched". You and Sanjay were almost predicting such but Sehway did not have the fortitude this time. I like your style of writing and your facts and love your articles. I would have given this one an A plus but for the opening paragraph. Thanks and keep up the good work!!

  • Arvind on December 5, 2009, 3:15 GMT

    Nice article, Andy. Andy's career as an opening batsman? That was very funny. "Not a good opening batsman, but an opening batsman nonetheless." Steve Waugh would be highly embarrased when he hears about your version of "mental disintegration".:D

    You forgot to touch upon one thing, however. Sehwag understands the perils of 99, so he often skips that dangerous number, and goes straight from 94 to 100 (or 95 to 101, etc...)

  • Steve Waugh on December 4, 2009, 23:15 GMT

    This is a really bad article

  • Sriram Iyer on December 4, 2009, 22:03 GMT

    Mr Zaltzman I have never laughed so hard reading an article about cricket. What a great sense of humor you have.

    The imaginary conversation between the Waugh brothers was the highlight.

    Please keep writing.

  • Ahsan on December 4, 2009, 21:09 GMT

    just awesome! keep em coming.

  • Abhishek on December 4, 2009, 20:55 GMT

    Good work Andy!!!

    As it was night in U.S, so could not watch the entire Sehwag innings. But, whatever I could watch was breath-taking. He never fails to entertain. He is a class act and this was a hilarious article.

    Cheers!!!

  • mukund kedia on December 4, 2009, 20:13 GMT

    humourously sarcastic !!!

  • mijanul akbar on December 4, 2009, 17:54 GMT

    Congrats shewag for a brilliant knock.

    As for the article: First you change the rules, then you suger coat the stat and finally you take a dig at the bowlers. That is where test cricket now stands. Just reversing ONE rule, bringing back no count bouncers per over, we will see where the Bowling humanity stands. Heck make the pitches a sporting a little. Trigger happy players will perish like moths running in to fire. We will find out who is over-rated and has flawed technique. Parnel, Aamer, Southe, Board heck even Rubel, Jarvis will terrorize the soft batsmen.

  • Ben on December 4, 2009, 17:03 GMT

    wasnt really funny to be honest. good on statistics, but i didnt find it nearly as funny as everyone else here seems to think. maybe because im an aussie i cant really appreciate the dry british humour here

  • Abu on December 4, 2009, 14:59 GMT

    One of the best hilarious article.

  • Rahul on December 4, 2009, 14:46 GMT

    Knowledgeable yet funny. Nice work. Stay away from Gatting.

  • satish on December 4, 2009, 13:52 GMT

    awesome article.. you rocked it Andy !.

  • alagappan on December 4, 2009, 13:21 GMT

    'human rights commission'-that was superb mate...amazing...would have been more interesting with relatively less no of facts.....

  • Mayur N on December 4, 2009, 13:10 GMT

    "cuddling the non-striking batsman"... ROFL!! Now we know why Sehwag was doing the 50-run dash from one milestone to another - Rahul Dravid! :-D And the stats on run-outs at 99 were fascinating. Fact and wit woven together into a thoroughly entertaining piece. Take a bow Andy!

  • Karthik on December 4, 2009, 12:59 GMT

    Not just from bowler;s perspective, the game appears to have slowed down extremely upon his dismissal when batsmen even continue to score at more than 4 an over.

  • Karthik on December 4, 2009, 12:55 GMT

    Not just from bowler;s perspective, the game appears to have slowed down extremely upon his dismissal when batsmen even continue to score at more than 4 an over.

  • Jayesh on December 4, 2009, 12:51 GMT

    We have not yet seen the various incarnations of God. There r so many things possible with the bat only he can show.

  • Sami Khan on December 4, 2009, 11:38 GMT

    I must read your articles more often. You are sort of like a heavily refined Russel Peters in print, no offense intended. Enjoyed it thoroughly, especially the probable involvement of the ICHR bit.

  • vinay on December 4, 2009, 11:10 GMT

    This is truly an amazingly hilarious article! One of the best pieces of satire for me :) thanks a lot for that :)

  • Sri lankan on December 4, 2009, 10:48 GMT

    This Test match is not fare game. Lots of errors from umpairs. Even India wins this match it whould not be good for game

  • Sri lankan on December 4, 2009, 10:48 GMT

    This Test match is not fare game. Lots of errors from umpairs. Even India wins this match it whould not be good for game

  • Rohan on December 4, 2009, 10:15 GMT

    Andy, I am a huge fan of your tidbits on Cricinfo. This is the funniest description of the happenings in third India Vs SL test. Sehwag may as well be tried in and bowlers all around the world would hate him to no limit.

    Keep writing ;) Cheers.

  • kiran on December 4, 2009, 10:05 GMT

    Awesome article!!! I enjoyed it mate!!

  • critek on December 4, 2009, 9:52 GMT

    Interesting statistics on number of runouts. Would the 3.5% of runouts otherwise would change, if you remove scores under 5. Chances are people who score less than are not likely to be runout ?

  • adrian on December 4, 2009, 9:44 GMT

    Mmm! Banoffee Pie! (yum)

  • Martin Vengadesan on December 4, 2009, 9:40 GMT

    You are a fantastic writer ... with new classic lines ... Gatting's pies, the squabbling Waughs and this one:

    Batsmen on 99 are thus six times more likely to run themselves out (or, perhaps, have a sadistic team-mate run them out), than batsmen who aren’t already mentally picturing charging around with their arms in the air, kissing their helmets, waving their bats at any available camera, and cuddling the non-striking batsman.

  • avin on December 4, 2009, 9:40 GMT

    Witty as it can get,it was a nice read. Sehwag being charged by the international court of human rights is really hilarious imagination and to top it all the fanciful conversation of the waugh brothers is rib tickling.I thoroughly enjoyed it :)

  • Pradeep on December 4, 2009, 9:36 GMT

    Hilarious as always Andy!

  • blessen on December 4, 2009, 9:31 GMT

    this is such a nice article....very true..sehwag is very unique...

  • Ariz Khan on December 4, 2009, 9:09 GMT

    Hey Andy,

    There is one mistake. The number of times batsmen dismissed on 99 is 74. Which also brings down other % and ratios to 18.9 and 5.4, still higher.

    Just as I am writing this there was one test between england and pakistan in 1973 where 3 players were dismissed on 99. Angelo was out on 99 before scoring his maiden hundred (really agonizing), it would be interesting see how many before him have suffered this fate!

    Best

    Ariz

  • fortheloveofcricketbaby on December 4, 2009, 9:05 GMT

    Hahahahaha- that was for yesterday's podcast

    Hahahahaha- for the run out stats.

    good going Andy

  • Karthik on December 4, 2009, 9:03 GMT

    Hilarious!! Loved the Gatting story. Nice one Andy!!

  • Rahul J on December 4, 2009, 8:58 GMT

    thanks a ton for starting the world cricket podcast... thanks andy. have been wanting it for so long...

  • Donald on December 4, 2009, 8:47 GMT

    I found this edition of 'The Confectionery Stall' to be even more amusing and enjoyable than usual. I liked how it did not rely heavily on statistics as previous editions have - though there was a bit towards the end.

  • Russel Kothari on December 4, 2009, 8:36 GMT

    Hey Andy... Just heard your podcast, and this is also your first article I've read, and thoroughly enjoyed both. Keep the whimsiness going... I guess Sehwag did by getting out in the 290s!

  • Wajid Khan on December 4, 2009, 8:29 GMT

    Yo Andy :)

    You ROCK!

  • Srivenu Paturi on December 4, 2009, 8:17 GMT

    Hilarious, just hilarious... almost got chocked laughing....! How on earth do u get these crazy ideas. You should donate your brain for a research institute... and it may end up along side of that of Einstein's.

  • Anand on December 4, 2009, 7:53 GMT

    Hilarious! well written, much needed dose of relevant humor amidst murder-by-stats. although some astounding observations about propensity of batsmen to be run-out on 99. Thank you, enjoyed it!

  • Pankaj Kasana on December 4, 2009, 7:36 GMT

    How can you be so amazingly funny man!!! I'll have to learn this art(???)to get a girlfriend..:P Awesome article, more appetite for your next..

  • Om Parkash Arora on December 4, 2009, 7:28 GMT

    Well done Sehwag. Your this inning is a rememberable inning. You are a genuise of Indian Cricket.

  • vadivel on December 4, 2009, 7:16 GMT

    hey mate u make the great things very simple and funny

  • David on December 4, 2009, 7:10 GMT

    When Shewag was out in the 290's, Statsguru put up a search revealing the 4 players out in the 290\s. One of them (M Crowe) was out for 299. A further search reveals that a 5th player ended the innings on 299; Don Bradman was not out for 299 - and the 10th man was runout, leavng him just short of (another) triple hundred!

  • Rohit Kumar on December 4, 2009, 7:10 GMT

    Hillarious bt at d same time informative as well.....especially d one stating no of dismissals in test cricket till date &percentage of run-outs as well.....Gr8 to read due to entertainment content involved...Hopefully u ll come out with many more like this!!!!!!!!Kudos

  • deepa on December 4, 2009, 7:02 GMT

    Nice article, andy. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

  • Bagapath on December 4, 2009, 7:01 GMT

    hilarious... loved it... keep them coming andy....

  • Lear on December 4, 2009, 6:59 GMT

    Oh man. Remind me never to read your blog when stoned. My laughing is starting to concern those around me.

  • Elayaraja Muthuswamy on December 4, 2009, 6:50 GMT

    Very Funny!!

  • Anonymous on December 4, 2009, 6:24 GMT

    andy at his witty best, wonderful

  • Abhayan on December 4, 2009, 6:22 GMT

    Wow. This is a great addition to Cricinfo. Loved this piece of whimsy satire.

  • VAIBHAV on December 4, 2009, 6:21 GMT

    Very funny and at the same time realistic column.

  • Bilal Ahmed on December 4, 2009, 6:12 GMT

    Great piece! I literally laughed at the writer's description of his own "opening" days, "until the opposition bowlers and fielders were on the verge of either tears or RETIREMENT"! Hahaha! That is hillarious!!

    I marvel at the thought that has gone into this article, which even while maintaining its humour, sheds ample light on the batting genius of Sehwag. For Srilankan readers though it might be adding Zaltz to their injuries!

    "Even bowling machines might refuse to bowl"!! Yes, that was the kind of batting we saw from Viru yesterday...and it would have been great to see him get to 300. Nevertheless...knowing Viru, he'll be the least perturbed about it, cos for him every innings is an opportunity to do that!

    For the last 20 years I kept wondering what it would be like to be able to bat like Sachin. Throughout yesterday i kept wishing i had the talent to bat like Viru. And for the last 12-15 minutes now...I have been wishing I had the talent to write like Mr. Andy Zaltzman!

  • rupesh on December 4, 2009, 5:32 GMT

    Just got up and going thru cricinfo ...went thru this article ..and the tone for the day is set...thx

  • Amit Shah on December 4, 2009, 5:25 GMT

    Such articles from Authors like yourself, Harsh Bhogle, S Aga, Sambit Bal and so many others ensure that the richness of this game is conveyed so beautifully to fans like us. Just wanted to thank all of you for thinking just like we would want someone to, writing how we simply can't and creating an unexplainable sense of happiness about this great game.

  • Mohsin on December 4, 2009, 5:11 GMT

    Sehwag is a genius, we should savor watching him play. He is the greatest opener in world cricket since Gavaskar. I say that as a Pakistan/England fan, so have suffered emotionally owing to him, but must be objective.

    Overall, hilarious stuff Alan. Really nice read at 5am. :-)

  • Imad on December 4, 2009, 5:08 GMT

    Well done Andy...finally a funny article after a long hiatus. Loved it.

  • rahul on December 4, 2009, 4:53 GMT

    haha....extremely funny. keep it up.

  • Suraj john on December 4, 2009, 4:44 GMT

    Andy at his best. One of the funniest articles I have read in recent times. Hilarious.Sorry Andy, Sehwag missed out.

  • anti-sehwag on December 4, 2009, 4:19 GMT

    There should be ICC meeting to set rules when Mr. Sehwag is to bat. Either allow bowlers to bowl at him 16 yards or have Shewag tie one hand behind his back before comming to crease. It is unfair to any bowler to be treated with such brutality. Let alone someone of Murali's caliber. Sublime form of this nature can only be attributed to supreme talent. This is mark of self-confidence that a player has when in purple patch. Although Sehwag seems to be in this mode for a very long time and is getting better at it as time goes by. Wait! That only happens with Wines!

  • Vikum Rodrigo on December 4, 2009, 4:12 GMT

    I agree with Mr. Zaltman on this matter, there should be a treaty which states that a batsman cannot score more than 100 runs with a strike rate of more than 100.. Also if the batsman has known the bowler for more than a decade, they cannot score more than 1 boundary in an over in test cricket, as courtesy of their friendship.. what Shewag did to Murali was inhumane and cruel.. Shewag should be banned from test cricket if he continues to treat bowlers the way he does.. I like Chris Gayle's approach, he will score a quick 30 or 40 and give his wicket as an appreciation to all the loose balls bowled at him..

  • V Manjunath on December 4, 2009, 4:07 GMT

    The piece on Mark n Steve Waugh is just hilarious man:) Loved it.Terrific piece of writing.keep it up man

  • Cricket Humour Lover on December 4, 2009, 4:06 GMT

    Andy, You made me LOL full day y'day. It is funny and quite interesting article. I rate this article funnier than Andrews. Please keep writing and make me LOL..

  • Rahul Pathak on December 4, 2009, 3:57 GMT

    WOW ! :)

  • MaG on December 4, 2009, 3:53 GMT

    Its a great article..I thoroughly enjoyed the article like I enjoyed the monster's batting :)

  • Junior on December 4, 2009, 3:52 GMT

    One funny article Andy..and soooo true too

  • Sumesh on December 4, 2009, 3:51 GMT

    This is one of the best reads I have come across, funny yet genuinely insightful. Great work.

    P.S. the biography => LOL

  • No featured comments at the moment.

  • Sumesh on December 4, 2009, 3:51 GMT

    This is one of the best reads I have come across, funny yet genuinely insightful. Great work.

    P.S. the biography => LOL

  • Junior on December 4, 2009, 3:52 GMT

    One funny article Andy..and soooo true too

  • MaG on December 4, 2009, 3:53 GMT

    Its a great article..I thoroughly enjoyed the article like I enjoyed the monster's batting :)

  • Rahul Pathak on December 4, 2009, 3:57 GMT

    WOW ! :)

  • Cricket Humour Lover on December 4, 2009, 4:06 GMT

    Andy, You made me LOL full day y'day. It is funny and quite interesting article. I rate this article funnier than Andrews. Please keep writing and make me LOL..

  • V Manjunath on December 4, 2009, 4:07 GMT

    The piece on Mark n Steve Waugh is just hilarious man:) Loved it.Terrific piece of writing.keep it up man

  • Vikum Rodrigo on December 4, 2009, 4:12 GMT

    I agree with Mr. Zaltman on this matter, there should be a treaty which states that a batsman cannot score more than 100 runs with a strike rate of more than 100.. Also if the batsman has known the bowler for more than a decade, they cannot score more than 1 boundary in an over in test cricket, as courtesy of their friendship.. what Shewag did to Murali was inhumane and cruel.. Shewag should be banned from test cricket if he continues to treat bowlers the way he does.. I like Chris Gayle's approach, he will score a quick 30 or 40 and give his wicket as an appreciation to all the loose balls bowled at him..

  • anti-sehwag on December 4, 2009, 4:19 GMT

    There should be ICC meeting to set rules when Mr. Sehwag is to bat. Either allow bowlers to bowl at him 16 yards or have Shewag tie one hand behind his back before comming to crease. It is unfair to any bowler to be treated with such brutality. Let alone someone of Murali's caliber. Sublime form of this nature can only be attributed to supreme talent. This is mark of self-confidence that a player has when in purple patch. Although Sehwag seems to be in this mode for a very long time and is getting better at it as time goes by. Wait! That only happens with Wines!

  • Suraj john on December 4, 2009, 4:44 GMT

    Andy at his best. One of the funniest articles I have read in recent times. Hilarious.Sorry Andy, Sehwag missed out.

  • rahul on December 4, 2009, 4:53 GMT

    haha....extremely funny. keep it up.