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It's still the Ashes. You might have noticed. We've been monitoring the players' Twitter feeds so that you don't have to endure their "banter". You're welcome.
This week's round-up features a whole two types of food that cannot be purchased at a well-known Portuguese-themed chicken outlet. It's a new record.
Not all Aussie cricketers have secured a win recently.
Disappointed about poker, but just had a swim in the 33 degree heat & treating myself to a large Hawaiian pizza for dinner,so feeling better— Shane Warne (@warne888) November 30, 2013
Yes, it's important to maintain an appropriate diet as a sportsman.
7 Weet-Bix and milk before a days cricket! Brings back memories #raisedonweetbix #Ashes— Brett Lee (@BrettLee_58) November 22, 2013
That'll require a lot of milk. Apparently, milk makes you strong.
English players will be drinking concrete milkshakes in Darwin so they can toughen up.— Rodney Hogg (@RMHogg) November 26, 2013
But what food makes you accurate?
Had my first bowl back today in the nets. At least half of them landed on the pitch.— Pat Cummins (@93Cummins) November 24, 2013
These are stormy times for England.
A thunderstorm hits signalling the arrival of my mum and dad in Adelaide. How very Biblical— Graeme Swann (@Swannyg66) December 2, 2013
But there are plenty of people volunteering to help out.
I'll bat at 3 if no one else wants to, I might be bruised by the end of it but I'd at least get the ball soft #ashes— Paul Collingwood (@Colly622) December 3, 2013
Other former England players are less confident that they could contribute.
It does seem you are a better player once retired , flattered by the calls for my come back . Just a reminder 5-0 ! #inmyday— fred flintoff (@flintoff11) November 24, 2013
But if he has nothing to offer physically, at least he can share his knowledge.
Slugs have 4 noses ! Good night x— fred flintoff (@flintoff11) December 3, 2013
Chris Gayle: role model.
Don't smoke Cigarettes, there are cooler ways to die.— Chris Gayle (@henrygayle) December 1, 2013
Chris Gayle: role model.
Anyone - have u ever accidentally splash your self when washing a spoon? #PissMeOff— Chris Gayle (@henrygayle) December 1, 2013
It's a hard life.
Life with Kemar Roach
If there's one thing Kemar Roach is good at, it's delivering an opaque, context-free exclamation which sounds somehow positive despite a complete lack of meaningful detail.
Upper Echelon!— Kemar Roach (@KemarAJR) November 25, 2013
What's your philosophy?
Dont count the days, make the days count!— Kraigg Brathwaite (@K_Brathwaite) December 2, 2013
Oh for a bit of negativity in this feature.
Somewhere in the world, there is always a professional cricketer complaining about jet lag. Nando's-loving Alex Hales finds himself in the wrong regular feature this week.
Jet lagged wandering the streets of Adelaide on my Todd.. What can I do?!— Alex Hales (@AlexHales1) December 2, 2013
What can he do? What can he possibly, possibly do? England's Test squad are there. What are they doing?
They're making the most of Adelaide - that's what they're doing.
Nandos demolished! Now time for breaking bad #adelaide #ashes— michael carberry (@carbs646) December 4, 2013
Adelaide's no Alice Springs, that's for certain.
Not everyone's cup of tea but enjoying the tractor & cattle price adverts on tv in Alice Springs! #greatidea— Boyd Rankin (@boydrankin) December 4, 2013
Alex Bowden blogs at King CricketFeeds: Alex Bowden
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