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Andrew Miller: A day that started promisingly for England but then degenerated. David Lloyd, 231 all out really isn't good enough?
David Lloyd: Well, an abject performance, it really was. Michael Vaughan at the toss, you could see lots of glee, 'yes we will have a bat'. And everybody in the country would be saying when. They batted dreadfully today. No application, no skill, a couple of fifties, 76 for [Alaistair] Cook and 50 for Ian Bell. But my word, the rest of it, on a pitch that both captains said that it's a good pitch, groundsman said pace 6 out of 10, very placid; nothing really to shout home about the bowling, it was just a good steady performance by South Africa, but England were bundled out.
AM: It was triggered off by a slightly bizarre dismissal of Andrew Strauss - hoping back into his crease - you don't really see too many hit wickets in Test cricket?
DL: No, and he doesn't usually get that far back and he didn't slip either. He just went back with his back foot and disturbed the middle stump. It went back six or seven inches and off you go. But, with 68 on board it just showed you that it's an easy pitch and you've just got to be a little bit careful on the drive. I just think the aftermath of this will be the manner of the performance. Sometimes you can play poorly but this was something else.
AM: Well, two men in particularly are going to be under scrutiny after this performance, Michael Vaughan (with a first-ball duck) and Paul Collingwood who was controversially brought back into the side but he didn't really look good for his four today.
DL: I just don't see how you can bring a player back into the team who is patently out of form and try and get him back into form in a Test match. I just know that, the emails that are coming into the commentary studio, and there are thousands of emails saying that this smacks of a chummy little club. It is a pleasant little outing for a bunch of 12. I think it's a real own goal, particularly Michael Vaughan to say that Paul Collingwood is good in the dressing room. I think that is absolutely nonsense - he fits in well; he is a good chap - that has nothing to do with it. I would think that Paul Collingwood would want to get back into county cricket to find his feet and find some form.
This is an international cricket match; you don't come into these matches woefully out of touch and out of nick and expect to just get back into it. You earn a place in a Test match side on merit and being on top of your game and clearly he isn't.
AM: And what about the captain, did he nick it, does it matter really, he got a duck.
DL: The snicko would say that there is little bit of something there. But the wicketkeeper Mark Boucher, who is never shy of a appeal, he is a real street fighter of a wicketkeeper, he didn't throw the ball up as he usually does and there was no appeal from him. But there is something on snicko and his bat is away from his pad. Michael Vaughan very clearly gave the indication that he didn't hit it, but it's a very tentative shot that he played at a delivery that you would know is coming - everybody in the country would know that it's going to be full, it's going to be straight, round about off stump and he will have a little nibble at it which he did.
AM: The man who set it up for South Africa was Andre Nel, or Gunther as he is better known these days. He really made a difference to South Africa's attack today.
DL: Yes, Dale Steyn not playing this game because of injury so Nel comes in. But he is a seasoned professional this guy and he is probably the captain's dream I would think. He looks and believes that he can make something happen, and he is constantly at the batsmen in his mind and wanting the batsmen to play him and not the delivery. England walked away and did not get involved with him. Nevertheless, he bowled well, he bowled good spells and he bowled at either end, he picked up wickets and so they look to have a good replacement for Steyn.
AM: It all degenerated really in that final over for England - with [Andrew] Flintoff hitting a six and a four and then two run outs. Have you seen anything quite so village in international cricket?
DL: Well, you know that's a good word, village. It's shambolic and it summed up the innings, 231 is not nearly good enough. The last over was comical and farcical. It's been an awful performance.
AM: Is there any way back for them in this sort of situation?
DL: Well, I wouldn't have thought so because it's a good pitch. There is a little bit of swing out there and they will have to make sure that they make South Africa struggle against the new ball and swing. But after that we have seen Paul Harris bowl, and he didn't turn the ball.
Monty Panesar, all the talk before the innings was pile the runs on in the first innings as this pitch will turn at the back end. Well, it looks as if England are going to be on the receiving end of the back end.
AM: Well, there you have it. England have had a dreadful day at the office. You've been listening to Cricinfo Talk.
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