Andrew Flintoff limerick competition

Flintoff, splint-off, not a toff

Will Luke

July 31, 2009

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Andrew Flintoff, arms outstretched, celebrates one of his five wickets on his final appearance in a Lord's Test, England v Australia, 2nd Test, Lord's, 5th day, July 20, 2009
Never before has a cricketer generated so many limericks... © PA Photos
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The extended rain delay on the first day at Edgbaston gave us, and you, a chance for a bit of fun: a limerick competition, starting with the line: There once was a man named Flintoff. Hundreds of entries came in, and here are the best of the bunch. Congratulations to Steve Fox, who wins a copy of Patrick Kidd's Best of Enemies

Steve Fox UK

There once was a man named Flintoff,
'Oft injured, he rarely had the splint off,
But ten overs at Lord's,
Went through 'Stralia like swords.
And with five wickets in hand he did sprint off

Steve Hodson Toronto

There once was a man named Flintoff,
Was one of the lads - not a toff.
Always bowled with hostility,
And with no lack of ability,
He was much in the same class as Gough.

John King UK

There once was a man called Flintoff
Whose bouncers damn near took your head off
But with his bad knee
We'll just have to see
If his dancing is better than that Gough

John Catt Australia

There once was a man named Flintoff
Who went into bat with his pads off
Two fours and a six
Then the ball hit his sticks
So his next port of call was the beer trough

Dan Binks UK

There once was a man named Flintoff
England's best allrounder since Both
They both like to sink,
A pint, so you'd think;
Twice before suggesting a drink-off

Glen Australia

There once was a man called Flintoff,
Whose career was a little on/off
Don't retire yet you wimp
Look how you bowled with that limp
Or we might have to resurrect Both

Shaun Gibbs

There once was a man known as Flintoff
Whose captain said "Please take that splint off,
I don't care for your knee
We are seven for three.
And we'll need you to bat in a min't - Hoff"

The Phantom Poet

There once was a man named Flintoff
Did a lap in the rain just to show-off
Round the ground he did go
In a pink pedalo
With two blondes and bottle of Smirnoff

Nick Harrison UK

There once was a man named Flintoff
Whose sledging was too naughty to print off
A choice word or three
Starts with 'f', 's' or 'c'
But that's all I can give you a hint of!

Will Luke is assistant editor of Cricinfo

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Will Luke Assistant editor Will opted against a lifetime of head-bangingly dull administration in the NHS, where he had served for two years. In 2005 came a break at Cricinfo where he slotted right in as a ferociously enthusiastic tea drinker and maker, with a penchant for using "frankly" and "marvellous". He also runs The Corridor, a cricket blog where he can be found ranting and raving about all things - some even involving the sport. He is a great-great nephew of Sir Jack Newman, the former Wellingtonian bowler who took two wickets at 127 apiece for New Zealand.
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England won by 4 wickets (with 60 balls remaining)
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