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When England's Champions Trophy squad pass through customs at Johannesburg on Tuesday and are asked if they have anything to declare, Andrew Strauss would be well within his rights to contend: 'Only a sense of utter hopelessness.'

Simon Wilde in the Sunday Times sums up England's shambolic state of affairs

Sep 20, 2009 Tweet | Share

I'd love to say it was the hours of practice I'd put in, but I always miss them in training.

Andrew Flintoff admits there was a bit of luck involved in his run-out of Ricky Ponting at The Oval Test

Sep 19, 2009 Tweet | Share

Well if I can get it back after 12 months definitely.

A generous Brett Lee allows the Lord's museum to keep the ball with which he took a five-for as a loan for a year

Sep 13, 2009 Tweet | Share

I woke up the next day still in my whites.

Stuart Broad admits England's celebrations after regaining the Ashes lasted well into the night ... but at least nobody urinated in the garden of 10 Downing Street

Sep 5, 2009 Tweet | Share

He shouldn't have hit me for six, should he? I did that in the World Cup as well ... so maybe that's a message, don't hit me for six.

Dirk Nannes on bowling Scotland batsman Fraser Watts after being struck for six the previous ball

Aug 29, 2009 Tweet | Share

If I had known it was so easy to get this kind of reward, I think I would have practised the fielding a bit more.

Andrew Flintoff on receiving a magnum of champagne for his crucial run-out of Ricky Ponting

Aug 24, 2009 Tweet | Share

We have to call him Sir now otherwise he'd give us a right hook.

Nasser Hussain warns of the perils of addressing Ian Botham without his title

Aug 23, 2009 Tweet | Share

When we were bad we were awful, but when we were good we managed to be just good enough.

England captain Andrew Strauss after regaining the Ashes

Aug 23, 2009 Tweet | Share

I have Cricinfo as the homepage on my computer. I had to change that because whenever I looked there was something popping up over the past week. I tried to stay clear of things that could unsettle me.

Jonathan Trott after scoring a century on debut against Australia in the deciding Ashes Test at The Oval

Aug 22, 2009 Tweet | Share

During this summer, he has touched greatness and been occasionally inspirational; it has been so throughout his career.

Former England captain Michael Atherton doesn't buy into suggestions that Andrew Flintoff is one of the game's greats

Aug 20, 2009 Tweet | Share

I'll keep my thoughts on the England players to myself.

Justin Langer doesn't get drawn into discussing Jonathan Trott in the wake of his leaked dossier

Aug 18, 2009 Tweet | Share

I couldn't do any worse than some of them. I'm not even a year older than Ramprakash so if he is a chance I must be a chance as well.

Stuart Law puts his hand up to save England at The Oval

Aug 14, 2009 Tweet | Share

I couldn't get my England kit out of my bag! The other players were waiting for me on the pitch to do a team photo so I was in a right panic. I woke up in a cold sweat.

A recent nightmare convinces Marcus Trescothick that he doesn't want to be anywhere near The Oval for the fifth Test

Aug 13, 2009 Tweet | Share

Ever since Kevin Pietersen has been running around on the plains of Africa, he would have been wearing out his Achilles tendon.

Matthew Hayden takes the historical view in regard to Pietersen's injury

Aug 12, 2009 Tweet | Share

I haven't been on Twitter yet, so I can't really tell you.

One of Australia's selectors, Merv Hughes, when asked the likely team for The Oval

Aug 9, 2009 Tweet | Share

Alarm bells started ringing at 4.30am for England's Fredless chickens and they didn't stop all day.

The Daily Mirror's Mike Walters' take on a day when a England were jolted by a fire alarm, had Flintoff ruled out of the Test due to injury, and were bowled out for 102

Aug 8, 2009 Tweet | Share

I'll never tire of talking about it and I'm sure my grandkids will get the full story in 30 years' time.

Graeme Swann isn't going to let anyone forget how he bowled Ricky Ponting through the gate with a viciously spinning delivery in the second innings at Edgbaston

Aug 5, 2009 Tweet | Share

I think I had about eight names for the one that went straight.

Shane Warne reveals his bowling tricks were often mind games

Aug 2, 2009 Tweet | Share

It will not be long before batsmen and bowlers are twittering from the crease: 'Freddie bowling fast, ducked another bouncer, LOL.'

Mike Atherton peers into the crystal ball on the day Phillip Hughes announced his axing from the Australian team on Twitter

Jul 31, 2009 Tweet | Share

What a joke. Turn it up. I'd love to play [against Flintoff at Edgbaston], but so would about five million other Australians.

Justin Langer pours water on the rumour of his return to Test cricket

Jul 28, 2009 Tweet | Share

At Lord's, England again has been the uglier team... England's bowlers have sledged more than Australia's.

Journalist Greg Baum proves that Australians can match England blow-for-blow in the whingeing stakes

Jul 21, 2009 Tweet | Share

It's the first round of applause I've had in five days

Ricky Ponting manages a sense of humour despite defeat as the crowd acknowledge him

Jul 20, 2009 Tweet | Share

I got a 'well done' from Philip. He mentioned I'd had a good morning, which was nice

James Anderson reveals he received the royal seal of approval during the Queen's visit to Lord's

Jul 17, 2009 Tweet | Share

I said 'out through that door, mate, through that Long Room there'. He found his way to the nets.

Ricky Ponting gives directions to a dazed Peter Siddle at Lord's, who didn't quite end up where he intended

Jul 15, 2009 Tweet | Share

My body has told me it's time to stop. Since 2005 I've had two years when I've done nothing but rehab from one injury or another.

Andrew Flintoff announces his retirement from Test cricket

Jul 15, 2009 Tweet | Share

They can play whatever way they want to play. We have come to play by the rules and the spirit of the game, and it is up to them to do what they want to do.

Australia's Ricky Ponting shows that he can whinge as well as any Englishman

Jul 13, 2009 Tweet | Share

He looked like a man trying to get a pound coin out from under the fridge.

Comedian Frank Skinner on Kevin Pietersen's horror shot off Nathan Hauritz

Jul 11, 2009 Tweet | Share

No one wants to be a bowler as a kid because it's rubbish, so whenever I do get the chance to bat I go out and play with a smile on my face.

Graeme Swann invokes the playground tradition at the very highest level while scoring 47 against Australia in Cardiff

Jul 10, 2009 Tweet | Share

My prediction is it will be 5-0 to Australia.

One of the most cherished Ashes traditions, Glenn McGrath foretelling a crushing defeat for England

Jul 6, 2009 Tweet | Share

If a three-year-old is bowling me out, it's time to move over.

Michael Vaughan read the retirement signals loud and clear when his son Archie knocked out his off stump in the garden

Jul 1, 2009 Tweet | Share

I thought Ricky [Ponting] was crap when he was first captain in 2004, and nothing much has improved since then. I'm not the only one who thinks that ...everyone at home thinks he's shit at the captaincy.

Former Australia fast bowler Jeff Thomson as forthright as ever

Jun 30, 2009 Tweet | Share

I've had one offer of a job - from Lee Westwood to carry his bag.

Michael Vaughan quips during a press conference to announce his retirement

Jun 30, 2009 Tweet | Share

I was more worried he would hit my nose because it is so big

A relieved Paul Collingwood said after a round with Olympic boxing champion James DeGale

Jun 26, 2009 Tweet | Share

There's no question he and his bowling tactics were inside my mind that series, and I knew I'd hit rock bottom when one night I rolled over in bed to give my wife Mel a kiss goodnight and all I saw was Freddie Bloody Flintoff.

Adam Gilchrist recalls his nightmare of facing Andrew Flintoff in the 2005 Ashes

Jun 24, 2009 Tweet | Share

If those were the circumstances, I wouldn't be nicking it behind in the first place." Adam Gilchrist's response when asked if he would 'walk', with Australia needing few runs to win with one wicket in hand and the Ashes at stake

Jun 23, 2009 Tweet | Share

It's interesting to see each other's balls. Mine's, one side is a little bit rougher than Ben Hilfenhaus.

Mitchell Johnson explains that Australia's bowlers have practiced different methods of shining the Duke balls used in England

Jun 15, 2009 Tweet | Share

Hopefully, he gets all of them in a boot camp and Freddie [Andrew] Flintoff and [Kevin] Pietersen hurt their knees, that would be great.

Shane Warne simply loves the thought of his old mate John Buchanan messing up England's pre-Ashes plans

Jun 12, 2009 Tweet | Share

I also notice Nathan Hauritz is included, so there's no spinners.

David Lloyd doesn't think Australia's slow bowlers will be helping them retain the Ashes

May 21, 2009 Tweet | Share

There is something quite ironic about a German and an Australian making discoveries about what is considered to be such an English game, and in reality that game being a foreign import."

The delightfully-named Dr Heiner Gillmeister, a German academic, rubs it into the English after discovering, along with an Australian researcher, the origins of cricket in northern Europe

Mar 1, 2009 Tweet | Share

The Australians might start banging the drum saying they're going to win next summer, but I don't think so for one moment.

With more than eight months to go, Ian Botham begins the traditional pre-Ashes posturing

Nov 7, 2008 Tweet | Share

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The replacement
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Team united
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No mind games
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The account
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Tour Results
England v Australia at Chester-le-Street - Sep 20, 2009
England won by 4 wickets (with 60 balls remaining)
England v Australia at Nottingham - Sep 17, 2009
Australia won by 111 runs
England v Australia at Nottingham - Sep 15, 2009
Australia won by 4 wickets (with 10 balls remaining)
England v Australia at Lord's - Sep 12, 2009
Australia won by 7 wickets (with 38 balls remaining)
England v Australia at Southampton - Sep 9, 2009
Australia won by 6 wickets (with 9 balls remaining)
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