We're continuing our investigations, and when we find who did it we are stringing them up by his ding-dang-doos and we're chopping them off.
Well done Matthew Hoggard for treating meaningless drivel with the approach it deserves. He was reacting to the "leaked" battle plan for the England bowlers
Dec 29, 2006 |
We never imagined this fat, podgy kid ... would end up as one of the world's best bowlers.
Bill Lawry on Victoria's favourite son, Shane Warne
Dec 27, 2006 |
When me and Lamby were playing we weren't to be seen done up like a couple of pox-doctors' clerks prancing about. No way!
Ian Botham lashes out at cricketers taking part in dance competitions, after Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash were crowned successive champions on Strictly Come Dancing
Dec 26, 2006 |
For a few mad seconds I thought, mates or not, I'm never going to speak to that dickhead again.
Kevin Pietersen on his on-field exchange with Shane Warne
Dec 25, 2006 |
Like our England have Fart of the Day, South Australia have Muff of the Day.
An unusual innovation in women's cricket, as revealed by England's Jenny Gunn
Dec 24, 2006 |
I know the sport is huge here. I follow it myself."
Tennis world No. 1 Roger Federer after playing cricket at a shelter camp for tsunami refugees in Sri Lanka. Federer's mother is South African
Dec 24, 2006 |
I am starting to breathe again after the swell of the last two hours. I'll have a few drinks and a few smokes afterwards, and take it from there."
Shane Warne during his retirement announcement
Dec 23, 2006 |
When I told my children I was retiring, they got a bit disappointed because they didn't think I was going to play backyard cricket with them. They said, 'Can you still play with us?' I said 'I can'.
Shane Warne hasn't given up all forms of cricket, at least
Dec 22, 2006 |
He's not that good. He tends to just start with a four-letter word and then says a load of nonsense.
Mark Taylor on whether Warne is one of the best sledgers ever
Dec 21, 2006 |
We hope the white ball is clearer to see.
Stephen Fleming hopes for better fortunes in the one-dayers for his side, especially against Lasith Malinga, whose round-arm action with the red ball continues to baffle them
Dec 20, 2006 |
From our point of view the people criticising now are the ones who run with the foxes and hunt with the hounds. All we can do is run with the fox.
Duncan Fletcher tries to explain the problems of selection after England's Ashes series loss
Dec 19, 2006 |
Mate, unbelievable. Australia, you bloody beauty! Sensational!
Matthew Hayden tries to put into words what regaining the Ashes means - with limited success
Dec 18, 2006 |
He carried on like a small child whose mother would have smacked him.
Geoff Boycott on Shane Warne's histrionics after an appeal against Kevin Pietersen was (rightly) turned down
Dec 17, 2006 |
They didn't even read it. They are all biased. There is no misappropriation. It is only their misinterpretation.
An angry Jagmohan Dalmiya after he was expelled from the BCCI. A 46-page report he submitted in his defence was not even read before the decision was taken
Dec 16, 2006 |
Jones was pathetic. His mental attitude to Test-match cricket at the moment is shocking. He's just getting out in some ridiculous ways.
Geoff Boycott, no big fan of Geraint Jones, says what many others in England have been thinking in recent days
Dec 15, 2006 |
Get me out of here as soon as you can.
A sotto voce Andrew Flintoff is caught on tape talking to the ECB Media officer Andrew Walpole, ahead of the captain's pre-match press conference at the WACA
Dec 13, 2006 |
I am not Shane Warne or Muttiah Muralitharan, but what I can promise is that I will try my very best for England.
Monty Panesar looks to play down media expectations ahead of the Perth Test
Dec 11, 2006 |
My best assessment would be, 'What a joke!' I signed up for 'priority' ticketing and have nothing. The whole Australian Cricket Family exercise has been useless.
Fan Grant Hutchinson highlights problems with Cricket Australia's sale of tickets for the Ashes
Nov 2, 2006 |
You can't bring it back ... it's gone. I'll just spend the next 20 years worrying about it.
Ashley Giles won't be forgetting his spilled chance off Ricky Ponting in a hurry
Nov 1, 2006 |
Shane Warne sounds like he is constipated.
Dean du Plessis, a blind commentator in Zimbabwe, explains how he knows when Warne is bowling
Oct 31, 2006 |
I got my teeth cleaned because as you know I have a beautiful smile and I have to look after my teeth.
Chris Gayle states the beaming obvious
Oct 30, 2006 |
I was wearing a very boring suit and looked every inch the bean-counter I am. It is not as if I was unshaven and looked dangerous.
The no-fun police confiscate a cricket ball from Tube passenger Chris Hurd, a 28-year-old City accountant
Oct 29, 2006 |
I just close my eyes and wang it down.
The secrets of Matthew Hoggard's success
Oct 28, 2006 |
He is very polite, extremely enthusiastic and tells me that he is a particular fan of mine since he lives in my part of the world. He comes from Kent. He thinks I'm Geraint. Must make a bigger impression.
Ashes winner Ian Bell is still struggling for recognition... among English fans
Oct 27, 2006 |
If this bloke's a Test match bowler than my backside is a fire engine.
David Lloyd confesses what he said the first time he saw Nathan Astle bowl
Oct 26, 2006 |
It's back to old-style cricket ... turgid cricket.
Nasser Hussain, clearly not one of the 'things were better in my day' brigade
Oct 23, 2006 |
Fred could take three of the Aussies down, Steve Harmison would get stuck into two, I could take one ... but they've got some big guys in their squad.
Andrew Strauss rates England's chances in a fist fight with the old enemy
Oct 22, 2006 |
We were a marriage made in heaven. He used to like to bowl all day in the nets, and I used to like to bat all day.
Australia's Mike Hussey on his battles in the Northants nets with Monty Panesar
Oct 21, 2006 |
We're a nation of sports nuts and piss-takers and all I've done is combine the two.
Billy Birmingham, creator of the 12th Man, on the amazing success of his recordings. His seventh CD is due out on December 1
Oct 20, 2006 |
I'm a professional musician who plays the trumpet for a living, not some drunk trying to play the 'Last Post' on a didgeridoo.
Barmy Army trumpeter Bill Cooper after being evicted from the Gabba. Brisbane police also threatened to arrest him for possession of a trumpet
Oct 19, 2006 |
If he's not talking about the flipper it's the zooter, the slider, or the wrong 'un. He'll shortly start working on a ball that loops the loop, disappears down his trouser leg, and whistles 'Waltzing Matilda' before rattling into the stumps.
The Daily Telegraph's Martin Johnson on Warne's variation-a-day stunts
Oct 17, 2006 |
You tried to start the wave and that's not allowed. We don't muck around up here.
A police officer gets heavy-handed when dealing with two Australia fans, Luke Cassidy and Paul Resnikoff, who committed the despicable crime of trying to start a Mexican wave at the Gabba
Oct 17, 2006 |
I remember when someone asked me for my autograph and when I went over they slapped a minced beef and onion pie on my head.
Phil Tufnell with some affectionate memories of playing cricket in Australia
Oct 16, 2006 |
I don't care if Tony Blair or Robbie Williams bowl me the first ball of the Ashes series - all my team-mates and I care about is winning back the Ashes
Justin Langer is raring to go
Oct 15, 2006 |
I don't think there's too much racist about that."
James Sutherland, Cricket Australia's chief executive, when asked if a spectator allegedly calling Monty Panesar a "stupid Indian" was unacceptable
Oct 11, 2006 |
Mercy ... it is getting just too boring.
A headline in the Hindustan Times suggests that their cricket correspondent had had enough after four days of the Duleep Trophy final
Oct 10, 2006 |
International cricket brings in millions of pounds and there is no way the game's administrators will stop their money-grabbing ways. It means players are being worked into the ground and the burden of playing non-stop cricket is taking its toll.
Blunt talking from Geoff Boycott ... and with more than a hundred Test appearances to his name, he speaks from experience
Oct 9, 2006 |
We've got Stuart MacGill sitting in the dressing room, so if all else fails we just bring him and Warnie out and I'm sure the Pommies ... they'll all be going home with depression.
Tact and sympathy from Jeff Thomson
Oct 8, 2006 |
I can't cope, I want to go home.
Marcus Trescothick in his hotel room in Sydney
Oct 7, 2006 |
A nation that recently dismissed an accredited international tournament as an irrelevance dared to treat a state team with a proud tradition as a mere plaything.
An unhappy Peter Roebuck reflects on England's approach to the tour match against New South Wales
Oct 6, 2006 |