On collapses

Shoaib Akhtar: continuing from where Wasim and Waqar left off © Getty Images

It could be the film that revived Lollywood - Pakistan's struggling, and optimistically named film industry.

`New Zealand and Pakistan - The Collapse', starring charismatic, resourceful and muscled speedsters with an eye for the spectacular. They take on the gum-chewing, sneering and cocky Antipodeans, in an action-packed adventure with plenty of thrills and spills. It would be a guaranteed crowd puller, with any number of sequels and prequels in the pipeline.

What happened at Wellington in New Zealand's second innings, sensational and dramatic as it was, was simply one more in a long list of collapses in the nineties against Pakistan. In every series the two teams have played since 1990-91, the bat has constantly been vanquished in its eternal struggle with the ball. Only the actors have changed - while Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis once terrorised the likes of Martin Crowe, Mark Greatbatch and Ken Rutherford, lately, Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Sami have done the same to Stephen Fleming, Lou Vincent, Mark Richardson et all.

1990-91, 1st Test at Karachi, 1st innings
After looking comfortable for most of the first day of the series, New Zealand collapsed from 167 for 3 to 196 all out, as Wasim, armed with an old ball, reverse-swung his way through the middle-order and tail.

1990-91, 2nd Test at Lahore, 2nd innings
A Test later, Waqar did a me-too, destroying the hapless New Zealanders with exaggerated late swing; Six wickets fell for 81 runs, as a score of 206 for 4 swiftly evolved to 287 all out, amid accusations of dirty deeds involving bottle tops.

1992-93, Only Test at Hamilton, 2nd innings
Perhaps the most memorable, if not remarkable collapse, ever engineered. Chasing a paltry 125, New Zealand weathered an early storm to reach a comfortable 65 for 3. Then, Asif Mujtaba held onto a blinder at short leg to dismiss Andrew Jones. That was just the break Pakistan needed. Waqar and Wasim then ran rampant as New Zealand were bundled out for 93.

1993-94, 2nd Test at Wellington, 1st innings
Wasim was overthrown as captain by his own team-mates, and he took it all out on New Zealand. The hosts lost their last seven wickets for 75 runs, crashed to 175 all out and eventually lost the game and the series. At Auckland, a week earlier, their last seven fell for 72. In the ODI series, Waqar Younis took over and skittled out New Zealand twice; 62 for 3 to 110 all out and 142 for 4 to 161 all out, both times at Eden Park.

1995-96, Only test at Christchurch, 1st innings
New Zealand lost six wickets for 65 runs and crashed to 286, as Wasim ran amok. But earlier, keen to prove that they too could disintegrate spectacularly, Pakistan lost nine wickets for 70 runs, to be 208 all out.

Mohammad Sami: even when Shoaib's not around, there's no respite for New Zealand © Getty Images

1996-97, 2nd Test at Rawalpindi, 2nd innings
Wasim and Waqar took a back seat while Mohammad Zahid came to the party with extreme pace and reverse swing, sending New Zealand packing for 168 after they were placed at 105 for 1. The defeat meant that Pakistan had equalled the series.

2000-01, 1st Test at Auckland, 2nd innings
A new millennium, new players, but the same results. Pakistan's fast bowling legacy was bestowed upon Sami's narrow shoulders. Making his debut, the bowler took five wickets to tear through a frail batting line-up, and initiated the loss of nine wickets for a paltry 26 runs. A number of Pakistan players, including Shoaib, didn't play this one.

2001-02, 1st Test at Lahore, 2nd innings
The first innings was one big collapse (73 all out), courtesy Shoaib. New Zealand then crashed to Danish Kaneria's guiles, self-destructing from 186 for 3 to 246 all out. Oh, they also suffered their heaviest defeat ever.

2003-04, 2nd ODI at Lahore
Before the Wellington Test, Sami engineered what was possibly the most statistically-thrilling collapse in New Zealand-Pakistan contests. 155 for 4 became 157 all out as Sami bowled straight and fast to rip apart a virtual 2nd XI.

2003-04, 2nd Test at Wellington, 2nd innings
The big one. And it wasn't against a 2nd XI. Shoaib continued his love affair with New Zealand's batsmen, bringing about a demise so spectacular, even die-hard collapse-spotters were left breathless. At 95 for 3, with a big lead, New Zealand were home, and almost dry. Then came an assault so swift and precise, it would have pleased the greatest assassins. In an hour of complete mayhem, New Zealand had been derailed by the Rawalpindi Express, losing seven wickets for eight runs. Statistically mind-boggling, this was a decimation, not a collapse.

The past 13 years have had collapses claiming 91 wickets for 576 runs. And with five ODI's still to be played, it's possible that another implosion is just around the corner.

`New Zealand and Pakistan - The Collapse'. Maybe it's not a film, but an ongoing soap opera.