'I'm gonna need to embrace this jetlag today'
Poor Phil Jaques is having a tough time.
Yeah, about a billion things, including "infrequent international travel due to having a real job".
The stiff upper lip
Graeme Smith's arrived in Australia and he's being a bit more resilient.
That's the spirit. No one wants to hear highly paid cricketers moaning about the side-effects of international flights.
That sounds suspiciously like a whinge. Here's a tip for you as well, Graeme - if you're trying to sleep, you might want to try closing your eyes.
Matt Prior's suffering too. How will he tackle the problem?
What's with you people? Close your eyes. It's basic going-to-sleep methodology. You're all remembering to lie down, aren't you? You're all remembering to stop doing stuff?
Stuart Broad's got big plans for the winter.
Jimmy Anderson responded with his own idea.
That comment was perhaps just a little disingenuous. They've only just got to India and they're falling out already.
Fortunately, once Matt Prior settled on #viewofawall, everyone had a photo project and they were all too busy to bicker with each other. Peace reigned until Stuart Broad's second exciting instalment.
You want to know our thoughts? We think that if you continue to imply that one of your team-mates has an unquenchable appetite, it might mean you have to undergo a reintegration period before too long. They're all the rage these days.
Nikita Miller congratulates Courtney Walsh on a memorable first.
Tino Best's modesty corner
Tino's got a quote for us from one of his heroes.
What kind of a man quotes himself?
What's your philosophy?
Hashim Amla's noticed something.
Is that a Tim Bresnan reference? Try feeding him something different. Try him with something pastry-based.
On the subject of food, an awful lot of it has been "smashed" in recent weeks, so we might as well make something out of it. South Africa's David Miller kicks off this positively electric new feature.
"Smashing another burger king now.. #banker"
Hold on tight. There'll be plenty more thrills and spills along these lines in coming weeks…
Matt Prior's acting threateningly.
Smash it. It's daring you to do so. Although on the other hand, the caffeine might keep you awake.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket