'I'd be a left-handed slogger who bowled mystery spin'
Who'd be a fast bowler if given the chance? Not Matthew Hoggard, for sure
There's been so many. Once, we got Andy Walpole [the ECB's head of communications] to pick up the air-conditioning remote control and answer it as a telephone three times in South Africa. That was pretty funny.
There's been 17 years of them - there are too many. It's very hard to pick out but I'll go with the obvious - winning the Ashes.
On his day, Fidel Edwards. He bowled a spell against me at Old Trafford, for West Indies, and he's got that horrible slingy action. He was bowling with a hard new ball and really banging it in. I was batting with Graham Thorpe at the time and he hit him and broke his thumb. I remember Thorpey saying to me, "Can you stay down his end? You're playing him better." I told him where to go!
I've seen a few. Andrew Flintoff hit it a long way, Nathan Astle hit it a long way, and so did Chris Cairns. Adam Gilchrist did too. I'll go with him.
Don't get hit and don't play a shot! It's not nice going in there and facing bowlers who are fresh and steaming in with a brand new ball. On the plus side, once you get out you can sit back with your pads off, knowing you don't have to bat again.
I doubt it. It's hard to say and you'd have to make a judgement at the time, but I don't think I would.
A nice bit of battered fish.
I can't pick one - it's impossible. A slice of every meat. No, two slices of every meat.
Have I bollocks!
It's got to be Malham - it's beautiful there.
No, what a load of codswallop they are. Neil McKenzie had a load of them and he was a proper numpty.
I would be a middle-order left-handed slogger who stood at first slip and bowled a bit of mystery spin.
(Laughs) I don't have any.
It depends if it's pre-11 o'clock or post-11 o'clock. If it's before, he might get a grunt and be right.
I shared with Mark Lawson when I was at Yorkshire. He was the dirtiest, rudest boy you could ever imagine. I couldn't deal with him, so I went and paid for a separate room for myself.
There are shedloads of things. I'll say the banter in the changing room.
Coming on to bowl that fourth spell in the same day.