India are gearing up to avenge the whitewash they had inflicted upon them in England last year, so naturally England's players can be expected to feel a bit worried. Not, Bresnan, who has said the prospect of bowling to Sachin Tendulkar doesn't worry him at all, because the Indian batsman is just "human". Some subtle pre-series mental disintegration, there
An administrator's most important skill is to find someone to blame for problems. The ECB's Dave Collier said it was the South Africans who provoked Kevin Pietersen into the exchange of messages that led to him being dropped by England. How Gary Kirsten must have twirled his imaginary moustache and laughed when the texting drama went down. If only South African officials were competent enough to blame a foreign hand for their team choking in world events.
It used to be dodgy prawns and curries that helped subcontinent teams knock touring sides off their feet. But now in the age of super-fitness, familiarity with the conditions, and protein shakes, the new weapon is packaged drinking water - harmless to look at, even welcoming, but with the ability to trim squads by half.
The BCCI has asked its players to wear the same jersey design at the World Twenty20 that they wore during the victorious World Cup 2011 campaign so it brings them good luck in Sri Lanka. So now all they have to do is reach out and grab the trophy.
With so many defeats to swallow, what New Zealand need is an optimistic, upbeat leader. They have one in Rossco, who isn't beating himself up for scoring two hundreds in his last 30 innings. "When you score two centuries in 30 innings, sometimes you score two in two games. So you never know," said Taylor. Yes, Ross, that's exactly how Bradman approached his game too.
You can't keep a good man quiet for too long. While KP relies or Twitter, and now Youtube, to spread the message of the England board's bad behaviour, Haider, uses Facebook to clean Pakistan cricket of corruption. His rants against Kamran Akmal? That's called whistleblowing, not jealousy.
Just as we got tired of controversies over bent elbows, cricket decided to keep us hooked to it through bent knees: those knobbly bits of tissue and cartilage in our legs which can be hazardous to stumps and a batsman's concentration. Let the conspiracy theories begin.
Our best friends will always bring perspective to all our problems, won't they? Death of one-day cricket? Overkill of India-Sri Lanka matches? Rohit Sharma's batting form? None of that is as important as one's digestive process - that's what two canines chose to explain to us by defecating on the Premadasa outfield
The Indian board has announced it will pay players who missed the IPL with injuries sustained in the course of national duty, thus settling the club-v-country debate once and for all. Among the needy recipients of the BCCI's largesse is a struggling up and comer called Sachin Tendulkar.
The New Zealand captain has given his players a boost of confidence by declaring that West Indies offspinner Sunil Narine, who took 20 wickets from seven limited-overs matches of the tour so far, will not be a threat in the Tests. The pitches may suit him, the fields can be set to crowd the batsman, but hey, in a Test, you don't have to go after him, do you? Thanks Rossco, no one's feeling suffocated then.
For keeping us on tenterhooks about imminent comebacks. KP would like to keep the one-day door from which he exited last month ajar, while Ganguly said he regretted retiring in 2008. Does that mean we'll get to see more of these two prima donnas? Exciting times ahead.
If it's July it must be time to catch up your sleep, reading, knitting or Angry Birds. There'll be very little Test cricket to watch, seeing as it has considerately been scheduled during Sri Lanka's rainy season. Thank you, Sri Lanka Cricket, for helping us realise there's more to life than cricket.
By losing to Zimbabwe in the Twenty20 Triangular Series final, the Saffers ensured the rich tradition of failing in knockout matches was not broken. Also, props to them for providing ample encouragement to our minnow brothers.