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Why does the BCCI hate DRS?
No, it's not because there is something charming about human error
When Hawk-eye was first introduced, the BCCI thought:
"Life isn't meant to be fair, so this is unnatural"
"Lines, angles, curves, predictive path! So hard to grasp!"
"Ha! This is nothing"
HotSpot, according to the BCCI, is:
Rubbish, because what is infra-red technology compared to truth-inducing potions?
The surface area of a corner, where you land after a particularly poor performance
A synonym for the desires that you must renounce
The BCCI thinks Snicko is:
Not suited to its wavelength
Rubbish, because technology used in land mines is far superior
About getting a competitive edge, which diverts you from your life's purpose
Every time the ICC brings up the issue of mandatory DRS, the BCCI says:
"God, this place is as restrictive and unbending as school"
"Everything in life is impermanent"
"Let's wait. Something better will come around soon, no doubt"
When the BCCI says the DRS is not 100% accurate, what it really means is:
The only absolute in this universe is nirvana
Don't you want something that will wow you?
Achieving even 50% was so hard, 100% is impossible
The BCCI thinks technology is best used for:
Calculations that you can't do on your fingers
Getting patents and selling rights to the highest bidder
When it was told that the system could be improved by handing over control to the third umpire, the BCCI said:
"Those authority figures are not sympathetic. They never spare the rod when you fail"
"Control is an illusion"
"You might as well hand over the decision-making to a drunken goat"
If the ICC manages to push through a mandatory DRS, the BCCI will:
Probably lose millions in R&D costs
Probably need tutorials
Accept its fate
What sort of consensus would make the BCCI happy?
The sort that even kindergarten kids can understand
The sort that accepts that dualism is not possible
The sort that will make it very rich
More in Page 2
'The most exhilarating day of Test cricket that I have witnessed'
Nineteen wickets on a see-saw day at Lord's was a brilliant advertisement for Test cricket
A Birmingham hat-trick
A damp squib of a contest, but a fantastic day for an Indian fan in Birmingham
Eden Gardens turns on the magic again
A pitch with bounce, plenty of runs, a capacity crowd and a last-over finish all made it a day to remember
'Why did I bother buying day 5 tickets?'
No day five contest at Newlands after Kagiso Rabada took a ten-for to wrap up the series win for South Africa
The chants of Virat-Virat are here to stay
A see-saw day at the Wankhede, including a Kohli century and a boisterous crowd made it a memorable occasion
Helm bags 5 for 11 after McCullum cuts loose
QEA overhaul set to be presented despite opposition
ECB abandons 50-over Super League plan
Chamari Atapattu signs with Yorkshire for Kia Super League
Babar Azam, Hasan Ali and Hafeez get CPL gigs
How Bangladesh is finding and developing its talent
Mustafizur, Mosaddek, Mehidy, Nazmul - where did they all come from? By
It's time to rediscover Test-match batting
England's recklessness in the name of positivity is a sign that the art of batting in the longest format is no longer given due attention
Is it possible for a Pakistani to be a fan of Ian Botham?
The Cricket Monthly
Nottingham's the charm
On tour in the UK,
witnesses a fine comeback, visits the country's oldest pub, and squeezes in some yoga lessons
Trisha Chetty's legacy in the making
An inspiration in Mark Boucher got her to focus on her wicketkeeping. Today, she's a record-holder - and wants to go further
© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.