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Tests of Character
Discover yourself by taking our quizzes
What sort of IPL scandal appeals to you?
So many dirty deeds to choose from
A cricketer is reported to have caused a huge ruckus and damaged property during an IPL party. Your reaction is:
Must have got turned down by some cheerleader
Will he be sued?
Were there any broken limbs or black-eyes?
Ha ha. First, on the Lord's balcony. Now this.
News comes in that some players are paid nearly twice their signing fee, under the table. You think:
They must have arm-twisted the poor franchises. That SRK always looked a ba lamb
You can't pay obscene amounts of money and think that compensates for the way you shabbily treat great players
Paid into offshore accounts, no doubt
Only money? Not something extra to sweeten the deal?
There are rumours that the IPL parties have become pick-up joints. What do you think?
Pick up great cricketing tips from legends? That's nice
Cricketers and cheerleaders - what else do you expect?
The picking up of players' bar tabs by sponsors, no doubt
And then there will be brawls when players eye another's partner
A study claims that Indian batsmen have lost their ability to play through the off side because of all the slogging in the IPL. What would be your comment on the issue?
Someone must have paid these batsmen to do that
It's a slap on the face of Indian batsmanship
Who cares? The off side shall always be graced by the Prince
It's what you get for trying to get your leg over all the time
The police says betting is rampant during IPL matches and therefore fixing must be too. What should the cops do?
Lure players into confessing their crimes to beautiful models who are undercover agents
Get an honest, upstanding former Indian captain to use the force of his personality to motivate all the players to play to win
Beat out confessions from every batsman who is dismissed for under 20 and every bowler who goes for over 50 runs
Leave marked bills lying around cricketers' dressing rooms and see who takes them. That's the guilty one
A batsman turns up to a match with a hangover. What do you think will happen next?
The team will fine him and ask him to collect donations from the spectators, ostensibly for Alcoholics Anonymous
He'll vomit on the ball; the bowler, taking it as a personal insult, will stick the ball down the batsman's throat; the non-striker will attack the bowler with his bat; the bowler will grab a stump and the two will duel down the pitch
Who cares about hangovers when Kolkata fans had to endure the agony of seeing their beloved player play for an opponent at Eden Gardens?
He is excused from playing and spends the whole match flirting with and ogling at the cheerleaders
Shahrukh Khan breaks into the Wankhede, from where he has been banned for five years, and spray-paints "Tendulkar is a fraud" on the pitch. What will happen next?
The Mumbai Cricket Association will earn millions after turning the ground and the pitch into a museum of horror, meanwhile moving its cricketing operations to the DY Patil Stadium
Riots in Mumbai and a ban on him ever acting again (a good thing that)
People will finally stop believing the Tendulkar myth and finally give due credit to the true legend of Indian cricket
Shahrukh's female fan following will increase because he'll now be viewed as a bad boy
A sting reveals that a franchise is giving performance-enhancing drugs to its players. What should the tournament organisers do?
Dissuade players from taking such drugs by telling them how it will affect their performance in, er, other areas of life
Organise a cage fight between the steroid-filled players
Sell the remaining drugs in the black market
Shame the players by giving them the example of a 39-year-old warrior who inspires his subordinates through his performances, which are anything but enhanced
Models who attend IPL parties are accused of being honey traps, sent by bookies to lure players into fixing. Are you shocked?
I don't think it will work. Because all the models will only be attracted to one player, who reeks maturity, regality and awesomeness
Not about their ability to seduce players; not so sure about the fixing
Not at all. Everything about the IPL has a financial angle to it
Yes. Why not use bear traps instead?
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The Ashes Olympiad edition
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