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Series/Tournaments:
Indian Premier League
Teams:
Chennai Super Kings
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As the IPL approaches the mid-way point, many teams who would have considered themselves title contenders before the tournament find themselves scrambling for survival.
Chennai Super Kings, in particular, would have expected to be in a far stronger position at this point in the league. Their coach, Stephen Fleming, has admitted that some of his ideas haven't quite worked out as well as he'd have liked.
"I must agree that asking S Badrinath to go out there and play his natural game was a big mistake. I didn't realise that his natural game consisted entirely of solid-looking defensive strokes, a wide range of shots that somehow all go directly to the point fielder, and a few ill-executed dilscoops for comfortable singles. Not quite what we needed at the time," said Fleming. "Additionally, it was unwise of Badri to attempt that mid-pitch victory chest-bump with MS Dhoni, even before the match was won. We must keep victory celebrations to celebrate actual victories, not minor events such as a quick push past mid-on for a brace. It's something we'll have to discuss at team meetings," he added, giving valuable insights into the inner workings of a leading sports team.
Fleming also defended the continuing selection of MS Gony in the playing XI, despite his repeated failures in all three departments of the game (Gony might even have failed in the fourth or fifth departments, if cricket actually had such things). "You have to realise that form is temporary, but lack of class is permanent," Fleming offered by way of justification.
Meanwhile, the Indian sports minister Mr MS Gill's recent criticism of the IPL as being "only about entertainment" has elicited a slightly amused response from IPL commissioner Lalit Modi.
"Say, what? Only about entertainment? Really? I suppose the honourable minister would prefer it if we fine-tuned the tournament rules so that it would educate the public on sanitation, basic calculus, and the life and times of W Somerset Maugham? Maybe we should just replace the cheerleaders with history professors, and the advertisements with random clips from the UGC programme?" joked Modi, who was immediately inundated with text messages from anxious fans who took him seriously.
"I agree that the IPL is about entertainment, but so are Indian Olympic sports, which the ministry handles. It's just that while we entertain spectators, they focus on making sure that the various sports association officials have the time of their lives. So we're not that different, really, when it comes to modifying rules to focus on entertainment," he argued. Mr Modi also refuted the common allegation that the BCCI and the IPL were killing other sports in India. "What nonsense. We're not even done killing cricket completely yet, so the question of wasting valuable resources on killing other sports does not arise," he snapped.
Following the sensational success of the MRF blimp, which was described by Sunil Gavaskar as something that was "at the forefront of technology", the IPL is asking sponsors to introduce other marvels of modern science for the commentary team to swoon over. Some initial ideas reportedly include a fountain pen, a student's microscope, and a Rubik's cube. Danny Morrison has already been spotted practising some high-pitched squeals of delight in anticipation.
Anand Ramachandran is a writer and humourist based in Mumbai. He blogs at bosey.co.in. Any or all quotes and facts in this article may be wholly or partly fictional (but you knew that already, didn't you?)
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Anand Ramachandran is a satirist, comics writer and columnist based in Mumbai, India. He specialises in finding creative ways to justify time and money spent on watching sports, playing games and reading comics as "professional investment". He boasts a batting average of 79.66 with 53 first-class hundreds in various cricket videogames, on platforms as diverse as the Sinclair ZX-Spectrum and modern PCs and consoles.

The article was even more entertaining than IPL itself. But to take digs at Badrinath using the surrogate mouth of Fleming was uncalled for. No cricketer has been as unfortunate in securing an International berth as he has been. Lack of recognition of class is becoming permanent. No one is denying that watching the IPL is addictive. But if Test Cricket is like a Bergman Movie, IPL is like a "Bollywood" masala thriller- a little bit for everyone,even the skywatchers by way of Gavaskar's 'blimp' (which for all except the harebrained is a tethered balloon). And if no Indian pace bowler is likely to break the 150kmph barrier, do not worry. Harsha Bogle is at the threshold of the 150 words per-minute record. Let's wish him all success!
Posted by aravinth_joy on (April 02 2010, 05:55 AM GMT)comments on badrinath-very true
Posted by Adityamainkar on (April 02 2010, 00:45 AM GMT)@rohithreddy : Why people say IPL has ruined cricket is Becos of it...We are deprived of real cricket Tests and ODIs. Another reason it is making people injury prone. Number of Indian players injured during IPL is prime example of that. and in coming years we will see strong decline in Indian cricket where India will find them next to Bangladesh in Cricket with BCCI richest in world....Enjoy that time when Lalit Modi will announce 10 International players per side.
Posted byI loved the comment on "form is temporary, but lack of class is permanent"; Hahaha... super. That was too good! Regarding UGC programs, I thought some were actually good; does anyone remember the British dude in a suit teaching Optics?
Posted by nerobrain on (April 01 2010, 19:21 PM GMT)nice article, i enjoyed every bit on it...mention of natural game reminds me of Kaif...his natural game scapping is not doing any good to Mohali either.
Posted by _NEUTRAL_Fan_ on (April 01 2010, 19:18 PM GMT)@ CricEshwar. Look, you need to understand that the IPL is a big revolution in CRICKET and could go a good way to influence its future. Every true cricket fan is going to watch it of course to see what it is like and then it is THEIR RIGHT to comment when given an opportunity, expressing their opinion. If they have things they like or do not like about it, they will express it and so you have no right to tell them to switch off the tv and keep quiet if they express something about it they don't like. I personally have many things I like about IPL and many things I don't. I personally think it has a great future but has kinks that need to be ironed out to ensure that cricket on a whole benefits and remains just as watchable and of a good standard across all 3 formats. Of course evry1 will have their favorite format but it is good if they are given the best standard of each to choose from.
Posted by randikaayya on (April 01 2010, 18:23 PM GMT)@CricEshou forget the fact that 'nonsense' had followers only for its hollow entertainment factor. But cricket on the other hand has a massive, attentive, studious and intelligent follower-ship round the globe. When something like that is ridiculed in a circus like IPL there will be sentiments raised! For one IPL is an overkill. second it makes a mockery out of the game by falsely hyping each and every bit of it. a miscued drive over the slips to the fence is now 'marvelous' in the eyes of former great cricketers commentating. Advertising and the dilution of the brand of cricket is of ridiculous proportions. 150 years of great tradition washed away in matter of few months. Cricket has been converted into a shallow Bollywood production with songs, fights, crying scenes and a few upskirts. The good thing about it is though, IPL is just a hype like many things Indian. It'll die off within a couple of years at the rate its degrading itself
Posted by Yogi108 on (April 01 2010, 17:17 PM GMT)Anand, hilarious article. Not too ham-handed humor. Particularly liked the bit about Fleming on Badri's natural game, as well as the quip attributed to Modi, 'We are not even done killing cricket yet'. Keep it coming! Thanks!
Posted by kapil__goyal on (April 01 2010, 16:24 PM GMT)Fleming made a mistake with Badri. What about Jakati? Whose mistake was that? A bowler who took 4 wickets in 2 consecutive matches last season was benched for no reason what so ever
Posted by crying_game on (April 01 2010, 14:47 PM GMT)ah yes! the glourious effing blimp! that thing of wonder in the sky that leaves 'em commentators gaping mouth wide open, if only for a second before they start yapping away with their inanities! I love watching the IPL as much as i love not watching paint dry, but them commentators!! a blimp!? seriously?? have they even seen a blimp?? its a friggin huge baloon is what it is. thank you anand for voicing out that gut wrenching yell i manage to contain whenever i hear sunnyg gettin giddy on a big fat baloon.