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Mohammad Amir in breach of ban again

Pakistan seamer in trouble for appearing in hallway cricket game

Andrew Fernando

Comments: 52 | Text size: A | A
Mohammad Amir arrives at the airport to leave for his hearing in Dubai, Lahore, October 29, 2010
Mohammad Amir is visibly upset after he's informed that he cannot read any vampire novels where the protagonists turn into bats © Associated Press
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Players/Officials: Mohammad Amir
Teams: Pakistan

The ICC is investigating claims that Pakistan seamer Mohammad Amir breached his ban by playing in a hallway cricket game at a family gathering in his hometown of Changa Bangyaal. Amir took 22 wickets and made the game's top score of 9, leading his side to an overwhelming victory against the opposition, who mainly comprised overweight men above 45 trying to teach their daughters how to play.

"We are investigating and awaiting a reply," said ICC official Gareth Harris. "Amir's ban is absolute. He can't play for a national team, regional side, club, or for friends and family. He can't play any cricket-themed computer games, no book cricket with classmates, he can't even think about cricket. In fact, if he happens to find a cricket on his clothes while camping, he just has to ignore it or else he is defying our ban."

Harris said the reported hallway cricket incident, if found to be true, falls well inside the ban's reach - from which there is little escape.

"If Amir thought playing a game in a relatively inconsequential small town was fine, he is clearly underestimating the absoluteness of this ban. Not only is this ban global, meaning no corner of the world is safe, but it's universal as well, so zero-gravity cricket is out. In addition, he's banned from playing in whatever exists outside of the universe and the ban also applies across all 12 spatial dimensions hypothesised by string theorists."

Amir said he had only agreed to play the game after being assured by relatives that the match would not contravene the ban.

"I asked several of my cousins if the match fell in the ICC's jurisdiction, and they didn't give me any reason to believe that it did," he said. "Though in retrospect, they were all under the age of 12, and their judgement may have been clouded by the Fanta they had been guzzling prior to the match."

Amir's brother Akif, who had played on the opposing team, told reporters that he was extremely surprised to see Amir appear for the hallway cricket match.

"I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing," Akif said. "He even posed for a photo with me during the match. It was unreal." However, Akif said he fully supported his brother's ban, having seen how much of a blatant cheater he was during the game.

"I hope he never plays again," Akif said. "Anyone who thinks I nicked behind when the ball had clearly hit the side wall instead of my bat is a gigantic liar and should not be allowed to disgrace the game at any level. He even appealed whenever the ball hit the batsman's leg, when he knows full well that there is no lbw in hallway cricket."

Amir though, played down Akif's comments, claiming they were motivated by jealousy. "He's just mad because he bowls like a girl and I got him out for 2. He always does this."

Andrew Fernando writes for The Pigeon and has a column here. All quotes and "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?

Tell us what you think. Send us your feedback

© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.

Comments: 52 
Posted by   on (July 20, 2011, 8:57 GMT)

@sameer ahmed... Your comments is more hilarious than the article... lol.. Its Page 2...Have u missed out the line at the end of this article "All quotes and "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?"...

ROFL....

Posted by   on (July 20, 2011, 8:54 GMT)

lol.... hilarious.... What is the significance of that top score 9 in particular? I'm just wondering... :-)

Posted by enigma77543 on (July 19, 2011, 17:09 GMT)

HILARIOUS LMAO --- "He can't play any cricket-themed computer games, no book cricket with classmates, he can't even think about cricket. In fact, if he happens to find a cricket on his clothes while camping, he just has to ignore it or else he is defying our ban." --- "Not only is this ban global, meaning no corner of the world is safe, but it's universal as well, so zero-gravity cricket is out. In addition, he's banned from playing in whatever exists outside of the universe and the ban also applies across all 12 spatial dimensions hypothesised by string theorists." ROFL

Posted by   on (July 19, 2011, 13:49 GMT)

Andrew - you couldn't make laugh mate :(

Posted by Ronsars on (July 19, 2011, 12:12 GMT)

When would some people from certain mulk understand that this is just humour & this is page 2 guys....Great hilarious article

Posted by Khan.Amjad on (July 19, 2011, 10:05 GMT)

I dont want Amir in the National Team for what he has done against my country. I would prefer Junaid Khan in the squad over him.

Posted by xkuta on (July 19, 2011, 9:39 GMT)

Great article! ICC has become a laughing point. I mean i can live with 5 yr. ban as the mistake he made was big and needed to be a lesson for other young cricketers. But banning him from any type of cricket means that ICC is trying there level best to ruin his telent and thereby ruining his life! This is uncalled for! ICC is not the only one to be blamed for it, it is Amir's bad luck that he has no support from his board. Any other board would have done there level best to protect a telent like him.

Posted by   on (July 19, 2011, 6:53 GMT)

@Masud_BITK: Try to understand the funny side of this article! This ain't for real.

Nice on Andy! Keep writing..

Posted by drlimpel on (July 19, 2011, 5:46 GMT)

Hahaha finally a genuinely funny article on cricinfo after a looooooonnnng time

Posted by Masud_BITK on (July 19, 2011, 4:47 GMT)

What a shame for a cricketer? Is that Ban means he can't play cricket with even frineds or backyard? Why is that? It is my freedom to play cricket wherever I want except under ICC who banned me...No one can block my natural will? Enough is enough..

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