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The week on Twitter

'Life is a pilgrimage from nowhere to nowhere'

That and other world-class offerings in our round-up of the notable cricket Twitter action of the week

Alex Bowden

Comments: 7 | Text size: A | A
Wayne Parnell has seen better days, India v South Africa, 2nd Test, Kolkata, 3rd day, February 16, 2010
Parnell: SA player in unfortunate use on Twitter of "choking" shocker © Getty Images
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Tino Best's modesty corner
"Once given the chance I'm gonna bowl at the speed of sound #97mphAlwayz"
For the record, Tino, sound actually travels at 340.29 metres a second. 97mph is more like the speed of a Vauxhall Cavalier going downhill on a dual carriageway.

Film appreciation with Graeme Swann
"The disparity in fitness between Katie Holmes and Maggie Gyllenhaal playing Rachel Dawes in the batman movies is quite staggering."
@Swanngg66 (Graeme Swann)

The silent partner
"The advantage of being with Sidhu on a cricket talk show..is I get a lot of time to think : )"
@sanjaymanjrekar

What's your philosophy?
"Life is a pilgrimage to nowhere, from nowhere to nowhere. And between these two nowheres is the Now-Here."
@Montyp713 (Monty Panesar)

Tourist information service
"Visited the Big Bull Temple in Bangalore today. Was no big banana, but not a bad bit of granite."
@bailsgeorge (George Bailey)

Getting to know God
The great thing about Twitter is that it provides a window into the lives of some of the sport's biggest stars. It's particularly intriguing to get an insight into the life of the biggest name of all.
"Had couple of net sessions and feeling good. Tomorrow is an important game for us in Mumbai."
@sachin_rt (Sachin Tendulkar)

The demon barber requirement
Obviously, the highlight of the week was Sourav Ganguly's bizarre, bouncing flap of hair shortly after he bowled Kevin Pietersen in the IPL. Yuvraj Singh was so horrified, he wanted to take action.
Dada I'm coming on 26th to pune with some hair gel and a scissor ! So you have one day to decide"
@YUVSTRONG12

Go for the scissor, Sourav. He surely won't achieve much with just one.

Literally…
"Choking on my food here watching @ABdeVilliers17 smash it to literally every part of the ground #worldclass"
@WayneParnell

Not literally every part of the ground, Wayne. De Villiers didn't smash it into the toilets, for example. But Parnell's not the only one who has literally no idea how to use a certain word.

"Ive been without a phone for a mere 2 hours, and its driving me wild. Literally can't cope. Not sure how we used to do it..."
@StuartBroad8

Fortunately, Broad was still using Twitter the next day, so we can assume he found some way to cope in the end.

Life in county cricket
One player managed to pretty much sum up the experience of playing county cricket in fewer than 140 characters.

"Game rained off, its a draw. Off to chelmsford now."
@AlviroPetersen

Graham Onions was having a better experience, however:
"Didn't sleep a wink last night at the excitement of a lords lunch,roll on 1pm"
@BunnyOnions

Bed-time stories
"Is my nob of a neighbour allowed to use his petrol mower at 8am??? Not amused"
@si610*

Meanwhile, in India:

"Undecided on whether to actually get up today.. 3pm still in bed!! Don't think I can be bothered."
@kevinpp24 (Kevin Pietersen)

Jobseeker's allowance
Andrew Flintoff asked Kevin Pietersen if Delhi Daredevils had any need of "an old allrounder who can't bat and too unfit to bowl". But what kind of salary would he demand?

"I'll come for a lamb rogan josh and pint of kingfisher"
@flintoff11

No one in cricket can resist a Mike Gatting joke
Not even the BBC's Jonathan Agnew (@Aggerscricket).

"Might have to go steady this evening - judging the 2012 British Pie Awards in Melton Mowbray tomorrow - and there's 900 of them!"

"Criteria: 1) Appearance 2) Baking 3) Pastry thickness 4) Pastry texture & taste 5) Filling 6) Filling texture & taste....hungry yet?"

"Not sure why I was chosen - presumably Gatt had previous engagement."

Life lessons from cricketers
"Cordless drills are only any good when you can find the charger..."
@iainobrien

*April 26, 2012, 1435GMT: The Twitter handle of Simon Jones was changed to si610

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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Comments: 7 
Posted by   on (April 26, 2012, 20:46 GMT)

now here............ monty is nowhere

Posted by   on (April 26, 2012, 15:22 GMT)

monty is such a philosopher....wonder why his cricket career is going no where tho!

Posted by Cricinfo-Editorial on (April 26, 2012, 14:36 GMT)

Simon Jones' Twitter handle has been fixed in the article. Thanks to the sharp Farrukh Aziz for pointing it out

Posted by   on (April 26, 2012, 12:46 GMT)

Simon Jones is not @SJ610, he's at SI610

Posted by Dashgar on (April 26, 2012, 11:32 GMT)

George Bailey, hilarious.

Posted by SirWilliam on (April 26, 2012, 7:21 GMT)

Twitter: the clue's in the first four letters.

Posted by s3ns3 on (April 26, 2012, 7:18 GMT)

Comment on god's tweet was just awesome!

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