The Heavy Ball

This, that and the other. Mostly the other

The week on Twitter

'Don't hate what u can't imitate'

Copious quantities of fried chicken are served gratis with this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden

Text size: A | A
Pat Cummins walks back to his mark, Essex v Australians, Tour match, Chelmsford, June 26, 2012
Set an apostrophe wrong and he'll smash your teeth in © Getty Images
Enlarge

The exception
As an Englishman, I have never once liked an Australian fast bowler for even a fraction of a second.

"Nothing I hate more than when 'to' and 'too' are used incorrectly."
@93Cummins (Pat Cummins)

Until now! You tell 'em, Pat. Where do you stand on "should of"?

The infiltrators
James Franklin was surprised by the clientele at his favourite tourist attraction.

"Absolute chaos at Legoland today, seems everyone has decided to bring their kids today"
@jecfranklin

First the playgrounds and now this. Is there nowhere you can go these days which isn't overrun by children?

The charity match
There was a Jimmy Anderson benefit match this week. Graeme Swann had a memorable experience.

"I got Timmy Mallet out today, caught second slip. The actual Timmy Mallet. He then had me caught at deep mid wicket by a 7 yr old. #topthat"

One for UK readers in their thirties there. Sorry, everyone else.

The father
Iain O'Brien had a great week.

"This time yesterday - the happiest I have ever been seeing a penis. It's a boy!"

When was the second happiest occasion when you've seen one?

The warm-up
The summer has been a wet one in the UK. Stuart Broad has been carefully monitoring the skies, primed for action.

"Its not raining. Sprinting to the outdoor nets!"
@StuartBroad8

You've got to make the most of what you get. It's doubtful the skies were still clear when he arrived at his destination.

The film review
Rob Key watched This Means War. Tell us all about it, Rob.

"This means war. Is a very bad film"
@robkey612

Duly noted.

Nando's Watch
County cricketers really do lack inspiration when it comes to going out for food. Is there some sort of national sponsorship deal in place here?

Middlesex:

"Just sat in Nandos listening to @dmalan29 tell me about how good looking he is. Voted best looking afrikana in north london."
@finnysteve (Steven Finn)

Surrey:

"Travelling done, nets done, nando's done. Time to peruse the shops #dangerous"
@Smeaker18 (Stuart Meaker)

Leicestershire:

"The foxes loving the discount at Nando's"
@Hoggy602 (Matthew Hoggard)

Discount? Is that a special cricketers' discount?

Smashwatch
And are cricketers still "smashing" their food instead of eating it?

"Smashing a burger or two for some fuel to go the distance at brinkleys with @scottbstyris then piano bar .. #gripitandripit"
@hershybru (Herschelle Gibbs)

Sounds like it.

"Gone for a solo lunch 2day. Actually quite nice as I can devote all my attentions to demolishing some chicken."
@Jwd_16 (Jade Dernbach)

Demolition. Is that a step up or down from smashing? Daresay I know where the chicken was from though.

The fine dining
Amid all this Nando-smashing, at least Graeme Swann's taking the time to enjoy some quality meals.

"I'm going to have a toasted baked bean sandwich for dinner with a cup of Earl Grey. Pikey meets posh. #livingthedream"
@Swannyg66

That's the spirit.

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Don't hate what u can't Imitate #KeepItReal"
@tinobest

Does this give impressionists more room for manoeuvre?

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

Tell us what you think. Send us your feedback

© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.

Email this page to a friend Email Feedback Feedback Print Print
More in The Heavy Ball
RSS FeedAll
  • 'The craziest group of people I have ever seen'
    Fan Following: Perfect weather, a historic hundred, and plenty of singing in the stands made it a day to savour
  • That ball was hard to spot
    Fan Following: There was the excitement of being part of history, but this fan in Adelaide is doubtful if he will be in favour of day-night Tests. Plus, he could not sight the ball well
  • Is it ABD or ABV?
    Fan Following: An Indian fan couldn't have asked for more on day one: great weather, spinners running riot and a fighting knock from a modern great
  • A real life 'back to the future'
    Fan Following: A fan is overjoyed and overwhelmed at seeing his childhood cricketing heroes playing together in New York
  • Who says there's a problem with Test cricket?
    The Long Handle: There's too much of a kerfuffle over the death of the format. Can't we just let sleeping dinosaurs lie?
  • ESPN
  • ESPNF1
  • Scrum
  • Soccernet