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The week on Twitter

'Shall I have my sausages now or wait until morning?'

Desperate questions are posed in this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden

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Ramnaresh Sarwan loosens up during a training session, Chennai, March 19, 2011
Monday to Friday, he's Mr Animal to you and me © AFP

The non-bestial weekend
Ramnaresh Sarwan has been relaxing.

"Had a great weekend, time to go back into beast mode."

Why on earth would you spend the weekend outside beast mode if that option is available to you?

The dinner
Brad Hogg's developed an eating disorder.

"Hate it when you wear a white shirt to a restaurant and the gravy misses the mouth. #stains"

You make it sound like the gravy's the one responsible for aiming.

The bill
Shaun Marsh has spotted another Brad Hogg dining irregularity.

"Not sure why @Brad_Hogg put his buffet dinner on his room tonight when we ate at a different hotel!! #runner"

Well, would you willingly pay for such badly behaved gravy?

The training regime
Jimmy Anderson's keeping himself limber.

"Had an amazing workout this aft at Antz in your Pantz. Their big slide is brilliant! I'll seriously think about taking the kids next time."

It's all about sliding these days. Are today's children not satisfied with a good, old-fashioned long barrier?

The bereft
Thirty-seven-year-old Gary Keedy is leaving for Surrey after 15 years at Lancashire. This appears to have dealt a major blow to the social life of the equally middle-aged Glen Chapple.

"@keeds23 you've ruined coffee club!"

Clearly the first rule of Coffee Club isn't: "You do not talk about Coffee Club." It's probably more like: "Don't arrive any later than 2.30pm for Coffee Club because some of us have to leave Coffee Club at 3pm to pick up the kids from school."

The penny pincher
David Warner's pleading poverty.

"When I was little I was scared of the dark, just got my latest electricity bills and now I'm scared of the lights!!"

Unless your bill includes some stadium floodlights, we're pretty sure you can afford it.

The air miles
Kevin Pietersen's travelling.

"Right, what you got for us today BA? Another broken plane & cancelled flight or you gonna get me to Lnd for a day? Jhb-Lnd-Jhb in 48hrs!"

Couldn't you just use a telephone? You're wasting more energy than David Warner's billion-watt light bulbs.

The film wrecker
After inadvertently revealing a plot point from Taken 2, which he reviewed last week ("very decent"), Stuart Broad took it upon himself to spoil a number of other films as well.

"A giant shark goes around terrorising people in a film called Jaws... #filmwrecker"

"In Saving Private Ryan, they manage to save Private Ryan... #filmwrecker"

"They find Nemo... #filmwrecker"

The delayed gratification
Graham Onions is in a quandary.

"Shall I have my waitrose sausages now or wait until the morning? #excited"

Go with sausage and mash. You can bet that Onions makes good gravy.

What's your philosophy?
Vernon Philander's keeping upbeat.

"It sometimes helps to be 2nd best in order to learn from our mistakes. When you do end up 2nd you still haven't lost. #learn #experience"

Are South Africa looking to win in Australia later this year or are they looking to "win"?

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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Comments: 1 
Posted by chetan0208 on (October 17, 2012, 12:42 GMT)

real hilarious stuff......

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