'My target will always be the Indian team'

Of all the India Under-19 teams that have come and gone over the years, the class of 2008 stands out. Two from that batch - Virat Kohli, who led them to the World Cup title, and Ravindra Jadeja are a part of the veritable who's who of Indian cricket today. Another's - Manish Pandey - international debut took a while coming, but his temperament has been highly spoken of since he made a match-winning century in a 300-plus chase against Australia earlier this year.

But, for every star that has emerged, there are others who have fallen off the radar. Saurabh Tiwary, who was a part of Kohli's winning team in 2008, immediately comes to mind. From being spoken of as one to watch out for by MS Dhoni, Tiwary, who has played all of three ODIs, continues to fight and live his dream far from the selection radar.

Now, seven years since his last international appearance, 27-year-old Tiwary has an opportunity to show he is far from a spent force. Having led Jharkhand admirably in the absence of designated captain Varun Aaron, Tiwary's next goal is to pass the Gujarat test and take his side into their first ever Ranji Trophy final.

In the last five Ranji seasons, Tiwary, who has scored over 5000 runs in the tournament, has topped Jharkhand's batting charts three times. In the 2013-14 and 2015-16 seasons, his tally was almost twice that of the team's second-highest scorer. And, while he may have played the supporting act to Ishan Kishan and Ishank Jaggi this season, he has chipped in at vital times.

Tiwary is a quiet person, and the hurt of not having lived up to his early billing is evident when he speaks. He admits to having had thoughts of quitting the game. "It's hard to explain how one comes out of that negativity. It takes time," he tells ESPNcricinfo.

"But, it's like what they say about a dropped catch - if you can get him out once, you can get him out again. Likewise, if I have come into the team once, I can make a comeback as well. In India, there have been so many such players that have done well and have been out of the team. But it's not as though all their cricket careers have finished."

In just his second international match, against New Zealand, Tiwary partnered Yusuf Pathan in a match-winning partnership that helped India chase down a steep target of 316. Though Tiwary's contribution was dwarfed by Yusuf's belligerence, it was important as he was the last of the big-hitters in the line-up and saw his team through. In his next game, he did not get to bat as New Zealand were steamrolled in a low-scoring match, and the India spot has since deserted him.

When the negativity did creep in, Tiwary dealt with it by shutting himself inside a room, closing his eyes and thinking of that one crowning moment that he had always yearned for. "The biggest thing for me, from my childhood, was seeing Sachin [Tendulkar] sir. Just playing with him in the IPL with Mumbai Indians was the biggest thing for me, so I think of the times I got to bat with him."

That his father Sunil Kumar Tiwary - a former India volleyball player - was a sportsperson helped, as he had experience to tap into when it came to overcoming challenges.

It was after his exploits with Mumbai, in the 2010 IPL, that Tiwary shot to prominence. Long-haired and brawny, he enraptured onlookers with his bold strokeplay. It led to him getting signed up for a hefty 1.6 million-dollar sum by Royal Challengers Bangalore in 2011. Expectations were plenty, but opportunities were scant, as Tiwary mostly batted lower down and couldn't quite live up to the billing. Having seen the big bucks fairly early, Tiwary didn't have to worry about money. But his passion was overriding, and it made sure he stayed the course.

"Even before joining school, I joined a cricket academy, so cricket is something that I cannot live without," he says. "I cannot leave this and go anywhere else, irrespective of whether there is money or not. When I was playing the Ranji Trophy in 2006-07, I remember I used to get 8000 rupees as match fees. I had the same passion back then that I have today."

Post his Royal Challengers days, Tiwary had a lacklustre stint with Delhi Daredevils. More recently, his 2016 season with the debuting Rising Pune Supergiants was overshadowed by fitness issues as a visibly bulkier Tiwary struggled to keep up with the pace of T20 cricket. He never stopped trying, but the weight gain, which he admits was a result of poor food habits, led to changed perceptions.

"As a sportsperson, there is always room for improvement in something. I am the kind of person who, until the day he retires, wouldn't say that he is the best at something. Fitness is definitely something I need to get better at," he says.

Tiwary still harbours dreams of making a comeback into the national side, but he is careful not to lose focus of the present. "The target will always be to make a comeback to the Indian team. But at the end of the day, I need to feel a certain happiness when I complete a season," he says. "When I stand in front of the mirror, I need to know that whatever I have done over the course of the season, I have done it with honesty.

"In cricket, you learn something from every match you play, whether you win or lose, whether you score 100 or zero. It is said that for a batsman, his peak is from 26 to 30. Right now, I am at that age. I have been batting well throughout this season; it's just that I have been unable to convert the starts into big scores. It's not as though I am playing a poor shot; I have been getting out to good balls. Hopefully, a match will come along where I can make a big one."

The time to get that big score is now as Tiwary has the chance to carry his team into the final. If he succeeds in doing so, the "happiness" he seeks to feel from within won't be too far away.