Another day, another debacle

Just over a week after the denouement of an enthralling Ashes series filled with more nail-biting moments than a slick horror movie, Test cricket is once again flirting with farce. Both Zimbabwe and Bangladesh were hammered by an innings last week, and after just a day of action at Colombo and Harare today, it's only the cock-eyed optimist who will predict anything but two more routs.

Zimbabwe's decline, coupled with Bangladesh's inability to improve in the Test arena, has strengthened the hands of those who would rather see Test cricket become the smaller, intimate circle that it was for so long. Zimbabwe's batting on a true Harare Sports Club pitch that wasn't exactly the Gabba when it came to bounce and menace was abysmal, and India had knocked off 43 from the deficit before tea and biscuits had been had.

It was a shockingly poor effort in keeping with Zimbabwe's recent endeavours. In 13 Tests, including this one, dating back to the winter of 2003, Zimbabwe have only crossed 300 in an innings on three occasions - twice against Bangladesh. And the blatant flaws in the batsmen's techniques have allowed all manner of bowlers to pick up a bagful of cheap wickets. In May 2004, Nuwan Zoysa managed figures of 5 for 20 and last March, Jacques Kallis, whose bowling is noticeably less penetrative than it once was, cleaned up 4 for just 13.

In the very next Test, Monde Zondeki scalped 6 for 39, and when the new season started, the nadir was reached at this very ground last month with New Zealand needing just 79.3 overs to skittle 20 Zimbabwean wickets for just 158. And if further evidence of Zimbabwe's inability to match wits against quality bowling was needed, Shane Bond provided it at Bulawayo, picking up 10 for 99 in another hopelessly one-sided affair.

With Andy Flower, whose Test average surpassed that of Vivian Richards, Stephen Waugh and Denis Compton, having had enough, and others sidelined by the Zimbabwe Cricket Union's decidedly dubious selection policies, the decline borders on the terminal. In those 13 Tests, Zimbabwe have averaged 4.8 runs fewer per wicket with the bat, while conceding 5.9 runs more for each wicket taken. Over the course of a full Test, that works out to a whopping difference of 214 runs.

Having knocked over nine at Bulawayo, Irfan Pathan was in no mood to miss out on another crap-shoot. Against such opposition, faced with batsmen who don't even bother to open up their stance to negate the one that darts back in, he is in his element. His seven-wicket haul today took his tally against Zimbabwe and Bangladesh to 34 from just three-and-a-half matches. There was one especially pleasing aspect of his performance, and that was the manner in which he got rid of Tatenda Taibu.

Taibu, along with Heath Streak, is a reminder of a time when Zimbabwe actually produced international-quality players, but after being softened up by a good-length delivery into the solar plexus, he was suckered by one that shaped away, when he clearly expected another special angling in at the pads. Pathan's pace has dipped significantly since he was clocking nearly 90mph against Australia at Bangalore last October, but mismatches such as this will give him ample opportunity to learn how to work a batsman out.

The other new-ball claimant, however, did himself no favours at all with another lacklustre display. In conditions that offered plenty of assistance early on, Zaheer yet again failed to make the batsmen play enough. Sri Lanka, Pakistan and England will be far less charitable towards such mediocrity, and the unflattering figures say all you need to know about Zaheer's lack of potency. Since picking up 5 for 95 in ideal conditions at the Gabba in December 2003, he has managed a paltry 24 wickets at 49.91 in 12 Tests, six of them coming on a well-grassed surface at Nagpur.

With rumours swirling around that Ashish Nehra prefers the easy ride of one-day matches to the real thing, and with Ajit Agarkar such a hit-and-miss replacement, it's time for India to rethink pace options ahead of series against three formidable opponents. If he gets over his injury woes, Lakshmipathy Balaji is clearly the man at the front of the new-ball queue, having taken 26 wickets in six Tests against Pakistan and shown the guile and variety needed to survive on the torpid surfaces of the subcontinent. But without a lively second line of attack, India have every reason to worry about how they will fare against a Sri Lankan line-up with an appetite for big runs.

One crease appears to have been ironed out though. In Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag, India have an opening combination that look the part and score at a rapid enough clip to upset most bowling plans. And while too much can't be made of Gambhir's excellent effort today given the paucity of Zimbabwe's arsenal, the manner in which he took on Shaun Pollock and Makhaya Ntini last season was an indicator that he has both the strokes and the spirit to prevent a disappearance into the Bermuda Triangle that has consumed so many Indian openers over the past decade.

Unless Zimbabwe can find a Moses to part increasingly muddy waters, this will be another emphatic Indian victory. And while the opposition's frailty will no doubt take sheen off the achievement, the batsmen and bowlers have done what they need to ahead of sterner challenges. You can't choose your foe - the ICC calendar seems to do that for you - but when faced with the Bum of the Month, you may as well knock him out cold without breaking too much sweat.