Australia v England, 2nd Test, Adelaide, 3rd day

Wretched, weak, timid and gormless

England's batsmen threw their wickets away and set the team on a path to destruction in a display that must rank among their most humiliating

George Dobell at Adelaide Oval

December 7, 2013

Comments: 95 | Text size: A | A
Kimber: England have been brutalised

There have been many bleak days in the history of England cricket. There have been whitewashes, blackwashes, thrashings and humiliations. Not so long ago, in 1999, England slipped to the bottom of the Test rankings and were knocked out of the World Cup they were hosting before the theme song was released. They know the taste of ignominy.

But even by those standards, the third day of this Test ranks among the worst. England's batting was not just wretched and weak, it was staggeringly gormless. Had this been boxing, the referee would have stopped it. Had it been swimming, England would have drowned.

Australia deserve credit, of course. Mitchell Johnson, providing a reminder of how precious a resource extreme pace remains, has finally developed into the strike bowler Dennis Lillee predicted he could be more than a decade ago and some of the planning and field placements have been outstanding. The improvement from the Ashes series in England is as remarkable as it is admirable.

Johnson will dominate the headlines and rightly so. His pace, delivered from a slingy, left-arm action that is hard to pick-up, is a wonderful weapon for any captain and the manner in which he dealt with England's tail - and, for the sake of argument, let us call that everyone after Ian Bell - was brilliantly ruthless. There were, however, some mighty timid strokes from England.

But it is the self-inflicted harm that is most galling for England. It was the top-order wickets, frittered away with thoughtless strokes, that exposed the lower middle order and set England on a path of destruction.

They had, to some extent, done the hard work. Joe Root had seen off the early Johnson burst and earned the right to milk the spinners and, perhaps, the other seamers who were gaining little help from a pitch that remains flat.

But then Root, facing his first ball of the day from Nathan Lyon, swept it down the throat of deep-backward square leg as obligingly as if helping in catching practice and Michael Carberry, having displayed admirable composure, became frustrated by five successive maidens and pulled a short ball to midwicket from the tight but unthreatening Shane Watson.


Kevin Pietersen walks off after a cheap dismissal, Australia v England, 2nd Test, Adelaide, 3rd day, December 7, 2013
Kevin Pietersen's reckless dismissal characterised England's sloppy approach with the bat © PA Photos
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But most culpable was Kevin Pietersen. Knowing that England were missing Jonathan Trott, knowing that the team contained some inexperienced players and knowing that Matt Prior was out of form, Pietersen had a responsibility to lead the resistance.

But instead of playing the situation, instead of playing straight and waiting for the poor ball, he played like a luxury player and, having taken a couple of steps down the pitch, attempted to flick one into the leg side despite seeing two men positioned for the stroke. They weren't in camouflage. It was careless cricket from a great player whose side needed a sizeable contribution.

From then on it was slaughter. Ben Stokes was beaten for pace, Prior looks devoid of confidence and must be clinging to his place by his fingernails and most of the lower order had neither the stomach nor the ability for the fight with Johnson. He took only one of the wickets of England's top five but, because the tail was exposed to him, he was charged through them with embarrassing ease.

There were a couple of diamonds amid the dust. Carberry saw off the new ball with a solidity that suggested he could prosper at this level, while Bell made it look as if he were playing in a different game to his team-mates with an innings of class and style. And Monty Panesar, despite an obvious lack of ability and a barrage of short balls, showed the courage to move into line and grind it out. It only served to highlight what would have been possible if other, more able, colleagues had shown such pluck and determination.

This pitch, just like the one in Brisbane, is blameless. Yet England have now failed to reach 180 in any of their three innings on this tour and have failed to make 400 for 19 successive innings. They lost 6 for 24 here, just as they had lost 6 for 9 in Brisbane. These are not aberrations; they are the norm. Their batting has failed.

Such failures will bring change. Andy Flower, who has achieved so much as head coach, may well decide he has taken the side as far as he can in his current role. The intensity that once ensured higher levels of performance, now seems to stifle and brood. Ashley Giles, with a lighter touch and a fresh approach, could well be coach by the time England return home. Whether that will represent a change or just a change of name, remains to be seen; Graham Gooch, too, may be nearing the end in his current role: his recent record as batting coach is hardly pretty.

Cricket would not be the captivating sport we love unless it was unpredictable and surprising. But if England claw their way back into this match or this series, it will surely rate as the greatest achievement of the current team's history.

George Dobell is a senior correspondent at ESPNcricinfo

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© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.

Posted by   on (December 10, 2013, 1:06 GMT)

As an English fan, all I can say is that we have been awful with the bat since getting off the plane in Perth 5 weeks ago. These test results aren't purely because of MJ, they are equally (or more so) because we've put in the WORST batting performances in the last 7 years, one after the other. MJ has been sensational, but we've contributed beautifully to the results thus far. Perth is almost impossible for us to win and that's the Ashes passed back to Aus for now.

Posted by CrikiLeaks on (December 9, 2013, 11:55 GMT)

@Mohammad Irfan - you misunderstood me. I was suggesting a draw in Adelaide would be a great achievement for England (up there with the greatest in the history of the game.) Having watched the series in England I certainly wasn't writing Australia off for a loss here in Australia. I was hoping for 2-1 to Australia. (Brisbane, Perth -Aus Sydney- Eng). Australia's attitude has been fantastic, Johnson outstanding and England struggling to adjust to reality.

Posted by Meety on (December 9, 2013, 7:11 GMT)

Its funny - the article is way more demeaning of the England players than anything Warner said in Brisbane. Could it be that Warner was spot on the money?

Posted by humdrum on (December 9, 2013, 6:08 GMT)

If a couple of losses would do this team a world of good,imagine what a 0-5 verdict would do for them--- maybe send them into ecstasy ?

Posted by humdrum on (December 9, 2013, 5:46 GMT)

Why no words of wisdom and sage advice from Sir Iron Bottom ? He has plenty to say when the team is doing well. He should be generous even in bad times.

Posted by WeirPicki on (December 9, 2013, 1:50 GMT)

If England had caught cleanly then it might have ended differently. Australia still has lots of holes in the team - Rogers, Watson, Smith, Bailey.

Posted by LETSCOMPLICATEIT on (December 8, 2013, 20:02 GMT)

Dear GD, This England Team has more metal, a lot tougher and more tenacity than a few losses, as hard as the loss in the first test was. Actually, a couple of losses will do this team a lot of good! I will predict that England will square the series and retain the Ashes! PC

Posted by Slysi on (December 8, 2013, 18:18 GMT)

All the weaknesses that were apparent in the summer brutally exposed here, no surprises really. And no surprise Joe Root led the resistance yesterday a real talent at least. But please a bit more fight in the next matches !!

Posted by   on (December 8, 2013, 9:23 GMT)

@Chris Howard : Respectfully I need to contest a couple of points - Watson is an outstanding batsman as his ODI record tells us. He just isn't an accomplished test batsman, as you implied. Rogers' inconsistency isn't really an issue as he's a stop-gap and I don't think anyone is expecting him to play beyond this series. (The real worry is the bloke waiting in the wings for him!)

There's nothing wrong with Johnson's record on foreign pitches - one of his first away series against South Africa he out-bowled Steyn by a whisker and got Player of the Series, and the English weren't looking untroubled by him in the ODIs. I'd also argue that anyone who's scored a test century against the world's best bowling attack at the time as Mitch also did that series, isn't exactly the tail.

Sadly, where I do agree is that Cricket Australia won't be concerned enough about the obvious hurdles the team needs to overcome - we need a #2, a #5, and a #7 soon at the very least and probably #3.

Posted by Front-Foot-Lunge.. on (December 8, 2013, 9:10 GMT)

@Nick Sharland I tend to agree with the sentiments that a number of our players careers are on the line here. There's no point us resting on past achievements, don't forget a number of these players were here for the last whitewash.

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