Stuart: Michael Holding to open the bowling. Geoffrey Boycott to take strike.

Ash: Holding looks like he means business, Stu.

Stuart: Well, the crowd will be hoping he doesn't inflict any damage this over. They're here to see the great Geoffrey Boycott bat.

Ash: Er, I'm not sure they are, Stu.

Stuart: Boycott rapped on the knuckles there by a fearsome delivery. He survives, much to the crowd's relief.

Ash: I really don't think they're here to watch Boycott, Stu.

Stuart: Of course they are. Don't be ridiculous. They've paid good money to see some straight-batted excellence.

Ash: We're in Bridgetown, Stu.

Stuart: They're discerning people here in Bridgetown, Ash. They know the value of a good, solid forward defensive. And that's beaten Boycott. Boycott beaten outside off.

Ash: Listen to them. They're roaring every delivery.

Stuart: They're encouraging Geoffrey.

Ash: They're baying for blood.

Stuart: Holding through Boycott's defences. Looks like that's caught him on the thigh.

Ash: It's a wave of noise. That's not the noise you make when you're encouraging a batsman.

Stuart: Yes, it is.

Ash: No, it isn't. It doesn't sound like this when Boycott's batting at Headingley. Why would he get more support here in Barbados?

Stuart: Boycott fends that one off. He's having a torrid time. We can only hope he rides it out.

Ash: Why, Stu? Why would he get more support here in Barbados?

Stuart: To answer your question, Ash. Boycott is being given a warmer reception here in the Caribbean because they only get to see him occasionally. They're more appreciative.

Ash: That's demented.

Stuart: No, it isn't. Remember how you felt during the 1979 Lord's Test when there was no battenburg for the first four days?

Ash: I felt hungry.

Stuart: And what did you do when the battenburg arrived on day five?

Ash: I

Stuart: Go on. What did you do?

Ash: I I roared.

Stuart: You did. You roared. You roared your appreciation.

Ash: I love marzipan.

Stuart: And the people of Barbados love Geoffrey Boycott. Boycott defends that one as well. Great reactions. That was a lightning-quick delivery.

Ash: I just think that when you're in the West Indies and the West Indies are playing and the ground's full of West Indians, they're probably supporting the West Indies.

Stuart: You leap to conclusions sometimes.

Ash: Isn't the most obvious explanation often correct?

Stuart: But it's impossible, and as Sherlock Holmes once said: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

Ash: Why is it impossible?

Stuart: Because no one - no one! - no man on earth could possibly fail to appreciate the extraordinary and spellbinding batting of England's Geoffrey Boycott.

Ash: What are they cheering now then, Stu?

Stuart: Er

Ash: They're cheering Geoffrey Boycott's off stump as it careers towards the boundary boards, aren't they, Stu?

Stuart: It was, er It was a brilliant delivery from Holding. As good as you'll see. And Er

Ash: The crowd are definitely louder now, Stu. They're definitely louder. Maybe they're admiring Boycott's walking-to-the-pavilion technique.

Stuart: They know greatness when they see it. Boycott did well to defend two of his stumps there. Few players would have managed that against the bowling we've just seen.