Stuart: Michael Holding to open the bowling. Geoffrey Boycott to take strike.
Ash: Holding looks like he means business, Stu.
Stuart: Well, the crowd will be hoping he doesn't inflict any damage this over. They're here to see the great Geoffrey Boycott bat.
Ash: Er, I'm not sure they are, Stu.
Stuart: Boycott rapped on the knuckles there by a fearsome delivery. He survives, much to the crowd's relief.
Ash: I really don't think they're here to watch Boycott, Stu.
Stuart: Of course they are. Don't be ridiculous. They've paid good money to see some straight-batted excellence.
Ash: We're in Bridgetown, Stu.
Stuart: They're discerning people here in Bridgetown, Ash. They know the value of a good, solid forward defensive. And that's beaten Boycott. Boycott beaten outside off.
Ash: Listen to them. They're roaring every delivery.
Stuart: They're encouraging Geoffrey.
Ash: They're baying for blood.
Stuart: Holding through Boycott's defences. Looks like that's caught him on the thigh.
Ash: It's a wave of noise. That's not the noise you make when you're encouraging a batsman.
Stuart: Yes, it is.
Ash: No, it isn't. It doesn't sound like this when Boycott's batting at Headingley. Why would he get more support here in Barbados?
Stuart: Boycott fends that one off. He's having a torrid time. We can only hope he rides it out.
Ash: Why, Stu? Why would he get more support here in Barbados?
Stuart: To answer your question, Ash. Boycott is being given a warmer reception here in the Caribbean because they only get to see him occasionally. They're more appreciative.
Ash: That's demented.
Stuart: No, it isn't. Remember how you felt during the 1979 Lord's Test when there was no battenburg for the first four days?
Ash: I felt hungry.
Stuart: And what did you do when the battenburg arrived on day five?
Stuart: Go on. What did you do?
Ash: I I roared.
Stuart: You did. You roared. You roared your appreciation.
Ash: I love marzipan.
Stuart: And the people of Barbados love Geoffrey Boycott. Boycott defends that one as well. Great reactions. That was a lightning-quick delivery.
Ash: I just think that when you're in the West Indies and the West Indies are playing and the ground's full of West Indians, they're probably supporting the West Indies.
Stuart: You leap to conclusions sometimes.
Ash: Isn't the most obvious explanation often correct?
Stuart: But it's impossible, and as Sherlock Holmes once said: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Ash: Why is it impossible?
Stuart: Because no one - no one! - no man on earth could possibly fail to appreciate the extraordinary and spellbinding batting of England's Geoffrey Boycott.
Ash: What are they cheering now then, Stu?
Ash: They're cheering Geoffrey Boycott's off stump as it careers towards the boundary boards, aren't they, Stu?
Stuart: It was, er It was a brilliant delivery from Holding. As good as you'll see. And Er
Ash: The crowd are definitely louder now, Stu. They're definitely louder. Maybe they're admiring Boycott's walking-to-the-pavilion technique.
Stuart: They know greatness when they see it. Boycott did well to defend two of his stumps there. Few players would have managed that against the bowling we've just seen.