Accentuate the negative
Eight ways England can stay grounded after their Ashes win
Alex Bowden
20-Sep-2009
Gravity gear: want to get an England cricketer down? Stick him in one-day clothes • Getty Images
Stay in one-day cricket gear
The shorter formats of the game are always guaranteed to bring buoyant England players back down to earth, and so it's proved. This can be further exploited by forcing the players to wear the one-day kit off the field. They call them pyjamas, so use them as such. How could any England player get carried away with success when he's assaulted by horrifying flashbacks of Brett Lee whisking his stumps out of the ground every time he wakes up in the morning?
The shorter formats of the game are always guaranteed to bring buoyant England players back down to earth, and so it's proved. This can be further exploited by forcing the players to wear the one-day kit off the field. They call them pyjamas, so use them as such. How could any England player get carried away with success when he's assaulted by horrifying flashbacks of Brett Lee whisking his stumps out of the ground every time he wakes up in the morning?
Roofed transportation
Out with the open-topped bus, in with ordinary roofed buses - preferably the night bus. Who needs awards ceremonies when you've got the mundane joys of hoping that drunk people don't engage you in conversation on public transport?
Out with the open-topped bus, in with ordinary roofed buses - preferably the night bus. Who needs awards ceremonies when you've got the mundane joys of hoping that drunk people don't engage you in conversation on public transport?
Get the Headingley Test on DVD
No, not that Headingley Test - this year's Headingley Test. England's players could be encouraged to dwell on the Ashes series where they got bowled out for 102 in one of their first innings.
No, not that Headingley Test - this year's Headingley Test. England's players could be encouraged to dwell on the Ashes series where they got bowled out for 102 in one of their first innings.
Negative mental attitude
A significant role is played by the team psychologist these days. He should ensure that all England players adopt a negative mental attitude from now on. Rather than preaching incessant positivity, he should encourage more negativity within the camp. By encouraging a feeling of inferiority and consistently focusing on the negatives, he can make the players hungry for further improvement.
A significant role is played by the team psychologist these days. He should ensure that all England players adopt a negative mental attitude from now on. Rather than preaching incessant positivity, he should encourage more negativity within the camp. By encouraging a feeling of inferiority and consistently focusing on the negatives, he can make the players hungry for further improvement.
Negative visualisation techniques
England's batsmen can stop themselves getting too carried away by their victory by taking some time to carry out negative visualisation before each innings. Thinking about days when they've scored hundreds makes them lazy. Instead, they should think back to all the times they've been clean bowled inexplicably leaving a straight one. Furthermore, by visualising a spooned catch to mid-off in five minutes' time, they remain healthily aware of the dangers that await them. The same applies to bowlers, who should always think back to when they lost their run-up and ended with figures of 0 for 100 against Leicestershire rather than basking in the remembered glory of a Test five-for.
England's batsmen can stop themselves getting too carried away by their victory by taking some time to carry out negative visualisation before each innings. Thinking about days when they've scored hundreds makes them lazy. Instead, they should think back to all the times they've been clean bowled inexplicably leaving a straight one. Furthermore, by visualising a spooned catch to mid-off in five minutes' time, they remain healthily aware of the dangers that await them. The same applies to bowlers, who should always think back to when they lost their run-up and ended with figures of 0 for 100 against Leicestershire rather than basking in the remembered glory of a Test five-for.
Read the papers
Most of England's players claim not to read the papers. Maybe they should.
Most of England's players claim not to read the papers. Maybe they should.
Invite hate mail
The British public can be an appreciative lot. Ask the England players to embrace the celebrity lifestyle and then call for feedback.
The British public can be an appreciative lot. Ask the England players to embrace the celebrity lifestyle and then call for feedback.
Go back to the County Championship
Self explanatory really. It's hard to feel like a world-beater with so little of the world looking on.
Self explanatory really. It's hard to feel like a world-beater with so little of the world looking on.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket