In no particular order, here is what went wrong for Pakistan today - or, a number of things that went less right:
1. Winning the toss The toss-winning side has won only once in the last eight Tests at Headingley. Sarfraz Ahmed had not won a toss since becoming Test captain (in four Tests). This was a bad time to start. Poor form.
b) Batting first after winning the toss Ok, so it wasn't so wrong. At the time Sarfraz won it, it was kind of sunny and the surface did look like there might be some batting in it. And in two of the last five Tests at Headingley when the side winning the toss has batted first, they've won one and lost one.
c) Batting first after winning the toss and batting badly 354, 257, 350, 298, 258, 174: Spot the odd one out.
It's the last one in case you have no idea what those numbers mean. They are the last five first innings totals at Headingley. Win the toss, lose it, bat first, bat second, if you don't bat well it won't matter.
England bowled well. But Imam-ul-Haq, Sarfraz and Usman Salahuddin (no relation to this writer) made classic Pakistani-batsmen-in-swinging-conditions mistakes. Chasing a drive when leaving would have worked well, and aiming through midwicket when playing straight would've worked better.
4. Headingley, wearing an '80s outfit A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Leeds used to be a monster swing ground. You could pitch a ball on a pitch in Sheffield and it would swing back to take middle on the match pitch. Asian batsmen turned up to be shown up.
Then it stopped happening which, of course, climate change.
Today it decided to swing like the 80s. In fact, since Cricviz's records began (from 2006) the only time it has swung more in the first innings of a Headingley Test was in 2013, when New Zealand were in town. England made 354.
5. England caught I know right? They really did (well they dropped one-and-a-half catches).
f) Shadab Khan is batting too low He's not really. He should just be on all lists as a rule.
f) i) The sun All the hours England have put into those sun-harnessing sessions finally paid off.
It was out at the toss so Sarfraz decided to bat. About three seconds after he had made the decision, Joe Root manoeuvred it back behind the clouds. They kept it there till Pakistan were 79 for 7. And then it didn't go back in. Well played England.
8) All fortune used up at Lord's
Pakistan weren't lucky at Lord's. But England did drop more catches than there have been pictures of Harry and Meghan in the last month. And where they somehow managed to not edge deliveries at Lord's, they edged everything here. In the parallel universe of Lord's the delivery that dismissed Asad Shafiq would either have missed his bat, or been dropped by Alastair Cook. Here Cook grasped on to it after the juggle.
Otherwise, and other than the three poor dismissals, they showed pretty much the same judgment they had in Lord's. There they left 65 balls in the first 30 overs. Here they left 57. It's just that the balls didn't leave them.
y) England's batting started well
See no. 5. Or below
z) Universities aren't what they used to be England had gone 13 innings without an opening stand of 50 before Cook and Keaton Jennings got together. Jennings shouldn't have been here if the Open University degree he's studying for had put its foot down and not allowed him to miss an exam to be able to play. He's studying for an accountancy degree by the way and he did kind of bat like he's studying for an accountancy degree.