The last thing I want to do at 54 is spend the rest of my life in jail.
After the first Test, Matthew Hayden has some regrets for having declared he'll run around the MCG naked if Joe Root doesn't get a hundred in the 2025-26 Ashes
He said, 'I've seen the photos and you're wearing them the wrong way'.
Steven Smith gets some help from the OG wearer of anti-glare strips, Shivnarine Chanderpaul
Pink ball, white ball, red ball... I won't use the next word. Who really cares?
In Travis Head's current form, neither the format of the Test, the colour of the ball, or a certain prefix attached to it matters to him one whit
They wouldn't let the umpires take breathalysers on to the field, so if he's [Mitchell Marsh] going to be six or eight beers deep by the time the first ball was bowled, it would make it tricky.
Australia's chief selector George Bailey makes a reference to Marsh's quip about not expecting an Ashes call-up when explaining why he wasn't picked the the squad
I don't think [Usman Khawaja] knows my name, to be honest with you.
Jake Weatherald, Australia's soon-to-be-Test debutant, jokes about whether Khawaja has even heard of his new opening partner
Just the day and age, if it's an unknown number, you just don't answer those things. So, thankfully, I had George's number.
Jake Weatherald might have missed his Test call-up had he not saved selector George Bailey's number
If he farts, it's a headline.
Australia's chief selector George Bailey feels sorry for the scrutiny dropped opener Sam Konstas has to go through during the Ashes build-up
I was hoping it would land on the beach.
Tim David's record 129-metre six in Hobart was actually meant to go farther
Hazlewood breaks more partnerships than Coldplay.
Kerry O'Keefe says Chris Martin has nothing on Josh Hazlewood
I've got tickets for day one and day two. Haven't asked the wife yet. That's about as much thought as I've given it.
Mitchell Marsh responds to whether he's been thinking about being a part of Australia's Ashes squad
Hoff doesn't even say that about our own players! Hoff, what are you doing?
Australia captain Pat Cummins is surprised to hear that his team-mate Josh Hazlewood was being complimentary... about England
Look, I've forgotten a lot about the game, but you guys are pretty good at putting it on the telly at every opportunity possible
It's not easy to wipe the 2017 ODI World Cup semi-final from memory if you're Alyssa Healy
It's actually not an opinion, it's a fact - it's probably the worst Australian team since 2010 when England last won.
The Ashes are upcoming, so naturally shots like these have to be fired. This this time by former England fast bowler Stuart Broad
I was 1 off 5 in a nine-over game, never felt more pressure in my career. Nice to walk off, was about to retire myself.
Mitchell Marsh won't be crying in the rain after the second New Zealand vs Australia T20I was washed out
I'd really like to encourage the Indian fans to show up in their Chennai MS Dhoni shirts because they are yellow.
Australia captain Alyssa Healy has a plan to get some support for her team during their World Cup matches in India
Alyssa brings me back down to earth, telling me, 'It's just one - calm down'.
Mitchell Starc on having won the T20 World Cup once compared to his wife, Alyssa Healy, who is a six-time winner.
I felt bad because he texted me and said he found out through Instagram. Sorry Mitchy!
Mitchell Starc forgot to tell his T20I captain Mitch Marsh that he was retiring from the format
[Shaun Graf said] He drinks, he smokes, he gambles. Shane said, "We'll take him, thanks!"
Aaron Finch talks about how Victoria administrator Graf sold Shane Warne on Finch for the Rajasthan Royals in 2010
I had a very vivid dream last night that I was picked to play the first test at Perth in the Ashes this winter. That was stressful
Steven Finn's nightmares are Ashes-focused
There was talk of cutting [the ball] in half
Scott Boland on a potential method to decide who kept the match ball after Mitchell Starc took six wickets and Boland himself three in the Kingston Test