Andy Zaltzman: 'About as much sense as attempting to climb Mt Everest in a submarine'

Kevin Pietersen has been shown the door by the ECB. A press release is the only document provided by them as an explanation. But is it clear enough? Enter the SubTextrictator 3000

Producer: Suketu Mehta

February 8, 2014

Posted by   on (February 14, 2014, 6:02 GMT)

Although I am mildly dismayed at having to wait for WG Grace's promised observations, I'll accept that there were more pressing matters to discuss, what with that KP fellow and all.

Andy, you remain cricket's finest analyst.

Posted by kepler22b on (February 13, 2014, 5:21 GMT)

You don't have to be an English cricket fan to love the Zaltzone.

As an aussie, I think it was a bizarre decision to get rid of KP and smacks of lily livered leadership. We've got prima donnas too (Warner, Watson) but Boof seems to have sorted them out.

Posted by kompani101 on (February 9, 2014, 23:43 GMT)

At last a cricket guru who has his finger on the pulse, or something similar, of the worlds greatest sport. Good to see a punter grip the neck of the problem and give it a damn good thrashing in the quest for that seldom found snippet of information the others fail to get. A tornado of fresh, nay brass monkeys, air through the honourable world of willow and leather. I doff my cap to your verbal magnificence sir.

Posted by   on (February 9, 2014, 9:33 GMT)

Andy Zaltzman, my hero! Ha ha, brilliant brilliant

Posted by   on (February 8, 2014, 23:23 GMT)

Trust Andy to give an incisive analysis of the KP affair

Posted by Lankan88 on (February 8, 2014, 21:01 GMT)

best thing that was invented since sliced bread! lol good job!

Posted by   on (February 8, 2014, 17:13 GMT)

Andy, Simply very very good!

Posted by   on (February 8, 2014, 16:51 GMT)

Genius!One of the best inventions in cricket history

Posted by tickcric on (February 8, 2014, 6:15 GMT)

SubTextrictator 3000 should stay. What an invention! Zaltz is a comedy genius.

Posted by HenryPorter on (February 8, 2014, 6:03 GMT)

We definitely need real-time Subtextricator3000-derived subtitles for every post-match press conference!

Comments have now been closed for this article

Play Video
England need to better their banter

Aug 6, 2014 Andy Zaltzman gives his take on the outcome of the James Anderson-Ravindra Jadeja hearings and wants England to realise that "personal abuse is so passé" (06:43)

Play Video
Why Ashwin should not be picked

Aug 6, 2014 Andy Zaltzman comes up with an alphabetic and numerical analysis of R Ashwin's overseas record and tries to make a case against his selection for the Old Trafford Test (01:40)

Play Video
Middle order tussle for Proteas

News and Analysis: South Africa may look to shake up the middle order for the second ODI against New Zealand (01:33) | Oct 22, 2014

Play Video
Is the West Indies World Cup under threat?

News and Analysis: ESPNcricinfo senior correspondent George Dobell on the scenarios the West Indies could face if the ICC gets involved in the dispute between the BCCI and WICB (02:34) | Oct 22, 2014

Play Video
'Morning of day two crucial' - Johnson

Press Conference: Australia fast bowler Mitchell Johnson believes quick wickets on day two of the first Test against Pakistan could prove telling with Pakistan set to resume batting on day two at 219 for 4 in their first innings. (01:02) | Oct 22, 2014