Like a certain former England captain, she has a degree in people
My team-mates get to endorse cars, bikes, colas, and that too alongside gorgeous models, while I get to do traffic safety campaigns. Is life fair at all? asks Sore Loser
Endorsements (or soul-selling as it was called in my day) are like finding a date for your ugly cousin so your mum lets you go to the dance with the high-school football captain. You're the ugly cousin here, and I'm afraid the date isn't going to end with a goodnight kiss. And of course life isn't fair. Not when someone who looks like Virat Kohli gets to fool around with pretty young girls in television advertisements while I don't even make it to the Senior Citizens of Boroughbridge Bingo Digest.
All my team-mates wear Ed Hardy t-shirts. My girlfriend hates them and says it's like we're in uniform off the field as well. But I want to be one of the cool ones in the team. What do I do? asks Hardy Boy
Why is Mr Hardy lending his t-shirts to so many of you? And what does he wear? But your problem of "fitting in" is an age-old one, my child. Everyone faces it: schoolchildren, new employees, daughters- and sons-in law, dogs in a new neighbourhood... everyone. The trick is to maintain balance.
Wear Hardy's t-shirt when you're in a discotheque but not when visiting her mum
Wear it when meeting fans not when the selectors have called you to discuss your captaincy chances
Wear it at IPL after-parties but not at the ICC awards
Wear it if she insists you come with her to the beauty salon. That's the last invitation you'll get; Same with meeting her friends.
My coach says I should take samba lessons to improve my footwork. Do you think it's cool for a cricketer to take dance lessons? asks VVS_Laxman_Is_God
Is your coach the director of Mad About Mambo? What a ninny thing to say! Still, I did look it up on the internet and it seems quite a few have tried their hand (or feet) at it. Ramprakash, Gough and Harbhajan Singh even won dance competitions. But do you really want to do something Harbhajan is good at? You may as well preach devil worship to three-year-olds. Just wiggle your toes three times a day instead and you'll soon be called twinkle toes.
A lady came up to me at the hotel, gave me her phone number and said, "Just in case". Should I call her? asks HH
Herschelle, if that's you, take your smut elsewhere. But if it's anyone else, I apologise. However, facts must be faced: it couldn't have been a lady. In my time a lady only gave her number when registering a complaint with the telephone exchange. By all means call her if venereal disease and tabloid stings are "your kinda thing".
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Nana Boycs was speaking to Samantha Pendergrast while in training for the World Speed-Crocheting Championship
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