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Chris Gayle says Chris Gayle says he is sorry

We came across a confusing phone conversation between the West Indies batsman and the WICB chief executive Ernest Hilaire

R Rajkumar

Comments: 15 | Text size: A | A
Chris Gayle shows off his flamboyant new hairstyle, West Indies v India, 5th ODI, Kingston, Jamaica, June 16, 2011
"Chris.com + Gayle.com = awesome-twosome.com" © Associated Press
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Teams: West Indies

"Hello? This is Hilaire."

"Chris Gayle is ready to apologise."

"I'm sorry?"

"He'll do it. Chris Gayle will say he's sorry."

"Oh. That's nice. But we'd really like to hear it from him."

"This is Chris Gayle."

"You are Chris Gayle?"

"I am Chris Gayle."

"Well why didn't you say so? Well go on then. Apologise."

"Chris Gayle is sorry."

"I thought you said you were Chris Gayle!"

"I am Chris Gayle."

"Oh. I'd forgotten about the whole third-person thing. Why do you do that? Anyway look, let's try this again properly, shall we?"

"…"

"Well, go on, say you're sorry."

"Chris Gayle is…"

"You're doing it again! Look, just repeat after me. Ready?"

"Yes."

"I…"

"Chris Gayle…"

"Sigh. Look, just forget it. We'll do it your way. It'll have to do. Go on, say it your way."

"Chris Gayle sorry…"

"Great. Fine. You'll hear back from us."

"… for your mama."

"I'm sorry, Chris, I didn't catch that. Could you repeat that last part?"

"..."

"Let me ask you something. And this is for the record now. The question, Chris, is this: What are you sorry for?"

"Chris Gayle?"

"Yes, what is Chris Gayle sorry for?"

"I don't know. What am I supposed to be sorry for again?"

"…"

"Hello?"

"Damn it, I don't know either. I've forgotten."

"Oh great, now what do we do?"

"I don't know."

"…"

"…"

"Chris Gayle is quite possibly the most destructive West Indies batsman since Viv Richards. You know who said that?"

"Who?"

"Your mama."

"Look, leave my mother out of this."

"A smart woman that. You should talk to her more often. Might drill some sense into you yet."

"Hey..."

"So now the question is…"

"Since when do you talk so much, anyway? I'm confused."

"…given the fact that most people think Chris Gayle is the most destructive batsman since Viv Richards, how do you explain to West Indies fans your seeming lack of willingness to resolve the issue in their best interests?"

"Is this you, Dad? This isn't funny, you know."

"How do you sleep at night?"

"…"

"Dr Hilaire, are you ready to apologise?"

"I... wait, what?"

"The West Indies people need you to apologise, Dr Hilaire. Maybe that's the first step towards resolving this. Come on, wouldn't that be sweet azz?"

"…"

"Just say you're sorry, Hilaire."

"You say it first."

"You say it first. You owe West Indies cricket to back down."

"You owe it to yourself, Chris."

"Okay, on the count of three?"

"Okay."

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three."

"…"

"…"

"What happened?"

"I was waiting for you to apologise."

"I thought we were going to do it together."

"So did I."

"But we didn't."

"Apparently not."

"…"

"You weren't really going to apologise, were you?"

"Nope. You?"

"Nah. Phew, that was close, though!"

"I know. We almost slipped there, didn't we?"

"So we're good?"

"I think so. Want to call it a day and try again tomorrow?"

"For the sake of West Indies cricket?"

"What else?"

"Sweet…"

"…AZZ!"

(laughter)

"Aw, you complete me."

"You had me at hello."

R Rajkumar hopes that writing about cricket helps justify his watching it as much as he does to the people in his life who wonder where the remote control's disappeared to.
All quotes and "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?

Tell us what you think. Send us your feedback

© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.

Comments: 15 
Posted by lucky_oye on (November 25, 2011, 19:18 GMT)

Chris Gayle says this is funny. This is ChrisGayle.

Posted by lokesh.agarwal on (November 25, 2011, 4:00 GMT)

haha.. nice one.... this was a good laugh.. "How do you sleep at night?"

"…"

"Dr Hilaire, are you ready to apologise?"

"I... wait, what?"

Posted by IndianSiva on (November 25, 2011, 3:29 GMT)

@rmaganti - that is the fun part and a not-so-obvious-humour. It is intentional and not an oversight.

Instead of Chrisg G saying I am sorry. He says, Chris G says he is sorry. And hence the title - Chris G says, Chris G says he is sorry ...

Hope you get it.

Posted by eristhee on (November 24, 2011, 23:00 GMT)

This dialogue is just too funny.I really needed the laughter which enabled me to forget all my worries for a moment. I do look for to continue reading the continuation as I hope it does not stop here.We West Indian fans would dearly love to see the return of Chris Gayle the entertainer, as he has won matches single handedly for us. R Rajkumar you got to keep writing or else we will complain at only receiving 1/4 of the saga.Please........ continue........

Posted by rmaganti on (November 24, 2011, 12:48 GMT)

The converstaion may be funny, but the title of the post appears funnier. Chris Gayle says repeated twice??? Oops....

Posted by Rohithzhere on (November 24, 2011, 12:05 GMT)

If every conversation beween Gayle and the board is this funny, they better continue on their own terms :P

Posted by windiesyouth.12 on (November 24, 2011, 12:02 GMT)

hahahaha....lmao....dis is too funny

Posted by serious-am-i on (November 24, 2011, 11:52 GMT)

lolz that was hilarious, nice one Raj

Posted by AtticusFinch on (November 24, 2011, 11:43 GMT)

LOL! . . . Really funny, especially the ending and the Jerry McGuire lines . .. .

Posted by CricIndian9 on (November 24, 2011, 11:10 GMT)

"Aw, you complete me." "You had me at hello." Legendary!!! Hahahahaha....

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