This, that and the other. Mostly the other
Pakistan board not to seek revenues from India series
In return for being considered at all, the PCB has effectively gone on record to state that they are willing to forfeit their share of the revenue from the proposed series against India. But they haven't stopped there. As an added goodwill gesture, the PCB has reportedly also promised the BCCI that Pakistan players will not appeal for lbws during the series. "We're looking at the bigger picture here," said a spokesman for the PCB philosophically. "What money and lbws we lose out on during the India tour is only short term, and both should be recouped if and when Bangladesh decide to visit us."
India v Sri Lanka greater than England v South Africa
Forget the hype of England v South Africa. Discerning cricket fans willing to be honest with themselves will have no trouble admitting that it is the India v Sri Lanka series that offers the more significant contest out there right now. The two sides have played each other so much in recent times that watching them play has become an act of perversity, so much so that for cricket fans it is the only real challenge left remaining. Besides, what could be more interesting than watching two teams sick to death of each other attempt to rise above their ennui and boldly go where far too many men have already gone before? India v Sri Lanka is the only series that could justifiably claim to make sadomasochists of us all. As progressive fans of the modern game, we should all welcome the challenge instead of bemoaning it.
Indian archers to go full-Ganguly
Indian archers at the Olympics have threatened to take their shirts off at Lord's and wave them around their heads should they win a medal at the games, in homage to Sourav Ganguly's semi-nude heroics after that famous win against England at the same venue. Ganguly's scrawny, bird-like chest has over the years come to be the definitive image of the new spirit of aggression and competitiveness in Indian sport. Which is probably all you need to know about why Indian athletes struggle to win medals at the Games.
More parents encouraging children to get sleeve tattoos
More and more parents these days are encouraging their children to get sleeve tattoos at increasingly younger ages, in the hopes of boosting their chances of becoming professional cricketers. "Everyone knows that the secret to getting a headstart towards representing your country, or better yet, an IPL franchise, is by getting a sleeve tattoo," said a proud parent of a six-year-old boy who had just finished getting a tattoo of a screaming eagle engulfed by the flames of hell across his underdeveloped bicep. "But this isn't to suggest that we don't like to keep him grounded and aware of the long journey ahead," said the father reassuringly, as he ruffled his child's hair. "My son knows that getting this tattoo is just the beginning, and that there is a lot of hard work left yet.
"Yes, he'll have to come back for a few more sessions before he can even begin to think of attaining the level of complexity and layered meaning that Jade Dernbach's tattoo has."
BCCI comes to the aid of struggling Sachin
Who says the BCCI doesn't take care of its own? The board has to be commended for coming to the aid of senior cricketer Sachin Tendulkar in his hour of need by announcing that the cash-strapped batsman would be compensated for any IPL matches missed due to injury sustained while playing for India. "It's a nice feeling to finally be recognised for all the hard work over the years, and to relax knowing that my family and I aren't going to die of starvation anytime soon," said a relieved Sachin. "I've also been assured that a benefit match will be organised for me anytime I request it," he added. Kapil Dev, on the other hand, still isn't receiving his pension from the BCCI. But then again, why should he? It's not like he plays in the IPL.
Commentators cautioned for talking too much cricket
The commentators in the ongoing India-Sri Lanka series have been pulled up by their bosses - who are also the sponsors of the series - for talking too much cricket. "The contracts stipulate that commentators should balance their boundless zeal for describing the advertised cars, massive cutouts of smartphones, and the odd motorbike or two with some token small talk about the game at hand," said a representative for the broadcaster. "But the sponsors have complained about instances where commentators have sneakily tried to talk at unnecessary length about the game, especially when a wicket has been taken or a six hit. While we understand that commentators need to look after their own active interest in the game at the expense of constantly looking for opportunities for fattening their wallets, we ask that they do so in a less obvious manner. We are happy to report that they have all readily complied with our request."
R Rajkumar tweets here
All quotes and some "facts" in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?
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