Australia and declare in the same sentence

After all that went on Day 1, everyone could have done with a good start to the second day. Especially the umpires.

Umpires have successfully made their way to the middle. So that's an encouraging start. #Ashes

— Richard Hinds (@rdhinds) August 2, 2013

The Australians kicked off proceedings swimmingly too. Michael Clarke and Steve Smith were untroubled in the early exchanges.

There we are - this @MClarke23-@stevesmith49 partnership has reached 53.4 overs, longer than Aus' entire 1st inns at Lord's (53.3o). #ashes

— Jesse Hogan (@Jesse_Hogan) August 2, 2013

Hang on, Australia are making batting look this easy? Surely, it must have something to do with the pitch.

This pitch has more bald patches than a Jethro Tull concert #Ashes

— Steve Cannane (@SteveCannane) August 2, 2013

That pitch is going to look like a scene from a civil war by day 5! #Ashes #bbcCricket

— Payal (@Payal_Lahoti) August 2, 2013

The overnight pair negotiated the first hour quite well.

Idea for drinks break: wagons pulled by sled dogs. It could work. #Ashes

— Lynn (@callaway213) August 2, 2013

Smith threw it away, though, swiping across the line with a century for the taking. Not the smartest shot in the circumstances.

"He's an absolute muppet. There's more brains in a chocolate mouse." - Boycott's definitive verdict on Smith's dismissal.

— Dan Quarrell (@Dan_Eurosport) August 2, 2013

Enter David Warner on Ashes debut. And in his first outing in England since the walkabout incident. The crowd welcomed him in expected fashion.

English crowd welcoming Warner with a chorus of booze. #Ashes

— Not David Warner (@notdavidwarner) August 2, 2013

A boo of that magnitude deserves an innings of 34 runs with mishits and edges.

— Jarrod Kimber (@ajarrodkimber) August 2, 2013

Trust an Australian to make even the English put aside county rivalries.

Normally in Manchester they cheer people to the crease who punch Yorkshiremen!

— The Middle Stump (@TheMiddleStump) August 2, 2013

Warner departed soon in curious fashion, edging Graeme Swann to slip via Matt Prior's pad, and then reviewing the original decision. No luck. Out.

David Warner's review using skills are right up there with his understanding of social decorum.

— Aatif Nawaz (@AatifNawaz) August 2, 2013

Now I know what Warner meant when he said he didn't hit Root

— Derek Alberts (@derekalberts1) August 2, 2013

The DRS is not working as an umpiring mechanism. But it seldom fails as an intelligence test. #Ashes #Warner

— Richard Hinds (@rdhinds) August 2, 2013

Brad Haddin played the sort of innings Australia might have expected from Warner. He was positive from the outset, and quickly wrested back initiative lost on account of the two quick wickets. The wicketless Jimmy Anderson bore the brunt.

Haddin should offer Anderson his bat so he can raise it for reaching a fantastic century, 0/104. #ashes

— Tiger_Benchy (@tiger_benji) August 2, 2013

After bowling more than 50 overs in pursuit of his 200th Test wicket, Stuart Broad removed Michael Clarke, 13 short of his own 200.

With that Broad wicket, Graeme Swann can no longer equal Jim Laker's 19 Old Trafford wickets in 1956! #Ashes

— David Tossell (@David_Tossell) August 2, 2013

And you wonder why Broad doesn't have too many fans.

Swann dismissed Peter Siddle cheaply to complete his five-for in an innings where England often looked like a one-man attack.

No Swann, no England! Send Warner for a beer with him tonight. #Ashes

— Mick Rajek (@Howla955) August 2, 2013

The wicket brought no joy for England. Mitchell Starc waded into the tiring attack, and put on some quick runs in Haddin's company.

Not sure why Siddle bats above Starc. Then again, not sure why Watson or Warner do either #ashes

— David Brown (@diogenesbrown) August 2, 2013

Alas, these days there's no room for optimism in Australian cricket.

Three times Aus have lost a Test after scoring 500+ in the first match inns. #notoutofthewoodsyet

— Ric Finlay (@RicFinlay) August 2, 2013

No because that's against the law RT @theoldbatsman: Anyone mentioned Adelaide yet?

— Elizabeth (@legsidelizzy) August 2, 2013

At 527 for 7, Clarke called his batsmen in giving England nearly a full session to play before stumps.

"Australia" and "declare". Didn't expect to be hearing those words in such close proximity this summer #Ashes

— Chris Broadbent (@FiveRingsComms) August 2, 2013

I thought the only time I'd hear an Australia say "Declare would be Lehman...under his breath...as England chalked up another 300. #ashes

— Felicity Ward (@felicityward) August 2, 2013

England began in jittery fashion. Nathan Lyon was into the attack early, and got Alastair Cook to edge an offbreak. It hit Haddin's pad, popped up precariously and then dropped short of a lunging Clarke at slip, who took an extra instant to move towards the ball.

Micheal Clarke has the weight of Australian cricket. #TheAshes

— Adrian Kivumbi. (@JustAdree) August 2, 2013

Warner consoling Clarke. "Don't think he hit it, skip."

— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) August 2, 2013

Lyon came on. Shane Watson trundled in. Someone was feeling left out.

Peter Siddle is naked at mid off dancing a hungarian jive trying to get Clarke's attention.

— Jarrod Kimber (@ajarrodkimber) August 2, 2013

Watson did a good job, tying up Root with a series of maidens.

34 dot balls in a row for Root. They should wave a card with '0' on for every dot he plays.

— Fred Boycott (@FredBoycott) August 2, 2013

5 overs, 5 maidens, this is why Australia won't drop Watson #ashes He is notably good for the Australian economy #haha

— Anthony Evans (@SolaceSystem) August 2, 2013

Shane Watson has so far conceded one run for every friend he has in this Australian team. #Ashes

— Charlie Reynolds (@thesportsfox) August 2, 2013

The pressure finally paid off, with Joe Root edging Siddle behind.

Broad's first words to Root in the dressing room: mate, why did you walk? #ashes

— Gabriel Pizani (@pizgab) August 2, 2013

England sent out Tim Bresnan as nightwatchman. That didn't work out. Cue, the second instance of DRS comedy for the day. Bresnan was ruled out caught behind. He chose not to review it. Replays showed it was no where near batm and went off his trousers.

Bresnan right to walk, Dharmasena thought that was run out.

— Jarrod Kimber (@ajarrodkimber) August 2, 2013

Cook wasn't at his best, but hung in there as England shut shop for the day.

Warner almost runs Cook out. The England skipper has been scratchier than an eczema-suffering Labrador, but he's still in.

— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) August 2, 2013

England finished the day 475 runs behind. Another day dominated by Australia. Who knows where this could be going.

Drink, laugh and be merry cos tomorrow you gotta watch Cook and Trott bat

— Monish (@Crownish) August 2, 2013