Bazball finds its final resting place at the MCG

In the end, the winning runs came off Harry Brook's backside.

That's not all that needs to be said about England's first Test win in Australia since January 2011. But it's a hell of a place to start.

"Oh what's he done?!" exclaimed Jonathan Agnew on Test Match Special when Brook charged his first ball on Friday, having arrived at 8 for 3. How poetic, then, was it for the Test vice-captain to get it done, with a rushed 18 not out before his rear had the final word.

Agnew has been around the journey of this ride and still doesn't quite get it. That's not to say he should have to or needs to. He has been consistent in his belief that Bazball would not work in the Ashes. He was not alone, and that sentiment was the prevailing one in Australia from the get-go. And they were right. England lost it within 11 days.

But on the 13th day, and probably the 12th as well when you consider Brook's road rage 41 in England's car crash first innings of 110, it did.

For what? Well, a consolatory win that will annoy Australia more than it will nourish the victors.

The MCG curator Matt Page is being put up for media on what would have been day three of this statement piece in the international calendar. If he has any sense of humour, he should rock up with 2-3mm shaved off his head.

As the Barmy Army kept singing well after the final delivery had skipped over the fine leg sponge, this felt like something of a throwback win. The LED banner separating the tiers they occupied in the Shane Warne Stand read "ENGLAND WIN", which had the vibe of the final scene in the original Jurassic Park, when the T-Rex roars among chaos, the banner "DINOSAURS ONCE RULED THE EARTH" framing it perfectly on its way to the ground.

England never ruled here, of course, but they have had moments. And just as it was getting to feel like that win in Sydney for a 3-1 overseas Ashes success came in the time before time, this win cased in amber, might stir future generations to something they could (or should) do and replicate this untamable band of cricketers.

Who knows what The New Year Test will bring? But it's worth realising that Saturday was as Bazball as it used to get. A proper 2022 vintage of carefree blokes with cavalier mindsets, starting to feel themselves having found themselves. Moreover, those in the crowd believed in them.

That and the following summer were the closest English Test cricket has ever come to darts. And if that's not for you, then fine. But here they were on the other side of the world, standing up because they loved the cricket and, for an afternoon, were back in love with this team.

Those were the days at the beginning of this all. When Brendon McCullum's power was at its newest, Ben Stokes at his most holistic and a group of players at their most impressionable. Bombastic times were had. They chased anything and everything; 277, 299 and 296 against New Zealand, a record of 378 against India before closing out the summer with 130 against South Africa.

They trained and, just like us, they lived. The blurry video of most of the team in Nottingham's Mega Munch after sealing the New Zealand series, embarking on a drunken daisy chain of kebabs, chicken burgers and chips was endearing. The dark teal bucket hats that followed as the vibe spilled into the 2023 home summer became a staple and must-have accessory. Maybe it's nothing, but Brook - the leading run-scorer for the match - brought his back for the lead-in to this Test. Maybe there was magic in them peaks.

Importantly, they were winning; six of those seven Tests that summer, and 13 out of 18 in the first 18 months. They have not come close to replicating those results these last months, which is why their Everyman qualities have jarred.

On the field, they botched Perth - 105 ahead, one down in their second innings after lunch on day two - and then underscored in their Brisbane first innings before going into their shells in Adelaide. The endearing streaks had been wiped away by a superior Australia. Naturally, views of their movements off the field have switched.

The four-day break to Noosa remains a sticking point. And there is every right for England fans - either here or back home - to query the professionalism of the team. The videos that emerged are only snapshots. But extrapolate that for a tour that began at the start of November, and throw in a poor warm-up match ahead of the series and a coach bemoaning "over-preparation" for the second Test before the Noosa trip, and it is not unreasonable to surmise that, perhaps, this Ashes did not have the required amounts of seriousness.

Stokes and McCullum have different views on that. But there is something to be said for a couple of the protagonists who have found themselves short-lensed from the clips that have emerged.

Ben Duckett, with the most ire directed at him, found his way back to his own impish manner without the need for an Uber or the nets. Instead, he took a deep breath and delved deeper into his box of tricks, at times pulling out too many to use at once.

Sometimes fight looks like a bloke thrashing wildly. Sometimes nous is getting in harm's way to ramp a ball for six over the keeper because that's where the fielders aren't. Sometimes bravery is thinking "ah well, what do I have to lose?" and accessing the far reaches of nonsense to help wipe off 51 from a run chase of 175 by the end of the seventh over.

Jacob Bethell strode in and made all the right shapes, suggesting it was fun to bat at the M...CG. His 40 was the top score of a chase that constantly needed managing, like a weary lost mate outside the club, and he provided a sense of calm that was uncomfortable given the lateness of his arrival as England's designated No.3.

Even the fact he actually came out at four in the second innings was a throwback to the old "anything goes" Bazball days. Nighthawk, anyone?

In the final throes of Australia's innings, Stokes wondered if the value play in a low run chase was to chuck in a bowler up the order to dash a few before the tea break. He initially thought about Gus Atkinson, before realising Atkinson had spent so long off the field with his hamstring injury that he could not bat higher than No.8. So he settled on his mate Brydon Carse.

Carse did not nail it. But 6 off 8 - specifically the 14 minutes in the middle - gave Bethell a bit of grace, as well as knocking everyone else down a spot. And, who knows, maybe it weirded Australia out a bit. "What's Brydon Carse doing at first drop? I need a fly slip".

A word for the OG Nighthawk here, by the way. Maybe Stuart Broad was right when he said this Australia side was the worst since 2010/11. And for his old man; leg byes mean Chris Broad remains the last England batter to strike the winning runs in an overseas Ashes victory. The seven in between that and this were sealed with the ball.

There are serious points to be made, even at a time of relief. Should it have taken so long to see Bethell for the player he is? His lack of cricket, including warming the bench at the IPL, has stymied his development and England's decision on whether to stick or twist with Ollie Pope. He heads into the New Year, off his fourth first-class match of 2025, restating his standing as England's golden boy.

As for the batting approach, parts of this - maybe not all of it - have been lacking throughout the series. The clarity that came among the chaos felt unique to the likes of Duckett and Brook, who have been two lynchpins of the best of this side since they lined up alongside one another in the 2022 winter on that tour of Pakistan. But the function of the whole - lest we forget Zak Crawley's 37 off 48 - showed in this crapshoot.

Compare and contrast what happened over these two days to the two-and-a-bit from the 2021-22 Boxing Day Test. On a similar MCG surface, England were rolled for 185 in their first innings in 65.1 overs - three more than they faced in total here, across both innings, for 288 for 16. Add in the Scott Boland ravaged second innings from four years ago and that's 258 for 20 in 92.5 overs. Apples and oranges stuff.

Steven Smith saying: "I think the guy with the most success on that wicket, it was probably Harry Brook, running down the wicket, playing some rogue shots," felt a bit like Leonardo da Vinci admitting that, actually, the Mona Lisa would look funnier with a mustache. A traditional sort, even with his flourishes, seeing the lighter side had something of note for a pursuit he has dedicated his life to trimming.

It is hard to know how much to truly take from this Test match, and not just down to the Russian Roulette nature of the surface. There are personnel to persist with, but there always were. Players, administrators and coaches have survived the previous whitewashes and 4-0s. At the same time, aspects of this victory highlight how disappointing the previous three Tests had been. They did have a shot at something tangible when this series was live, and they botched it.

If anything, this felt like an apt closure for Bazball. It might have died, but the body was at risk of being pulled apart for the benefit of its detractors.

They used to hide the body of martyrs, even chop them up and scatter the pieces to far flung reaches to ensure there was no one resting ground for followers to return to. Having picked apart bits of it across Perth, Brisbane and Adelaide, Melbourne and then Sydney were due their pounds of flesh.

But now, the MCG has unwittingly become a resting place. A historic ground, a blue ribband event, desecrated by the rogue shots, the white tees, the silver chains, vapes and the McCullum "Bazbox" which was being taken into the away dressing room to crank up the tunes as Smith was giving his post-match press conference.

You see the real reason for the dismembering was to ensure there was no spot for people to pay respects and, worst still, take inspiration and vow to go one better with those ideologies. And at the very least, future England teams, regardless of how they choose to play their cricket, will be bound to this colosseum as one a previous England violated just to feel something.

Not a brilliant team. Certainly not a team with the brightest of futures at this juncture. But an imperfect team, on an imperfect pitch in an imperfect series, who were true to the imperfections that made them believe this Ashes would be different.