England's new regime: what's different
It's not all the same between Peter Moores' previous stint and this one, if you wondered
Some people have been concerned that the reappointment of Peter Moores as England cricket supremo represents a backward step. Not so. It will all be very different this time.
Previous Moores regime: Coach proved himself unable to deal with star players.
New Moores regime: Not going to be a problem because England no longer have any.
Previous Moores regime: One-size-fits-all approach to training.
New Moores regime: Each individual player can choose the colour of cones he will be running around 100 times a day while being shouted at.
Previous Moores regime: Meaningless management speech.
New Moores regime: Speech de-meaninglessified vis a vis new management communicational paradigm. Going forward.
Previous Moores regime: England cricket paymasters bending over backwards to get in bed with dodgy American moneymen.
New Moores regime: England cricket paymasters bending over backwards to get in bed with dodgy Indian moneymen.
Previous Moores regime: Andy Flower probably pulling the strings behind closed doors.
New Moores regime: Andy Flower probably pulling the strings behind closed doors.
Previous Moores regime: English cricket doing everything possible to maximise commercial revenues and establish itself as a major moneymaking enterprise with series of major deals.
New Moores regime: Still a work in progress, but English cricket has changed Official Team England Mineral Water Partner.
Previous Moores regime: Growing concern about the very large number of back-room staff in the England "bubble".
New Moores regime: Full-time role for Bubble out of Big Brother as specialist team sun-hat consultant with possible consultancy work for Reni of the Stone Roses on an ad hoc basis if further sun-hat expertise is required.
Previous Moores regime: Feeling around the team that Ian Bell is finally ready to step up and provide the leadership that his experience and talent have long promised.
New Moores regime: Feeling around the team that Ian Bell is finally ready to step up and provide the leadership that his experience and talent have long promised.
Previous Moores regime: Unpleasant and undignified jettisoning of men who have been great servants to English cricket.
New Moores regime: Goochie relieved of batting-coach duties during frying-an-egg demonstration in Waitrose for sponsor's junket.
Previous Moores regime: Everything was Pietersen's fault.
New Moores regime: Everything will be Pietersen's fault.
Alan Tyers is the author of WG Grace Ate My Pedalo and more. www.tyersandbeach.com
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