The Heavy Ball

Warnie tells Lizzie

After Shane Warne's disappointing Big Bash debut, the stars collide via the modern language of love and mutual profile-enhancement, Twitter

Liz Hurley's eyes light up as she spies a whatchamacallit in the distance  Getty Images

@LizzyHurley: Luvvd seeing @Warnie doing his cricket playing today.

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@Warnie: Thanks babe. U were looking well hot LOL. Good work with the tossing ha ha ha.

@LizzyHurley: Shane! You'll make my parrot blush.

@Warnie: I meant flipping that coin at the beginning before the match?

@LizzyHurley: Oh ya… Erm… me too. I assume holding onto that was part of my appearance fee?????

@Warnie: Oh yeah fair dinkum. It's a short career and u have to take care of your family when you can.

@LizzyHurley: So did u win? I saw you do the bit where you bowl the ball and a man kept hitting it into the crowd?

@Warnie: Oh yeah, David Warner. Yeah… um… he loses loads of points for hitting the ball like that. The mongrel.

@LizzyHurley: Yes lots of the people around me were saying: "Your finished Warner you should have stayed in the tv box"

@Warnie: Yeah that must have been it.

@LizzyHurley: Apparently at some cricket ball games u have a break for lunch and tea?

@Warnie: Not me Liz. I know the rules. A handful of pocket lint for breakfast, a delicious lung full of air for lunch and a proper dinner.

@LizzyHurley: Of what?

@Warnie: Sigh. A proper dinner of a glass of water with a tasty ice cube salad (hold the salad)

@LizzyHurley: That's my boy xx

@Warnie: I got to go. Feeling a bit faint. Have to practice getting my bowls hit into the crowd again 4 the next match.

@LizzyHurley: Go get 'em tiger.

@Warnie: Are u coming 2 watch next game 2?

@LizzyHurley: Sorry no. Am at Stuart MacGill's launch of his new womenswear Fall Collection. Going with Karl Lagerfeld and Simon Katich.

@Warnie: You not serious?

@LizzyHurley: No course not. Katich and Lagerfeld HATE each other. Catfight lol!!

@Warnie: Lol that would be Katto. And Lagero. Nite babe xxx

@LizzyHurley: Nite hun. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. x

@Warnie: I'm so hungry. I could murder a bed bug.

Shane WarneAustraliaBig Bash League

More Anglo-Australian love in CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries, by Tyers and Beach

All quotes and "facts" in this piece are made up, but you knew that already, didn't you?