'Never discuss cheese with rats or talk bread with birds'

This week's Twitter round-up mostly centres on getting up early. You may think that cricketers do this because they're productive, successful, driven people. In reality, it's usually just that they've forgotten to change their alarm clock or something.

The dish

If you eat meat, it's important to remember that animals don't come in delicious head-free form.

The early morning fitness regime

Two key points here: One, "contemplating" isn't the same as "doing". Two, "still in bed" isn't the same as "up early".

Here's how you get up early.

The joke

An astronaut. Might not work in your accent.

The practical joke

It's our annual clown festival here in Lahore. Everyone is dressed as a clown and only people dressed as clowns will be allowed to enter. Pack accordingly.

The film review

Life with Kemar Roach

Brace yourself for some serious ups and downs. It is ALL GO in the world of Kemar Roach…

Relentless excitement. His liberal use of capital letters and exclamation marks is entirely justified. He doesn't say how early his run was, though. Bet it wasn't 4.15am early.

The wild side
Saqlain Mushtaq's living it large as well.

Rock and roll.

What's your philosophy?
Three pieces of advice this week…

Three catchy, memorable pieces of advice, each of which would make any sane person groan.

Jet-lag Watch
Somewhere in the world, there is always a cricketer complaining about jet-lag.

It's hard to know what to do when this happens.

You could lie there thinking about going for a run. Or why not get in one of your five a day?