'Sarah Taylor, can u teach me how to bat?'
A coaching plea, football sledges, and the true meaning of 24-hour shopping, in this week's Twitter round-up
The cry for help
Kevin Pietersen is looking forward to the many Ashes series that are coming up.
Come on, Kev. It isn't that bad. There's no reason to attempt suicide.
The plea
Ramnaresh Sarwan was watching England Women v India Women.
"Sarah Taylor, can u teach me how to bat please!"
@ronniesarwan
The catastrophe
Nottinghamshire's Riki Wessels had to deal with disaster.
"Always disappointing dropping your biscuit in your tea #teafishing"
@RikiWessels
Serves you right. Biscuits have no place near tea. They are a dry food and they should be kept that way. Drink responsibly.
The footballers
MS Dhoni thinks Yuvraj Singh is a limited footballer.
However, Yuvraj was equally critical of Dhoni's approach to the game.
"@msdhoni hahahaha atleast I pass the ball with my left leg"
To be honest, they both sound like prima donnas. The team would be nothing without Sachin Tendulkar's harrying in midfield and the big number nine, Ishant Sharma, holding the ball up.
The Wimbledon outsider
Steven Finn claims he has a few tennis skills.
The match report
Nathan Bracken missed Australia's loss to England in the second one-day international.
"Can someone please tell me what happened last night AUSvENG"
@NBRACKEN142
It sounds like his followers had strong feelings about it.
"Wow some very honest responses. Looks like we need to improve."
The water boy
Stuart Meaker gave a good account of himself during that match.
The celebrations
Two of the beneficiaries were pretty emotional after the win. Stuart Broad was pulling out all the stops.
"Amazing win Vs Australia at Lords today! Celebrating in a pretty rock n roll way- Million Pound Drop and a hot chocolate!"
@StuartBroad8
And so was Jimmy Anderson.
"@StuartBroad8 I've gone Die Hard and a Krispy Kreme! Watch out!"
@JimmyAnderson9
The film title
Derbyshire's Tony Palladino got a bit confused at the cinema.
"In the cinema about to watch spiderman and there's a man here wearing a full spiderman costume #diehard"
@APalladino
No, Tony - Spiderman. It was Jimmy Anderson who was watching Die Hard.
The opening hours
Marcus North was unaware of the UK's Sunday trading laws.
"Just turned up to a 24hr ASDA and they are closed? #shambles"
@Marcus_North
24/6, baby.
The stock
Ed Cowan's shopping experience was equally unsuccessful.
"Bris airport: sort it out. I can buy frozen abalone but not a toothbrush."
@eddiecowan
They only stock the essentials, Ed.
The kit
Ravi Bopara sustained an inexplicable minor injury.
"Manage to stab myself in the leg with a scalpel which was sticking out of my cricket bag."
@ravibopara
This does beg the question why there was a scalpel in his kit bag.
What's your philosophy?
Manoj Tiwary this week.
"Competitors take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves. Quitters take bad breaks & use them as reasons to give up"
@tiwarymanoj
Of course they do. They wouldn't be able to call themselves quitters otherwise. They'd be a disgrace to the quitter name were they to persevere in the face of adversity.
Getting to know God
Sachin Tendulkar: last sighted on 17th June 2012. Have we lost him? Has he got a collar and a name tag? Maybe we should print 'Have you seen this man?' signs and paste them around the neighbourhood along with a phone number. Someone might get in touch. We just want to know that he's okay really.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket
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