The Heavy Ball

'If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then you are wrong'

For shame, you folks who discriminate against aquatic beings

Don't be surprised if Ishant Sharma asks for an on-field shoe-shine. He's pretty picky about his footwear  AFP

Cricketers, eh? They live wild, unpredictable lives. This week we learn of a cricketer who has eaten something other than chicken, get in-depth reviews of the major cities of Australia from a West Indian fast bowler and discover which soft drink is difficult to come by in New Zealand. Brace yourselves. It's going to be a wild ride.

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The major development
A big day for Lancashire's Simon Kerrigan.

"Ate cheese"
@Kegs10

That is definitely worth remarking upon and the information was so efficiently conveyed as well.

The purpose
What does Kemar Roach live for?

"Live To Make My Enemies Weak! #Realist"
@KemarAJR

It's good to have a hobby.

The border dispute
Luke Wright had to concede defeat in the battle for a key strategic location.

"Have to congratulate the person next to me on the plane in the battle for the middle armrest! Never gave me a look in! Ruthless!"
@lukewright204

The trip
Ishant Sharma's got to catch a flight.

"Once again I would like to confirm that I m not injured. Jus going Aus to get my insoles. Avoid the rumors."
@ImIshant

That's an awful long way to go for orthotics. Could they not post them?

The prisoner
Graham Onions is trapped.

"I've been wanting to go to the shops for eggs all day but I refuse to get in my car as my built in sat nav is Australian"
@BunnyOnions

Realistically, starving and dying is the only option.

The switch
Ross Taylor's a Pune Warriors man, through and through.

"Will change my profile later :). #PuneWarriors"
@RossLTaylor

Except for his Twitter profile - that still says Delhi Daredevils. He should probably just leave it blank. It'll save changing it again next year.

The trendsetter
Alex Hales has been struggling with an unusual request.

"Has blackcurrant cordial made it over to New Zealand yet? Asked for it in three different places, none of them even heard of it!" @AlexHales1

Be patient. Blackcurrant cordial is scheduled for release in New Zealand in 2030.

Life with Kemar Roach
Thinking of visiting Australia? Go to Kemar Roach for in-depth tourist information.

"Sydney! #Sweetazz"

"Melbourne Looks Nice!"

"Beautiful Morning In Brisbane!"

Can't wait to hear about Adelaide.

The film review
Chris Tremlett watched Taken 2.

"Taken 2.. pretty average.."
@ChrisTremlett33

What's your philosophy?
Manoj Tiwary.

"Everybody is gifted.. But if u judge a fish by its ability 2 climb a tree, den u r wrong .. Accept people as they r !!! Brahmakumaris"
@tiwarymanoj

If a fish can climb a tree, I think it's okay to be at least a little impressed.

Nando's Watch
Jesse Ryder's been meeting up with old friends.

"Good catch up with @Martyguptill @RossLTaylor 2nite. Nandos got owned."
@DijaRyder

Literally? Have you bought a franchise? That would be the logical next step for a bunch of cricketers looking to invest. Although be warned - stories are starting to come in hinting that some of your fellow players are starting to experiment with dairy products.

If you have splashed out, you might want to think about stocking blackcurrant cordial for your more demanding diners, while a delivery service would prevent housebound players from having to endure the sound of an Aussie saying: "In 200 metres, turn left."

Manoj TiwaryAlex HalesIshant SharmaRoss TaylorJesse RyderLuke WrightChris TremlettGraham OnionsKemar RoachSimon Kerrigan

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket