'Mango pickle, tomato pickle, garlic pickle, they're all good'

This week on Twitter, we learn how Chris Gayle sees himself, how Matthew Hayden spends his free time, how Lou Vincent's passing his retirement and how Dale Steyn measures fun. There's also the intriguing mystery of Kemar Roach's lost hour.

The fence-sitter
Matthew Hayden's so afraid of offending people, he won't even commit to a favourite pickle.

"Mango Pickle, Lime Pickle, Garlic Pickle, Tomato Pickle they are all good."
@HaydosTweets

But which is best, Matthew? Commit to a firm position on this issue.

The job title
For his Twitter bio, Chris Gayle has decided to go with "World Boss" and nothing more.

The ladies' man
Mitch Marsh is getting flashbacks.

"Usually it's hard to shut cab drivers up, my driver is giving me absolutely nothing, it reminds me of when I talk to any female. #nochat"
@mitchmarsh235

Maybe you should stop asking women to drive you places all the time.

The rhyming dictionary
Graeme Smith has a challenge for us.

"Who can say ram slam glam cam 3 times fast.........."
@GraemeSmith49

No, but I can say "Why?" very slowly and deliberately.

The self-satisfaction
Matthew Hayden's mulling things over.

"Sitting in Airport Lounge in Hyderabad thinking about home and just how amazing my life is. Until next time Hyd:)"
@HaydosTweets

He probably schedules time for that each day. When you're on a non-stop rollercoaster of joy - eating pickle, waiting for flights and the like - it's hard to find the time to appreciate just how amazing your life is.

The nickname
Lancastrian Graeme Fowler points out a flaw in the team across the Pennines being renamed Yorkshire Vikings.

"So Yorkshire Ccc who are fiercely patriotic to their birth place have named their team after some foreign invaders!"
@GFoxyFowler

The metric
Did Dale Steyn have fun when he visited a theme park?

"If fun is measured in how much u chunder then I had a AWESOME day... #6flagmagicmountain"
@DaleSteyn62

That is not how you measure fun. At best, it is an occasional by-product of certain types of fun.

The retirement
Has Lou Vincent been busy since he retired from cricket?

"DOMESTIC LESSON 1: Don't do the floors first and then do benches. You then have to do floors again and that's not good maths in my mind.."
@louvincent78

"...... And then you burn your cheese on toast while doing the floors again because blokes are easily distracted...."

"..... And then you drop the toast so the floors need to be done again.... Real bad maths..... Life is a crack up!"

The old floor-doing, cheese-on-toast-burning-and-dropping scenario - we've all been there. Thanks for the advice. Can't wait for domestic lesson two. Hopefully it'll shed more light on your unconventional understanding of the word "maths".

The facts
According to Surrey's Jason Roy:

"Jay Z is king #fact"
@JasonRoy20

Not a fact.

According to Worcestershire's Alan Richardson:

"Beetroot juice is rank. Fact."
@alricho21

Questionable.

Life with Kemar Roach
Once again, it's all go for Kemar.

"Busy Day Ahead!"
@KemarAJR

One hour later.

"Breakfast And Catch Up On Some Sleep! #Knackerd"

You don't know what he did during that hour. Maybe he's just really efficient.

What's your philosophy?
Lonwabo Tsotsobe.

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. Nyt all."
@LonwaboTsotsobe

What if people are only throwing bricks that have been deemed unfit for purpose? In that case wouldn't it be plain irresponsible to commence construction?