The BCCI learns from the Ashes

The popularity enjoyed by the Ashes as a cricket brand is encouraging other cricket boards to come up with equally creative names for their own bilateral series.

"The Ashes is a great name for a cricket series - essentially because it is evocative of a powerful sentiment," said BCCI president Shashank Manohar. "It refers to the remains of something that was ceremonially destroyed after a match between these two great cricketing nations - creating a powerful symbol that endures as a cricket tradition. We think it would be a great idea if other series were also given names along these lines. Names that people will remember for decades, and not names that they will forget within minutes of hearing them - like Chirayu Amin. Betcha didn't remember that guy, eh?" he winked, taking a quick potshot at... er... umm... we think he's the dude who replaced Lalit Modi, but we're not sure.

The BCCI is considering a branding exercise that will give brandnames to various series played by the Indian team (and other tournaments organised by the BCCI), that are drawn from the memory of something that was utterly destroyed when the series was played earlier.

Accordingly India-Sri Lanka series will be henceforth called "The Spectator Interest", India-Pakistan series will be called "The K Srikkanth's Batting Average", the IPL will be called "The Credibility", and the Ranji Trophy will be renamed "Any team that plays against Mumbai".

Meanwhile, the first Ashes Test in Brisbane, which ended in a draw, is being hailed as a "moral victory" for England. This has not pleased Aussie skipper Ricky Ponting.

"Moral victory? What does that even mean? A draw is a draw, mate. If a draw is a 'moral victory', then my 51 not out in the second innings should be called a 'moral century'. And my 39 Test hundreds is a 'moral world record'," snapped an annoyed Ponting. "Why stop at that? Why not call the tea interval a 'moral rain delay', the off side the 'moral on side' and Graeme Swann the 'moral Mitchell Johnson'. It's bollocks," he added.

However, Ponting did admit to seeing the value in referring to the previous two Ashes defeats under his captaincy as "moral draws". Nobody can accuse him of not being gracious, that Ricky.

Some rather bizarre news has emerged from Chennai, indicating that MS Dhoni, Suresh Raina, Murali Vijay and Albie Morkel were kept locked in a room for several hours before being allowed to leave. Chennai Super Kings owner N Srinivasan later admitted that the whole thing was a horrible mix-up - caused by a slightly hard-of-hearing CSK official who misheard the term "player retention". Srinivasan refused to confirm rumours that the same official had asked some of the team's reserve players to stand up on the bench. We'd investigate further but we're fairly certain that the truth will emerge soon in the form of leaked tapes.