Can of worms meets hornet's nest

Every Sunday, we take a different look at the week that was ...

'On your way, old chap' AFP

Yak, yak, yak It's been a great week for the ICC. Malcolm Speed called for sledging to stop, but his own words - which targeted the Australia-South Africa series in particular - seemed to cause a lot of hoo-hah of their own. Jeff Thomson banged it in off a length to open it up: "They are more worried about words," he fumed. "That is all they are, full of words the ICC. They always look like they are doing something but they do nothing. They are the biggest bullshitters in the world. What a waste of space."

"They are putting the cart before the horse," added Thommo's team-mate Terry Alderman. "They are almost saying there is going to be problems because of what has been written and said by players. That is ridiculous." The South Africa board's representative Tony Irish spoke in defence of his players: "If there are genuine concerns that players may offend the spirit of the game this should be taken up with them directly and not in the form of a public lecture." Cricket Australia's spokesman, Peter Young agreed: "The banter that goes with the game will always be part of the game."

But Shaun Pollock sprang to the ICC's defence. "I think the ICC did well to act pro-actively to ensure that emotions stay calm rather than taking action halfway through the series when things have already got out of hand," he said. And in so doing, ensured he can sledge to his hearts content in the next three Tests without fear of his wrists being slapped.

Going, going ... India's selectors completed the final part of their gradual removal of Sourav Ganguly, dropping him for the final Test against Sri Lanka. The decision seemed rather odd to neutrals, but it provoked a variety of responses inside India, with the most heated reaction in Ganguly's home city of Kolkata where protesters blocked roads and railway lines. The week ended with the speaker of the lower house announcing the matter would be discussed in parliament. Aside from the fact that it might be imagined the legislature might have more weighty issues to tackle, it was greeted with a sigh of relief by selectors in other countries who only have to worry about newspaper criticism and the occasional rotten egg. Except, of course, in Zimbabwe, where they are more concerned with finding 11 people who aren't going to rock the boat and can hold a cricket bat the right way round.

Now that really is not Gary Keedy ... keedie.com

And was Jerusalem belted out ... It's become something of a tradition for English sporting teams to release the song around the time of a major competition. Whereas the football team release their tunes before competition takes place - presumably because a tournament victory song would be a rare beast indeed - the cricket team has taken the lead from their Ashes-winning predecessors in 1971. That time, the lyrics were written by Brian Johnston; this time nobody is taking any chances. The song was penned originally as a poem by William Blake and will be sung by Keedie - not Gary, before David Lloyd pipes up with that inevitable pun - with England thankfully just on backing vocals.

Ashes out of focus Get that man a knighthood. Andrew Flintoff has, yet again, managed to pull off the look of 2006: next year, makeover programmers might be inundated with requests to replicate the bleary-eyed, drink-induced look which will no doubt be known as "a Freddie." Well, perhaps not, but it's all for a good cause. If he were a footballer he'd be splashed all over the papers for reckless boozing and staying up late, again. But, no, he has another legitimate excuse for red-eyeage. Firstly his Ashes bender made him the toast of the nation and he was duly crowned Sports Personality of the Year at 3am before the third one-dayer in the clearest shoe-in since Cinderella fitted the glass slipper. Shame he went on to get a duck as England sank to defeat - although worse was in store for them two days later when they crashed to their heaviest one-day loss ever, as Pakistan inflicted a 168-run shoeing on them to take a 2-1 lead in the series. Kamran Akmal blasted two centuries to take them to victory on both occasions.

Throwing in the kitchen sink too Luke Pomersbach, a club cricketer who works as a furniture removalist because he cannot get a playing contract, hit a century against South Africa in their drawn warm-up match against Western Australia. Nuff said.

Talking tactics Craig McMillan hits back at 'experts' who have called for his head after New Zealand's recent Chappell-Hadlee one-day series against Australia. "They are not close to the team," he said, "They are not aware of what tactics we are employing." Hmm, presumably these tactics are for him to score 20 runs in three innings, then. Great strategies indeed.

Chick in the psychological armour? Australia's coach John Buchanan has admitted that his team aren't supermen, after all. "It would be nice if we could live up to everybody's expectations every time we bat and every time we bowl but the reality is that it is international sport, it's very competitive and we're just not super-human."

'No, seriously, Tony, he said you were a god. Why, what did you think he said?' Getty Images

Yes, prime minister Bermuda are now selling replica cricket kit which has become quite popular since their prime minister Alex Scott was spotted wearing it - which presumably wouldn't be the case if Tony Blair started to sport a Durham Dynamoes top. But at least no Bermudan has insulted their PM, unlike a certain English Ashes hero.

Quote-hanger: hobnobbing It's one way to endear yourself to your prime minister, never mind an entire nation. Matthew Hoggard says that he called Tony Blair a 'knob' after hopping on the bus to Downing Street in the post-Ashes celebrations. Hoggy appeared on comedy TV programme They Think It's All Over and told them: "My memory is quite blurred, but I remember a big red thing - so I think we took a bus to No. 10 Downing Street. I believe Tony popped in for a glass of - what did they offer us? - pineapple juice. We left Downing Street and there was a lot of photographers. He said: "What do they want?" So I looked at him and said: 'A photo, you knob!'"

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