What is the umpire doing here?

Clearly this umpire misunderstood when calls were made for improvements at grassroots cricket!(Nick Meakin, UK)

Honourable mentions:

Proposed changes to the DRS require umpires to do 20 push-ups for every overturned decision. (Brendan, Australia)

'And then Gayle hits one straight at my face, and i'm on all fours.' (Jayant, India)

I'm just trying to locate Tony Greig's lost key from the last time he did his pitch report from here. (Jay, USA)