Comebacks, companions and Christie's coffers

The ballad of Sourav Ganguly
News of the week - Dada's back. Sourav Ganguly, the former Indian captain, was recalled to the Test side after a ten-month gap, to the surprise of many. The return of Ganguly and VVS Laxman points to the fact that the Indian selectors are returning to experienced players after the recent dismal run. Opinions have been divided - some see, in Ganguly's return, the end of the road for Greg Chappell, others see it as a Chappell ploy to give Ganguly the long rope - but there's no denying that the man cannot be kept out of the loop. Its unlikely we'll see any bare-chested, shirt-whooping celebrations on this tour, but keep your eyes on that Indian dressing-room. And it looks like that Pepsi commercial worked out well for Gangs. Ooh-aah.

The upside of anger
"Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two," said Navjot Singh Sidhu, the former India batsman-turned-commentator, some time back. His mile-a-minute, convoluted, palindrome-inspired, Punjabi-to-English euphemisms - 'Siddhuism' to the uninitiated - have left many stumped and close to mental disintegration, but this past week Sidhu was silenced - at least, temporarily. The Punjab and Haryana High Court on Friday found him guilty of culpable homicide, not amounting to murder, in a case dating back to an incident in Patiala in 1988. Following this, the BJP Parliamentarian sent in his resignation, but it remains to be seen what will happen regarding his lucrative commentary and advertisement contracts. The court will announce the quantum of the sentence on Wednesday. "The bird has flown the coop, but the brimstone clatters like a...a..." I give up - you need to be a professional ventriloquist to imitate the - er, in this case, thankfully - inimitable.

Jhalak dikhla jaa
India's first Pro20 against South Africa at the Wanderers on Friday was a splendid affair, not just because they actually won a game, but for the vibrant feel at the venue. Bugles blared, beer flowed, and booties shook. To Bollywood music, mostly. Cheerleaders were instructed by their event manager to take in as much Hindi cinema as possible before the match, to spice up the usually bland South African routine and offer the Indian crowd some extra oomph, and films such as The Guru and Bride and Prejudice were lapped up to get a feel of the gyrations. It worked, as India won. Forget the rolling camps and hours of statistical footage, boys, just call on Daniella, Megan and the other enthused artistes. Girls dancing to Himesh Reshammiya on the opening day of the Jo'burg Test? Might not be such a bad idea for the tourists.

Sixteen poisoned Englishmen?
The WAGs - wives and girlfriends - are back in the news. Kim Hughes, the former Australian captain, contends that England's fairer (no offence, pretty boys KP, Cook, etc) touring contingent is driving the men towards distraction. "I was surprised to see the wives and girlfriends of the England players traveling on the team bus in Brisbane and leaving the airport arm-in-arm with their partners," Hughes wrote in England's The Independent. "At this stage of a tour you don't need distractions and you don't want blokes worrying about their other halves and children. You want them to be focused on the cricket and their teammates." Funny, coming from a man rendered absolutely luckless during the 1981 Ashes in England and the disenchanted, alienated soul who lead a rebel team to South Africa. Maybe the devil does really wear Prada.

Quick singles, my lady, quick singles
She's more likely to recite Shakespeare or dissertate on the aesthetical appeal of scripting and directing her own project, but when it comes to keeping in shape, Emma Thompson, the two time-Academy Award winner, walks out to the middle of the pitch. No, she doesn't turn out for the Paddington XI on Sunday mornings and she's not a self-confessed follower of the game. Rather Thompson, of Howard's End, Sense and Sensibility and Much Ado About Nothing fame, visits the cricket pitch that adjoins her English home when she wants to burn calories. Thompson, 47, refuses to compromise on her intake of rich foods and alcohol: "I do it eight times almost every day. It's the only way I can manage it, because I want to drink wine and eat what I want. The tops of my legs are a bit of a worry." Didn't Ashley Giles follow the same regime?

Bad, bad black sheep
Imagine the reaction if this headline broke in the Indian dailies: "Greg Chappell Has Sex with Sheep!" Ooh boy. Just what Members of Parliament in New Delhi would have loved to see. I, for one, nearly lost my breakfast. But its all good, as far as cricket is concerned. As it turns out, a Brisbane man with the same name as the under-fire coach of India, was reported as having purchased one of the "Loving Lamb Inflatable Sheep" products. Despite the squeals from his parents, who vehemently denied that their little lamb was capable of such hanky-panky in the pasture over the fence, the Brisbane Mental Health Unit reported that Chappell's car was found on the side of the highway with puddles of baby oil, semen and plastic parts all over the back seat, along with an empty box of the inflatable sheep. A missing persons report was also filed. Much like the real Chappell did during India's dismal series whitewash in South Africa. Baaaah.

Six and out
The ball that Garry Sobers dispatched for the last of his famous six sixes in the summer of 1968 was auctioned for £26, 400 at Christie's last month, but doubts over its authenticity have cropped up. And Christie's has taken flak for it. The ball that was sold was a Duke's; the ball that was smashed by Sobers, reportedly, was another make. Glamorgan officials and former players insist that only balls made by Stuart Surridge were used at the time. Richard Lewis, who as a 17-year-old ran off to retrieve the ball, reportedly handed it back to Sobers, who took it to his Nottinghamshire base from where it was to be stored in the Trent Bridge museum. Here's where it gets hazy. The museum curator says it was put up in a bar, then shifted over to the hands of a club secretary, and then finally to Christie's some 40 years later. One story has it that the ball was stolen from the museum. Malcolm Nash, the unfortunate bowler at the time and now the US junior cricket coach in Kansas, vouched that it was a Surridge - and frankly, he should know.

Quotehanger
"Chappell does not understand the nuances of democracy." Communist MP (yes, a communist banging on about democracy is a bit rich) Gurudas Dasgupta gets hot under the collar after Greg Chappell, reacting to news that his role was being discussed in parliament, said: "They are entitled to make any comment they like ... that's what they are paid to do in parliament."