Dreams of bacon butties and a pint of Old Peculier

As England fall apart in front of our very eyes at Lahore - "It's been a tough tour mentally," Duncan Fletcher admitted last night. "We've been stuck in hotels and mentally it's got to the team a little bit" - Martin Johnson in the Daily Telegraph says that while touring isn't nearly as arduous as is once was, it still poses problems:

You don't have to be in Pakistan all that long before the sardonic dressing room humour ("right lads, what's it to be tonight? A trip to the theatre or back to the nightclub?") begins to pall. Hallucinations are not uncommon, alternating between a log fire, a bacon sandwich, and a pint of Theakston's Old Peculier.