Soccer frenzy at Kingston

It's all happening at the Kingston Cricket Club at Sabina Park. Nothing to do with cricket, but a small matter of around 40 fans watching Arsenal take on Barcelona in the Champions League final. Support is divided. Raucous noise threatens to shatter a few glass bottles in the bar. The referee, being an easy target to vent spleen, dies a thousand deaths. Either way he is doomed – the abuses are guaranteed.

Arsenal lose one man. Mayhem. Arsenal score. Mayhem. Soon after half-time, the bar manager realises that people are more interested in the football than in his beer. He promptly switches off the television. Says there's construction work to be completed ahead of the India-West Indies cricket match.

The television outside is working on a tube that's on its last legs. Pictures are hazy, footballers are smudged colours on the screen, and the scoreline is illegible. Barcelona score. The roof quivers. Barcelona score again. The entire stadium reverberates. Barcelona win. Song and dance. Barcelona fans want all the beer in the world. Arsenal fans begin hunting for the manager.