Australia February 2, 2010

Those manly men of Australian commentary

Tubs, Slats, Heals and Gilly's axis of machismo would no doubt be in admiration of Afridi's all-male way of ball-tampering
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'It's a bloody tough wicket to bat on but I could do it on one leg' © Getty Images
 

It’s always a pleasure to listen to the modern Australian commentators and by “a pleasure”, I mean “aural torture of a particularly gruelling kind”. I comfort myself with the thought that we are nearer the end than the beginning of the Australian season and that only a few one-day games with West Indies lie between me and a respite from the output of Tubs, Slats and Heals. Australian sportsmen appear to be bound by a code of machismo, which prevents them from uttering any word or phrase that might contain anything a viewer could possibly construe as a) poetic or b) a bit girlie.

The word ‘beautiful’ only gets a look in because they mangle the vowels to such an extent that it is no longer recognisable to the human ear. During Sunday’s game, Tubs did venture off-piste with the phrase, ‘a windy woof’, but it was a bloke’s ‘windy woof’, more of a bark than a woof and anyway, it is essentially gibberish and gibberish is firmly bloke territory. Even helium-voiced guest star Gilly, only the second Australian man ever to cry, was keeping it strictly manly.

In the midst of this tight-lipped, hairy-chested working men’s club, in which jargon like Gees (G-Force) and Kays (Kilometres) is the only concession to verbal inventiveness, it is left to dear old Mark Nicholas to fly the flag for showbiz. So I was dismayed to hear this Noel Coward of cricket commentators at one point describing Australia as ‘almost rampant’. Almost? I guarantee, if he had been safely back in old Blighty, there would have been no adverb involved and the ‘r’ of rampant would have rolled on for several seconds. Don’t let the testosterone get to you, Mark, be loud and be proud!

As well as getting in touch with my masculine side, I’ve been reacquainted this winter with that famous Aussie objectivity. Tubs, who can remember a time when Australia were pants, is the most generous. Heals, forever on the verge of launching into ‘Under The Southern Cross I Stand’, offers his praise of the opposition through gritted teeth. There is nothing particularly malicious here and in many ways it is heart-warmingly familiar, like visiting your bigoted but good-natured old uncle. But things are so one-eyed in that commentary booth, it could be mistaken for a pirate convention.

Take, for example, the pitch. We’ve all heard of drop-in pitches. Well, at the WACA, they have developed the rotating pitch. Early on, the track was mercilessly flat and only the sheer brilliance of the frighteningly muscular Ryan Harris and Morrissey look-alike Clint McKay enabled them to winkle out a Pakistani wicket or seven. But at the interval, the groundsman flicked a switch, the pitch flipped 180 degrees and Australia were compelled to chase on a minefield. Thank goodness then that Australian batsmen are so brilliant or they might not have succeeded.

As for Mr Afridi’s oral adventures, little more need be said. The sight of the Pakistani captain attempting to swallow a cricket ball whole, like a python dislocating its jaw to consume an ostrich egg, will be played continuously across the cricket globe, to the great amusement of everyone (go on, Pakistan fans, I bet you chuckled, just a little). And you could hear the admiration of the Slats-Heals-Tubs axis of manliness. This was proper ball-tampering. None of that delicate seam-picking, no furtive pocketfuls of compost, no bottle tops, ointments or boiled sweets, just a virile, red-blooded cricketer standing up proudly and taking a healthy bite of leather, cork and soil.

Good on yer, Shahid.

Andrew Hughes is a writer currently based in England

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Roshan Ariyaratnam on February 18, 2010, 21:53 GMT

    I know id rather be listening to tubby, slats and heals than the sky sports commentary team (except bumble maybe) who are terrible. Headed by Botham, who by the way he delivers his commentary defies belief that he has actually played cricket b4, let alone been a great (at least in english eyes), Nasser Hussain who has the cricket commentary persona of a school headmaster, Mike Atherton who puts everyone to sleep and more recently Nick Knight who struggles to actually say anything without trying his best to contradict himself. The only thing that could make the Sky team worse was if Mark Nicholas was to join it! Channel Nine are the best commentary team in the world and have been for years.

  • ThreePillarTales on February 10, 2010, 16:36 GMT

    As a true blue cricket tragic, I'd agree that Tubs gets a bit boorish but Richie loves him so he stays. Mark Nicholas is even worse for his useless meandering commentary trying to please everyone. One has to expect homeside partisanship so what's wrong with it?? Don't like it...crack the wireless for aunty ABC's more even and sometimes very funny version with Kerry. The worst aspect of the current summer for England is to see the new look Aussie team slowly congeal. Mitch is finally where he should be at first change and nearly everybody is clicking. India started this run when Greg Chappell instilled a backbone. Like most issues subcontinent, it fades eventually with political infighting and money belt jostling. Saffers are saffers and forever clinical. The last two years have been great for the auld game with top for nations vying for supremacy but the status of the Ponting behemoth will arrive in 2012. Meanwhile an Ashes series awaits.

  • Scotty O on February 7, 2010, 22:59 GMT

    You are spot on Andrew. Channel Nine are even worse than Nasser Hussain! But in Nasser's defense he is only one man and does stand out individually along with the likes of Heals, Tubby & Slats. I guess prominant Test cricketers of the 90's just don't make good commentators. I don't blame Slats though, before he joined Nine he was doing a lot of cable work and was quite good, I really liked his work with Mike Atherton when Aus toured India in 2004. Nine has sucked his talent with every shameless piece of cross-promotional material. I'm sure he really is going to watch that "fantastic" new episode of The Mentalist next Monday night.

  • Abhishek on February 7, 2010, 17:39 GMT

    sorry andrew,can't agree with you here. out of all the cricket cmntry teams arnd the wrld,the chnl nine team is the best IMHO. they provide some grt insights into the proceedings & also entrtain us wth their humor. agree heals is a bit biased though.. And whoever said mark nicholas is the best cmnttr in th world needs his head xmnd . Thoroughly!!!!

  • My dear old thing on February 4, 2010, 20:31 GMT

    Does anyone remember good old Henry Blofeld? I'd watch paint drying if he was commentating about it.

  • gopi on February 4, 2010, 19:42 GMT

    If we rank the prominent group of commentators in world cricket ,my order from worst to best would be Australian's,Australian's,Australian's......., Indians,SA cans,Englishmen. English commentators are by far the best in respecting & recognising the contribution of the opponent team. Hats off to the author for bringing this to the limelite

  • segars on February 4, 2010, 15:29 GMT

    "The sight of the Pakistani captain attempting to swallow a cricket ball whole, like a python dislocating its jaw to consume an ostrich egg.".... Gold Andrew, GOLD!!!!!

  • jamie on February 4, 2010, 12:00 GMT

    Brilliant article - sums it up perfectly. The aussie commentators are men's men of the highest ilk. They're also slightly more one-sidedly patriotic than a digger on ANZAC Day.

    And that's the way we like it. This is Oz after all. Sunburnt land and all that.

    All those blokes having a whinge - lighten up wouldya. It's a bit of satire, not a critical essay

  • Lakshman on February 4, 2010, 9:44 GMT

    Though Australia gave us Richie Benaud, we also have to bear Healy. Still remember his pathetic commentary last year in the match against SA at the MCG. He was trying to win the match for Australia from the commentary box! Having said that we Indians have to grin and bear Laxman Sivaramakrishnan's gems too.. "Unbeleivable" he screamed when Virat Kohli cover drove a nondescript Srilankan bowler to the fence, during a powerplay. Gawd - give me a break!

  • JB on February 4, 2010, 9:41 GMT

    Agree that ABC radio does have the better commentary, BUT I will never accept that Mark Nicholas is a good commentator. Smarmy, cringe-worthy, boring and as I've said before - anyone who has exclaimed 'Crikey O'Reilly!' after seeing a six hit should be deported and possibly jailed.

  • Roshan Ariyaratnam on February 18, 2010, 21:53 GMT

    I know id rather be listening to tubby, slats and heals than the sky sports commentary team (except bumble maybe) who are terrible. Headed by Botham, who by the way he delivers his commentary defies belief that he has actually played cricket b4, let alone been a great (at least in english eyes), Nasser Hussain who has the cricket commentary persona of a school headmaster, Mike Atherton who puts everyone to sleep and more recently Nick Knight who struggles to actually say anything without trying his best to contradict himself. The only thing that could make the Sky team worse was if Mark Nicholas was to join it! Channel Nine are the best commentary team in the world and have been for years.

  • ThreePillarTales on February 10, 2010, 16:36 GMT

    As a true blue cricket tragic, I'd agree that Tubs gets a bit boorish but Richie loves him so he stays. Mark Nicholas is even worse for his useless meandering commentary trying to please everyone. One has to expect homeside partisanship so what's wrong with it?? Don't like it...crack the wireless for aunty ABC's more even and sometimes very funny version with Kerry. The worst aspect of the current summer for England is to see the new look Aussie team slowly congeal. Mitch is finally where he should be at first change and nearly everybody is clicking. India started this run when Greg Chappell instilled a backbone. Like most issues subcontinent, it fades eventually with political infighting and money belt jostling. Saffers are saffers and forever clinical. The last two years have been great for the auld game with top for nations vying for supremacy but the status of the Ponting behemoth will arrive in 2012. Meanwhile an Ashes series awaits.

  • Scotty O on February 7, 2010, 22:59 GMT

    You are spot on Andrew. Channel Nine are even worse than Nasser Hussain! But in Nasser's defense he is only one man and does stand out individually along with the likes of Heals, Tubby & Slats. I guess prominant Test cricketers of the 90's just don't make good commentators. I don't blame Slats though, before he joined Nine he was doing a lot of cable work and was quite good, I really liked his work with Mike Atherton when Aus toured India in 2004. Nine has sucked his talent with every shameless piece of cross-promotional material. I'm sure he really is going to watch that "fantastic" new episode of The Mentalist next Monday night.

  • Abhishek on February 7, 2010, 17:39 GMT

    sorry andrew,can't agree with you here. out of all the cricket cmntry teams arnd the wrld,the chnl nine team is the best IMHO. they provide some grt insights into the proceedings & also entrtain us wth their humor. agree heals is a bit biased though.. And whoever said mark nicholas is the best cmnttr in th world needs his head xmnd . Thoroughly!!!!

  • My dear old thing on February 4, 2010, 20:31 GMT

    Does anyone remember good old Henry Blofeld? I'd watch paint drying if he was commentating about it.

  • gopi on February 4, 2010, 19:42 GMT

    If we rank the prominent group of commentators in world cricket ,my order from worst to best would be Australian's,Australian's,Australian's......., Indians,SA cans,Englishmen. English commentators are by far the best in respecting & recognising the contribution of the opponent team. Hats off to the author for bringing this to the limelite

  • segars on February 4, 2010, 15:29 GMT

    "The sight of the Pakistani captain attempting to swallow a cricket ball whole, like a python dislocating its jaw to consume an ostrich egg.".... Gold Andrew, GOLD!!!!!

  • jamie on February 4, 2010, 12:00 GMT

    Brilliant article - sums it up perfectly. The aussie commentators are men's men of the highest ilk. They're also slightly more one-sidedly patriotic than a digger on ANZAC Day.

    And that's the way we like it. This is Oz after all. Sunburnt land and all that.

    All those blokes having a whinge - lighten up wouldya. It's a bit of satire, not a critical essay

  • Lakshman on February 4, 2010, 9:44 GMT

    Though Australia gave us Richie Benaud, we also have to bear Healy. Still remember his pathetic commentary last year in the match against SA at the MCG. He was trying to win the match for Australia from the commentary box! Having said that we Indians have to grin and bear Laxman Sivaramakrishnan's gems too.. "Unbeleivable" he screamed when Virat Kohli cover drove a nondescript Srilankan bowler to the fence, during a powerplay. Gawd - give me a break!

  • JB on February 4, 2010, 9:41 GMT

    Agree that ABC radio does have the better commentary, BUT I will never accept that Mark Nicholas is a good commentator. Smarmy, cringe-worthy, boring and as I've said before - anyone who has exclaimed 'Crikey O'Reilly!' after seeing a six hit should be deported and possibly jailed.

  • Jay on February 4, 2010, 6:07 GMT

    Ah, don't put down the ABC commentary so much. When I want a Sunday afternoon nap, I just turn them on, and I'm asleep in no time. They're perfect.

  • craig on February 4, 2010, 3:42 GMT

    i would pay money just to listen to kerry o'keffe that man is a comedy act aswell as full of cricket knowledge, put him on channel 9 and we will see just how bad slats/tubs and healy really are. finally somebody has said somthing about the biasness. altho bill lawry and tony grieg are briliant

  • Tommy on February 3, 2010, 23:39 GMT

    Good Article, I couldent agree more that channel 9 appears to have employed slang merchants, apart from Mark Nicholas who is by far the best commentator in the world.

    Tony Grieg is the worst of them all, he talks utter garbage, although that should suit the aussie commentators as they are used to doing it most of the time.

    Best commentary team ever. Mark Nicholas, Richie Benaud, Geoff Boycott, Shane Warne and David Lloyd - Simples

  • Patrick on February 3, 2010, 23:32 GMT

    Being an Australian, and having spent many years listening to Richie Benaud & Co on Channel Nine each summer, I can't imagine life without them.

    I occasionally listen to the BBC cricket commentators when Australia is playing the Poms. And although there are some excellent observers of the game in their ranks, I must admit most of these gentlemen sound like bitter old women who just cannot swallow the fact that England consistently and vastly underperform in all sports internationally.

    The one thing you can say about Healy, Tubs, Chappel, Benaud etc is that they have done it all and are the greatest cricketers of their generations...

  • josh edwards on February 3, 2010, 16:37 GMT

    i disagree... get mark nicholas out of there asap and ship him back to england. he annoys the hell out of me

  • Shailesh on February 3, 2010, 16:29 GMT

    If you think that the Aussie commentator's are bad, then you should listen to 'some' of their Indian counterparts. They are operating on an entirely 'different' paradigm. The recurrent use of similar phrases, their blase attitude towards the on-field proceedings, a hideous nasal tone to compliment it and lousy sentence construction is nothing short of mental torture.

  • Rohit on February 3, 2010, 13:12 GMT

    Hilarious!!! Who was the first Aussie to cry by the way?

  • Nitin Mehta on February 3, 2010, 11:39 GMT

    You couldn't have been more right! Healy, Slater and Taylor are probably amongst some of the most boring and biased commentators in the history of cricket! I say "amongst some" coz I'm sure a lot of people will agree on the most boring ones being Messrs Bob Willis, David Gower, Derek Pringle and co. Gosh I shall die if ever some channel brings all these guys together!

  • FallsDown on February 3, 2010, 11:08 GMT

    Yeah, the Channel 9 commentary is a bit biased but so are the other teams from all other countries (barring individual exceptions) when they cover a home game. The way they defended Haddin/Johnson was disgraceful, but on the whole, I personally find the Ch 9 commentary the best (and least biased, incidentally) of the international feed from any cricketing nation. I'm not an Aussie, so I don't know how good the ABC commentary is/isn't.

  • Marrickville Boy on February 3, 2010, 9:29 GMT

    The Australia ABC radio coverage is, at times, even worse than the TV coverage with Slats/Heals/Tubs. Especially when the unfunny buffoon O'Keefe comes on. Standards have not merely slipped on radio, they have plummeted to all-time lows.

    Some of the unobtrusive ABC staffers are fine, so too Mr Roebuck, but those visits every few years by Harsha Bhogle and his equivalents from other visiting nations to the ABC radio commentary box just remind Australian fans of how poor our local commentary team currently is.

    We're going through a sad, lamentable period where the oafs are in charge. I wonder which oaf in the ABC hierarchy considers that O'Keefe is money or time well spent? He's a much bigger embarrassment than either of Heals/Slats/Tubs. At least they don't laugh convulsively at their own jokes.

    I've found the radio/TV commentary so bad that I now prefer to have the Cricinfo ball-by-ball stuff up in on my screen. That can be quite classy at times. Well done, chaps!

  • Gustov on February 3, 2010, 9:01 GMT

    Tubs and Slats are alright better than the other drible from the old guys. Heals on the other hand is full of crap, if he talks about the anatomy of an injury one more time with such ignorance, deficiency and wikipedia style knowledge I'm going to put a hole through my speakers.

    Get Kerry O'Keefe on

  • Anonymous on February 3, 2010, 7:18 GMT

    Thank you for posting this article. I have been listening to OZ commentary. The comments are torturous, whenever one of the commentators dare to praise any other player besides an OZ the other one jumps in and start talking about an Australian player.

  • Vir Asan on February 3, 2010, 7:17 GMT

    It has all gone pear-shaped when Mark Nicholas is the preferred commentator amidst the Channel 9 elite panel of gob swingers. True, ABC commentary certainly picks up the slack but just as you settle in they put that dimwitted fool by the name of Justin Langer on. The number of words in his mental dictionary of the English language is about the same as his batting average. Such is the pity that ex-cricketers feel like they have the skill to commentate on the game when their verbal skills are far from the required level (maybe in direct comparison to their outright biases and bigotry). In fact it seems that the biggest culprits here would have to be both Australian and Indian commentary teams. What irks with Australia though is that there is only usually one option for commentary let alone being able to watch any other country than Australia play even on pay-TV. No wonder cricket bias is built on suhc solid foundations here.

  • kamran on February 3, 2010, 7:17 GMT

    yeah andrew i agree with ur analysis of channel 9 blokes.. they are too biased and seem to be commentating an opera.. the usual false-high sounding-aussie-rhetoric.. common' ozz lift ur eyes n think big.. its time we let gentleman's game b a gentlemen's game..

  • prodogg on February 3, 2010, 5:30 GMT

    Cook, mate i live in aussie land, and the commentary in bad, its not down two earth! "Austrialia might be 7/50 but we still have a chance in the match don't we Tubs?" says healy "Sure do Heals." says the worst commentator in the world, mark taylor.

  • Rob on February 3, 2010, 5:24 GMT

    Keep it up guy's, we think you do a great job!

  • Ali on February 3, 2010, 4:26 GMT

    i think what afridi did was right. I mean atleast he was doing something to win pak a match. comparing to Yousuf, afridi was 150% bettter leading pakistani team in the field.

  • James Patterson on February 3, 2010, 4:16 GMT

    What a pathetic article !!

    You are just another arrogant Englishman. If you want to see one sided commentary, watch any game played in England.

    Even though you seem to be unable to enjoy a different type of commentary, a more modern one, many others quite enjoy slats, heals, and tub's remarks. Perhaps it is you who needs to get with the times rather then living in the past.

    In regards to Afridi, are you commending him ? He was ball tampering, what would you call it ?

    Poor article, written by a bitter brit !

  • redneck on February 3, 2010, 4:04 GMT

    you international viewers should just be happy you dont get exposed to the worst channel 9 comentator in eddie mcguire! hes probably the closest thing to how the bcci instuct their commentators to plug the sponser at every chance! anyhow its hard not to be biased when you look at australias home record over the last 20 years! channel 9 havent really witnessed to many aussie ass kickings in that time! i think its more funny hearing the pomms go on about their own players in much the same way, only their record is nowhere near!

  • Aussie fan on February 3, 2010, 3:50 GMT

    Andrew you look about 21,you need a haircut and a workout at the gym by the look of you. Maybe a tan as well. Actually you need to head straight down to Australia, a far greater place to be than miserable old gloomy blighty. Maybe the beach will do some good. You don't understand Australia and are looking at it through your Anglo-centric goggles. Maybe a stint in Australia will work that soft pommy softness out of you. Neville Cardus indeed!

  • Asif Husain on February 3, 2010, 3:49 GMT

    I must commend the author in bringing up a topic which has been irritating every cricket fan internationally ie the blatant one sided commentary and once in a while "gritted teeth" acknoweldgement of opposing teams good points. We all know Aussies are great and almighty. Eat a little humble pie "blokes"

  • T on February 3, 2010, 3:37 GMT

    Couldn't agree more. ABC commentary is streets ahead. Far more knowledgeable on the history of the game. Interesting, insightful, witty and funny.

    Ch9 are mundane. Biased. Bland. Boring. A point early on in an Australian innings saw a great save around point by a Pakistani fielder. Not an eyebrow was raised in the Ch9 commentary box. Similar actions by an Australian fielder would have brought a 10 minute discussion on how much better Australia are at fielding then Pakistan. With countless replays of the save.

    Then you get to the ABC and gems like Skulls comment a few weeks back during a period where the bowlers were finding a few edges "...there's more nicks here then at a Greek wedding..." A level of wit well beyond the reach of any Ch9 commentator.

  • Simon on February 3, 2010, 3:30 GMT

    I can't stand listening to the Ch 9 commentators, except for Ian Chappell. He tells it how it is and doesn't mince his words. Mark Nicholas is the only one to pronounce Australia correctly too. It's "Os-tray-lee-yah", not "stray-ah".

    The dribble that comes out of the mouths of the rest of the teams is just disgustaing and leaves me thinking, "do they ever play back a tape of their commentary and get embarassed"? I would if I said the things they do.

    E.g. Tubs described Harris as a "hit-the-deck" sort of bowler. Let's try and work out exactly what that means: Does he fall over after every delivery? Or does he bowl the ball so it pitches on the pitch? Or something else? You would hope he isn't bowling full tosses every ball, and he might need to adjust his action if he hits the deck after every delivery.

    Give me the ABC Grandstand Cricket commentary any day. Maxwell, Roebuck, O'Keefe, et al. are much more pleasant to listen to.

  • Abhishek Subramanya on February 3, 2010, 2:49 GMT

    If i would idolize, it would be Mark Nic. or the Bumble..I dnt care crap who is partial or impartial ..just want to hear some wit, trivia & good cricket(although its too early to rate the new look OZes,they are playing good)..

  • Venky on February 3, 2010, 2:26 GMT

    Expecting fairness from Aussie commentators is like expecting a tiger to eat veggies. Sans the bias i can put up with them. Atleast they far better than other commentators i can hear :-)

  • Whiskas on February 3, 2010, 1:52 GMT

    Mate you are a joke, could possibly be the worst article i have ever read

    How did you get a gig writing this utter crap

    I'll never get back the 5 minutes i wasted on this article

    You are a clown

  • Daniel D on February 3, 2010, 1:49 GMT

    When I watch cricket, I want the commentary to sound like the mates I'm watching the game with, albethey experts who've actually played the game at the highest level for an extended period UNLIKE Mark "Smarmy Cruiseboat Skipper" Nicholas who has no cricketing (let alone commentating) credentials worth mentioning. The Channel 9 team commentates on games played by Australia in Australia, so unsurprisingly it will have an Australian-biased flavour. Try sitting through the English Ashes commentary as an Australian, then you'll have something to whinge about.

  • sixth tiger on February 3, 2010, 1:49 GMT

    Couldn't agree more. I think you're a little harsh with Mark Taylor though. He adds a unique contribution to the commentary. Slater, and especially Healy need to be cut...these guys were great cricketers, but in the commentary box they come across as just a couple of blokes who have absolutely no ability or dimension in communication.

  • Mat on February 3, 2010, 1:38 GMT

    Glass houses Andrew...

    Ian Botham. Bob Willis.

    Besides, it's tough to heap praise on a team like Pakistan at the moment...although all the commentators were constantly raving about Ameer.

  • LenRog on February 3, 2010, 1:24 GMT

    Mmmmm....Ian Botham is not biased, Indian commentators when Sachin is batting are not biased. Let's face it, all commentators in their own countries show bias, that's natural. Yes, Channel 9 commentators are a pain but, if you listen closely, there are some very pentrating comments made about batters and bowlers,etc. Except by Markie, his knowledge of cricket is abysmal. I think his (very occasional) intelligent comments are scripted. I do enjoy the ABC lot (except Roebuck's drivel) but have the digital delay. So, for better or worse, we have to put up with it. Better than dead silence! Maybe. Pay TV's lot are more palatable, I think Brendan Julian as the 9 front man would be most acceptable as Rithie's replacement.

  • Ahmad on February 3, 2010, 1:13 GMT

    Its about time somebody said something about this. I'm a Pakistani fan and our performance in Australia was dreadful. But the way channel nine showed replays of Pakistani dismissals a billion times and Aussie dismissals maybe once (probably by mistake) was pretty bad. Only gave the commentators more to be gleeful about. As if they needed that. And yes, I did have a laugh about Afridi, least he didn't try and hide it. It's the Afridi way.

  • AJK on February 3, 2010, 0:47 GMT

    When I was a kid (1980's) channel Nine would have a commentator from the touring team's country join them & it seemed to reduce the bias & give the viewers informed info about their players. Maybe they could do that again??

  • absar on February 3, 2010, 0:36 GMT

    dont know what you aussies are complaining about.. i live in india and i dread watching cricket broadcasted in the subcontinent coz its commentated by the worst commentators earth could muster.. alias gavaskar, sivaram krishna, arun lal, ravi shastri and co of buffoons.. i look forward to watching cricket broadcasted in australia atleast i can hear some sane commentary.. you guys really should listen to what these guys say and then compare with the aussie trio... trust me the aussie trio is farrrr better... plus u guys have bill lawry - love that guy

  • Mick on February 3, 2010, 0:27 GMT

    I have decided Ian Healy is one of the dumbest people on the planet. Thank heavens he was never given the captaincy of Australia, or all of the good work of Border & Taylor might have been for nought. Some of my favourites include him commentating "I don't think he will mind that" after Warne had just been hit for six, only for them to cut to Warnie mouthing something not printable on this website. Also there is the time he wanted the bowlers to consistently bowl a foot down leg to try & "strangle" the batsmen out. Or when Richie, the god of commentators, brilliant captain & legspinner, had just finished commenting that the key to spin bowling is patience and that Hauritz should not be trying too many things, Heals replaces him in the box & then says "Hauritz should be mixing it up way more". I think I would take Richie's advice thanks Heals. While Tubbs, & especially Slats, can be annoying, at least they aren't idiots.

  • Nathan on February 3, 2010, 0:13 GMT

    Your article was deliciously forthright and somewhat profoundly thought provoking. However, it is with due respect that I proclaim your article to be a recepticle that is awash with untangible waste.

    Ie. what a load of rubbish !! It is so much better listening to people who have actually achieved the pinnacle in the game rather than two bit no hopers who do what they do to get a pay cheque. Andrew - stop criticizing the people who have made the game big enough for you to write on. They didnt have the time nor want to go to university to get your "journalism degree" - just like you didn't play cricket well enough to play Tests.

  • raghav on February 2, 2010, 23:55 GMT

    I dont know what you are on to ,andrew. I have heard commentary teams in India, ESPN crew and even the English. This australian commentary team keeps you awake, for god's sake. They may not be poetic, but at least they have good humor and actually have stories about 'once upon a time'. i actually like the run-out simulations they did, pretty interesting and funny. I dont understand why people around the world have to complain about everything good in Cricket Australia. What babies...

  • the_cooz on February 2, 2010, 23:46 GMT

    I agree with Ibrahim. Richie Benaud is a legend. I'm so sad he won't be doing colour commentary any more. Lawry can be very biased, but I like the excitement he brings to the booth. Same with Mark Taylor, although he's not as biased. Ian Chappell's brutal honesty also brings a smile to my face. Mark Nicholas, as you pointed out, is very irritating. Yes, the man was born to speak, but his bias and stupid, wordy comments just turn me off. He's okay as a golf commentator though (Australian [golf] Open, anyone?). Maybe he should stick to that.

  • Tariq on February 2, 2010, 23:39 GMT

    *Pakistani fan chuckles appreciatively*

  • VB on February 2, 2010, 23:20 GMT

    Strongly agree with your views on the sickeningly biased and one-sided commentary of this league of morons.. and unlike you, I wouldn't spare Mark Nicholas either.. he sounds like a closet Australian-cricketers worshipper.

  • Chris on February 2, 2010, 22:28 GMT

    Ever since Dean Jones was droped from the Australian side I've supported every touring nation. I'm one of the biggest Victorian fans and am of the belief that Austrlian cricketers aren't picked on merit or ability or form. Not only does the selection policy put me off supporting the Australian team, but the Channel 9 commentators put the final nails in the coffin. Ian Healy is terrible but Michael Slater takes the cake! Not only is there no oppostion to him, but even a member of the Australian team is truly great unless they are from NSW. Nine provide brilliant footage and coverage, yet their commentators biased Australian/NSW centic commentating is embarrassing! If it weren't for Tony Greig and Ian Chappell it would be unbearable! Please bring back the guest commentators from the touring nations so that we the viewer can get an insight to the other team cause no mattr how good or bad the Aussies are playing to Heals and Slats they will always be the better side.I miss Ian Smith.

  • Kris on February 2, 2010, 22:28 GMT

    Listening to most Aussie commentators (Slats, Heals, Tubs and the gang), I actually have the exact opposite opinion. They all sound like they're the cheer girls of Aussie cricket from the commentary box. Richie Benaud and Ian Chappell though are obvious exceptions. Mark Nicholas seems to just suck up to what every past Aussie cricketer blabbers.

  • Balu Vaithinathan on February 2, 2010, 22:19 GMT

    Be thankful, Andrew. Atleast you aren't listening to the subcontinental bunch of commentators minus Harsha Bhogle.

  • McCartney's Ghost on February 2, 2010, 21:52 GMT

    Agreed! All about me me me. Humourless, and they don't listen to each other - there is no consistency in thought or analysis apart from the 'Aren't Australia Wonderful' approach. I'd get them out of the presentations at the end - get the ABC mob to do it sometime. At least Benaud isn't still rabbitting on about back foot no-balls!

  • SteveL on February 2, 2010, 21:48 GMT

    Of course the commentary team is full of praise for Australia...they're winning! Who should they give praise to, the team playing poorly? When Australia plays badly, they're the first to give it to Ponting for bad captaincy, Johnson for spraying them everywhere, Haddin's shoddy glovework, etc.

    The Ch9 team are primarily ex-Aussie cricketers, and are quite open about their desire to see their team do well - Slats even stated that the other day. They bring great insight to the Australian team though, which is why they'e been picked. Other nationally-based teams are exactly the same (well, when their teams are winning at any rate)

  • Sami on February 2, 2010, 21:39 GMT

    The worst is when they have to plug the sponsors, Tony Greig trying to talk up something he sounds like he has no clue about is frightfully cringeworthy. Let's not even go near Mark Nicholas talking about the chance of winning a year's supply of KFC.

  • Q-man on February 2, 2010, 21:37 GMT

    These comentators seem to forget that they'r being broadcast around the world but their commentary sounds very PARTIAL maybe not "biased". Prime examples are during Pak series in first 2 matches except for the 1st inn of 1st test Aus batting was below ave, in the last test ground feilind was horrible, and watson's run out was the most horrendous run out ...but there was none or very little criticism(Subcontinantal comentators should learn the leasson). A housekeeping note to Tony: I heard you boasting on air and your fellow comentators were impressed too that how accurately you pronounced 'Akmals" as " AkHHMAL" & "Misbah"..news to you my friend, you dont need to go fancy with Akamal it is pronounced as it is and its "MIS BAH" not "MISH BAH" .

  • Big Wang on February 2, 2010, 21:27 GMT

    Andrew

    You are lucky the english commentary isn't biased at all, ha!

    Listening to Botham, Willis and worst of all Boycott whinge about everything and tell the world cricket was better in their day is excruciating.

    As for Mark Nicholas, he over dramatises every sentance like he is in a gilbert and sullivan play.

    You are watching cricket in Australia, what do you expect?

  • Seb on February 2, 2010, 21:07 GMT

    What a truly dreadful piece of writing. Well done. The Aussie commentators may not be perfect, may sometimes talk b*llocks and may sometimes get a bit too 'masculine', but one area they regularly succeed in is making me laugh, which, ironically, is something your article fails comprehensively to do, despite your obviously trying so very, very hard. The combination of old Richie with the younger guys and the excellent contrast of MN works great for me; knowlgdeable, honest, funny and in touch. You, in contrast, come across as being more than a little arrogant, ignorant and far, far removed from the reality of the sport you profess to write about. Oh, and by the way, I'm English ;-)

  • tinker on February 2, 2010, 20:36 GMT

    One of the strangest attempts at journalism i have seen from cricinfo.

    Granted the nine boys can be grating but this whole article is just so head scratchingly odd.

    Don't cricinfo have editors?

  • Babar Zia on February 2, 2010, 20:02 GMT

    yeah yeah and yeah to most of the points in the article and yes Heals does get irritating at times.

    Having said that, when the opposition is doing somethign awesome, they do point out the shortcomings of their own as well, for example ponting and the short ball syndrome.

    At the end of it all, if other teams can win in Aussie land, they will praise them and not be so one sided. Right now they have no choice.

    Me being a Pakistani fan. I am still amused, embarrased, and in a weird way happy at what Afridi did. The game has been changed too much in batters favor by ICC committess with all batsmen in it. Get rid of the one bouncer rule, and let the big boys show what they can do without helmets.

  • brij on February 2, 2010, 19:24 GMT

    Neither of them (tubbs, heals and slats) looks manly...

  • Robert on February 2, 2010, 19:24 GMT

    Unfortunately with the matches this summer being so one sided, I can see the Channel 9 executives asking the commentators to "spice things up" a little. It's all about ratings and money you know!

    I much prefer the older brigade of Benaud, Lawrie, Grieg and Chappell and even Nicolas. They give you much more insite into what it is to play cricket at the highest level.

  • Vic Williams on February 2, 2010, 19:23 GMT

    They are all good for the game.I do enjoy Slater-a tad more-could be the accent!!!! Keep up the good work. For now, may be the world is up against the Aussies, who are not letting up-so we need someone to pick on!!!

  • Saurabh on February 2, 2010, 18:10 GMT

    Sarcasm!! Oh good lord no, my dear fellow. We're all chums here. No hard feelings there ol' chap? Awfully sorry if ol' Hughesie here pressed the odd button or three. Its his job you know. Get to everyone these days their jobs. Pity actually. Still, there's cricket.

  • wanderer1 on February 2, 2010, 17:33 GMT

    Well it is Channel 9 after all. They take after the "Rupert Murdoch school of Broadcast journalism". Too political?

  • Chris on February 2, 2010, 17:28 GMT

    Andrew...do you want Tubs and co. to start talking like Blowers? Its nigh on impossible to chew gum and swallow a plum at the same time.

    Still, I can't fault your comments, but I'd sheet it home to the fact that Tubs and co come from (i) a less politically correct society, and (ii) the locals consider it a bit woofy to load your speech with archaic or colorful predicates, unless they start with "f" or "s".

    Even your "whimsical" book is borderline ;)

  • joe on February 2, 2010, 17:25 GMT

    And what was that bit about doing loops and flips and what-nots in that monoplane all about ? - it seemed interminable. And Slats, especially, seemed still as excited about it as a busload of schoolgirls. Anyway, I don't know what the adjective 'masculine' when applied to commentary means. I've heard of muscular prose but masculine commentary - never.

  • Jen on February 2, 2010, 17:20 GMT

    I disagree, I love the channel 9 commentary team the way they have banter with each other and talk back about the days etc - it's quite refreshing for a youth like me to hear stories of past players.

  • alex on February 2, 2010, 16:33 GMT

    i do not like michale slater and ian healy. Jingoistic. And all indian commentators mainly because they are incompetent with english vocabulary. And gavaskar irritates me. I am indian but i like quality. I like commentator with passion for cricket.

  • Umair on February 2, 2010, 16:27 GMT

    Channel 9 commentary team made me cringe many times long before the ODI series started. The whole test series they were expecting every Australian to score a century as soon as he started his pitch. I dont know if it was the commentary box or Tony Greg himself, but Tony Greg was miserly for tourists and extravagant for Aussies in praise, as if it was his team... or it is now. Only if I could send some comments as I had to put up with this commentary all night!

  • Scozzy on February 2, 2010, 16:23 GMT

    Give me a break. The Ozzy comentators are one sided yes, but so is every other home sides commentating team. I live in the UK and the Pommy commentators are just as bad especially at AHes time. And don't get me started on the one eyed Asian biased journalists that seem to run rampant on what used to be an unbiased cricket website called Cricinfo.com. There is only one Richie Benaud. The man called a spade a spade. The rest are comic relief.

  • brissie lad on February 2, 2010, 16:21 GMT

    sir

    completely disagree

    if you want to hear total mockery of the commentry then you should listen to gavaskar arun lal and some srilankan or bangladeshi guys making commentry on neo sports its a total disgrace

    i don't like healy and slats as commentator

  • Mudassar Rana on February 2, 2010, 16:12 GMT

    brilliant article - afridi was energetic and just proved how much he wanted to win - why he bit the ball only he knows - he could have put his spikes into it or maybe just picked the seam and got away scott free!

    i actually like the aussie commentary! i thought mark nicholas is really pompous! and richie benaud forever harks on about how in his day everything was so much better - do we really give a monkeys! i thought at mark taylor and slater were willing the pakistani's on to produce aggression on the field but i think the injections for yousuf were just a bit too much!

    anyway i enjoyed the series even though pakistan got hammered - ponting was brilliant in the sydney test - his captaincy has been outstanding and so has his self belief. its just a shame that it didnt rub off on our very own mo yo who perhaps was there as a diplomat to ensure good relations!

  • jim on February 2, 2010, 16:04 GMT

    I wish the commentators would be objective and do not give the impression that only the Australians are the best cricketers.Thank goodness for Tony Greig. Benaud and Lawrie should retire.Mark Nicholas could be good but he gets caught up with being too Australian. Be objective!

  • Grum on February 2, 2010, 15:52 GMT

    Brilliant post...Aussie cricket commentators obviously go to the same commentary school as Aussie rugby commentators!

  • virile, red-blooded, NORMAL cricketer on February 2, 2010, 15:30 GMT

    I would much rather listen to the guys on Channel 9 than on Sky Sports UK. They commentate in the way (albeit censored!) that normal blokes and cricketers talk about the game, and aren't afraid to laugh or poke fun at elements of the game or players, whereas the many other commentators are too straight-laced and ingenuine. The relaxed nature of the Channel 9 commentators helps you relax while you watch the game. They also make very few stupid comments about the technical or strategic nature of the game, unlike the Sky team. The only two Sky commentators who are on a par with Channel 9 are Bumble and Beefy- two red-blooded cricketers! I think you'll find that many cricketers in the UK are these "virile, red-blooded" people Andrew vilifies, and a major plus-point of cricket is teh fun you can have playing, watching, and talking about the game. Stop being so prim.

  • Nays on February 2, 2010, 15:12 GMT

    Cricket commentary in general is tough, sky commentators tend to put you to sleep even in a close match, their tone never seems to alter, Indian commentary is hard not to laugh at, and yes here in Australia we have those moments where you wonder what is actually on TV? Having said that, they have to more or less tell you what you are actually seeing, unlike radio where you have to listen and imagine what is goingon, and unlike other sports, the theme of the moment really never changes, one bowler runs in to bowl six times over, one batsman at times bats for hours playing same shots and leaving same deliveries, so in reality, there is no exciting movement of the ball or defender running up forward and kicking a goal!. Nope, we have 5 - 6 bowlers doing their job, hardly ever will you see a batsman take the ball, and importance of a win has led to us never seeing a number 6 and below opening the batting or coming in at 3. Plus they cant just say game 5 will be a repeat of the last 4 :)

  • Rukman on February 2, 2010, 14:46 GMT

    I think some of the commenters on these articles don't realise that everything on Page 2 is satirical...jeez..

  • Biggus on February 2, 2010, 14:34 GMT

    @Jamshed-I don't think there is anything about nurses in the laws of cricket, but there most certainly is about ball-tampering. What are you suggesting? That we look the other way? Warne's off-field behaviour was pretty lamentable but I fail to see the relevance. Had Warne stuck the ball in his mouth and chewed on it like Afridi did I would have been similarly displeased because, as is made plain in the laws of the game, it is cheating.

  • Tudd on February 2, 2010, 14:22 GMT

    "Posted by: jamshed 6 hours, 39 minutes ago

    There was one Shane Warne.He got away with everything,text messages to nurses,involvement with bookies,using banned substances etc. etc. So,what's the big deal with Afridi ?"

    Warne got a bit unlucky and "tabloid"-ed with all those events, cant remember the details but they came off alot worse then they actually were.

    Afridi bites cricket balls and spins round in the middle of the pitch. That's a bit worse than anything Shane Warne done.

    But you have got to love Afridi's "10 and over, no problem" attitude. Shame about him not being in the T20. Was looking forward to that.

  • Mumbaikar on February 2, 2010, 14:21 GMT

    The Australian commentary is still much better than their English counterparts. They do their job with vigor and some form of tenacity. Oh how the English commentary box and their cricket can use that.

    I grew up waiting for the Australian cricket summer. The best quality of cricket is played in Australia. The England cricket team is a sorry bunch of losers and every half victory is celebrated. They have won two ashes series in like 20 years at home.....what an achievement.

  • Atif on February 2, 2010, 14:19 GMT

    I disagree. I like the australian commentators: they appreciate aggressive performers even if they be among the opposition. They also admire the talent as they did with the pakistani bowling attack during the test matches but above all its the fighting attitude they admire the most. So what if they are not all that poetic, they are still fun to listen with their jokes and manly ways.

    and nope! being a Pakistani fan I hated Afridi's actions guts. 5-0 wasn't bad enough so he had to come up with something worse.

  • Erik Pohl on February 2, 2010, 13:52 GMT

    Come on now, we all know that in both England and in Australia the radio commentary are heads and shoulders above their respective colleagues in the television world. There's only one person I will take time to listen to in the television commentary box and that is Benaud. Please don't compare Nicholas to one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century. Nicholas does my head in. He's almost as bad as Botham, repeating everything the other commentators say like a parrot.

  • David on February 2, 2010, 13:17 GMT

    I agree Slats, Heals and Tubby are biased towards Australia and unpoetic in their methods. They are however accurate in their descriptions and give grudging admiration where it is deserved. Tubby especially has a great feel for the game. This article is a little unfair as very few have the class and sophistication of Richie Benaud or Mark Nicholas.

  • navz on February 2, 2010, 13:17 GMT

    Really the australian comentators should be champion like their cric team,but only ian chappal to me is a neutral one among them.

  • Sriranjan on February 2, 2010, 13:17 GMT

    Completely Disagree, I quite enjoy Channel Nine's commentary. Tubs, Slats and Mark Nicholas may be the least accomplished amongst people like Bill Lawry, Ian Chappell and Richie Benaud, but they're still good fun to listen to. And if you think Aussie commentary is bad, wonder where India (Laxman Sivaramakrishnan, Arun Lal et all) ranks....

  • F.J. on February 2, 2010, 13:03 GMT

    I don't think everything about the 9 commentary is great and I enjoy the ABC abd BBC coverages. However, Andrew you do successfully display a typical English ignorance about Australia. And what authority does Mark Nicholas have speak the way he does? No more than James Brayshaw!

  • BM on February 2, 2010, 12:58 GMT

    I'm amused by Tony Grieg's juvenile fibs most - once he was showing off his knowledge of Urdu by asking what 'garam paani' meant and then incorrectly claiming it meant tea (it's literally 'hot water'). More egregiously to this aeronautical engineer was his question on the function of wing tips as the camera zoomed on a plane overhead. With unbelievable chutzpah he authoritatively claimed them to be 'stabilizers' when they are nothing of the sort (they're designed to reduce Induced Drag). What a buffoon.

  • King_Viv on February 2, 2010, 12:39 GMT

    Channel 9 commentary is great but very clearly biased towards the home team as they don't invite any of the touring commentators into the box. When Hussey scored his match winning hundred v Pakistan in the 2nd test, Lawrie was lamenting what a deserved ton it was whilst the neutral viewer like me felt it was extraordinarily lucky ton since he was dropped four times! Nonetheless, Channel 9 is legendary for cricket coverage and there is no doubt how knowledgeable and passionate the commentators are. Special commendation to Richie and Ian Chappel.

  • deepak nair on February 2, 2010, 12:38 GMT

    There are no good commentators nowadays. They are either dull or partisan. Everybody is generally bad but the Aussies are particularly awful because of their uninhibited love for the Aussie cricket team.

  • Biggus on February 2, 2010, 12:18 GMT

    Richie and Bill I like a lot. Mark Taylor whilst not being particularly eloquent is at least insightful. The others are pretty bad but they have no monopoly on bias. I thought David Lloyd's commentary during the recent Ashes series was poor, but to me Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar are no better. I guess I'll get a flood of abuse for that last bit.

  • Josh on February 2, 2010, 11:56 GMT

    Hang on...you're implying that an all-male commentating team should be more feminine in its methods? Seems a bit odd. Plus, those people you've mentioned (Tubs, Healy, Slats)are always willing to take the mickey out of each other, and make an effort to mention the positives of a touring side's performance, no matter how woeful (e.g. Pakistan).

    And you prefer Mark Nicholas? To that I say: Bah! Humbug!

  • RT on February 2, 2010, 11:37 GMT

    I totally disagree with this article.

    From all commentators around the world, the Aussie commentators have got to be the most intresting ones. All commentators have a touch of bias (the English ones are the worst - they are constantly banging on about what England's tactics should be without any sort of respect to the opposition).

    The Aussies are very fair, they appreciate talent - Bill Lawry cannot stop talking about how good Sacin Tendulkar and VVS Laxman are and how he loves watching them bat - very impartial.

    Sorry but I don't agree with anything on this article and some of the viewers messages!

  • Andrew Hughes on February 2, 2010, 11:27 GMT

    As ever, thanks all for taking the time to comment.

    Steve, Doccaau and Martin - thanks for pointing me in the direction of ABC radio. I'll give it a try.

    Cook, your idea is fantastic. Tubs in a tutu and Jean Paul Gaultier welcoming us to the MCG. Now that's television.

    And finally, Daniel, thanks for the compliment, your cheque is in the post.

  • Jazzaaa on February 2, 2010, 11:22 GMT

    I gotta say, even as an aussie, the biasness of Healy annoys me to extremes! But I got to say as far as the jargon goes, I dont mind, although tubs can annoy me with his "Shhlog shweeps" but besides that I dont mind. Ian Chappell annoys me sometimes when he is wrong on some points yet still believes he's right, and also his boring commentary of 'good shot, great shot, excellent shot, nice shot, etc'. But I'd prefer the rest over Mark Nicholas, but I can see why people from overseas can get annoyed with these 'Australianisms'

  • Ismail Jilani on February 2, 2010, 11:03 GMT

    Why cant they replace 50% male commentators with women commentators? Im sure the channel executives can create jobs for a few 'hot' looking female commentators with a sexy voice! It'll not only add music to the ears but will add color to the commentary box as well...(Is Kylie Minogue listening?) As for Afridi, he has justified his nick name in Pakistan-WALNUT!!

  • Dean on February 2, 2010, 10:53 GMT

    As an Australian cricket fan I can't stand any of them. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to put ex captains in the box but it ruins the game on television. someone should tell them that we tune in to watch the game, not to listen to them. "I'd like to see a man put in there..." "I'm not sure why he has a mid on.." Well guess what fellas, YOU'RE NOT PLAYING! So shut up and let the guy that is captain call the shots.

    Greig and Chappell are just appalling, but Benaud is by far the worst, smug, patronizing, supercilious pearls of nothing, "well that seems to be the fashion nowadays", "just watch him turn blind, right...there" "he'll be thinking at the moment...".

    The only decent one is Bill Lawry, respects the players who are actually on the field and commentates like a knowledgeable fan, not a frustrated captain. Don't mind Slats, but he's new and has time to be corrupted.

    Give me Roebuck and O'Keefe on the radio anytime

  • Aussie Tim on February 2, 2010, 10:34 GMT

    Bit harsh, I reckon. Tubs and Heals are simple folk, but at least they understand the game of cricket. Tubs was a very intuitive captain and some of that still comes across. And I think any criticism of Slats (who I hated as a player, mind you) is altogether unwarranted.

    And how can you bag these blokes and leave aside Bill, Tony and, to a lesser extent, Ian. Bill and Tony have not made a useful cricketing observation between them since the early 1930s. I exclude Richie only because I think he died sometime in early 2006.

    The new boys mightn't be perfect, but you'd have to prefer them to the old generation.

    And ABC radio commentators aren't that great. Can somebody give Jim Maxwell and Glenn Mitchell a case of anti-depressants. And does Peter Roebuck even watch the cricket anymore?

    If only Warney could spend more time in the box. Not eloquent, but incredibly incisive.

  • F.J. on February 2, 2010, 10:09 GMT

    I don't think everything about the 9 commentary is great and I enjoy the ABC abd BBC coverages. However, Andrew you do successfully display a typical English ignorance about Australia. And what authority does Mark Nicholas have speak the way he does? No more than James Brayshaw!

  • Gordon on February 2, 2010, 10:06 GMT

    Hehehe! As an Aus fan reading this whinge its music to my ears. Might it be that the Aus comms sound so pro the Aus team because mostly its winning all its home games? Of course the rest of the world won't want to admit that otherwise they might have to look at some of the genuine shortcomings of their own teams. Far easier to just blame things on biased commentary.

  • Abhay on February 2, 2010, 9:55 GMT

    Very well said

    once it Tony Grieg whome i enjoyed (speccilly when sachin was batting) but these folks ar too much biased specially HEALY

    I remembr last year whn haddin /broom case how he was defending haddin

    shame on AUSSIES

  • Daniel Forster on February 2, 2010, 9:45 GMT

    Andrew,

    You look like a girl in your photo, I dont believe that you are any position to judge these guys, nearly 300 tests between them, male looking also. Thats what guys do, talk like guys. As if the pommie commentators werent one eyed last ashes series. Please, Are you sory to se Aussies winning or what.???

  • Benny on February 2, 2010, 9:34 GMT

    well...in international cricket,i find only indian and australian commentators very partial....english commentators veer to the other extreme.....they fall over each other to praise the opposition!

  • Ibrahim on February 2, 2010, 9:28 GMT

    Completely disagree. Their commentary is always nice to listen to--the machismo you refer to is just enthusiasm, and it's downright enjoyable. The only exception is Michael Slater's and Ian Healy's unashamed bcking of Brad Haddin vs Sulieman Benn. But Benaud cuts a quietly respectable figure, Bill Lawry is his more excitable commie comrade, and Mark Taylor isa surprise. As for Mark Nicholas, somebody put the pompous oaf out of his misery

  • Doccaau on February 2, 2010, 9:14 GMT

    I've barely watched any cricket this summer because the Channel Nine commentary, particularly Ian Healy, does my head in. The ABC radio commentary is so far ahead of it it's not funny. And the digital delay we have in regional TV areas means the ABC commentary is not just ahead in quality but also in time, making it impossible to simply turn down the TV and watch with the radio commentary.

  • RAVI on February 2, 2010, 8:41 GMT

    OHH SO TRU!!

  • P.Satish on February 2, 2010, 8:32 GMT

    Good timing considering this was something I wanted to put on the Cricinfo Inbox. The Channel Nine team has an innate inability to recognise that there are two teams out there playing a game and their blind defence of someone like Haddin and Johnson during the Benn incident has been most distasteful. I cannot figure out who is more irritating: Martin Tyler when ManU are winning or the Channel Nine team when...well, always.

  • Jonathon on February 2, 2010, 8:30 GMT

    Too right... these guys have been doing my head in over the summer. I really like watching cricket, but this trio have forced me to switch off at times. They sound very compromised... I have a suspicion that channel nine gets a tax break for manly, nationalistic commentary:)

  • Cook on February 2, 2010, 8:29 GMT

    What a strange article, complaining about the commentators being too manly. I love the commentating, because they are down to Earth and they are in a normal persons language. I'm not sure Andrew what you want them to do, maybe have them turn up to the commentary box in ballet outfits. Maybe we should get a bunch of male fashion designers to commentate on the cricket, that might be more to your liking ?

  • martin on February 2, 2010, 8:10 GMT

    Luckily here in Australia we can press the mute button and listen to the ABC commentary on the radio..... beautiful.

  • Khan on February 2, 2010, 7:55 GMT

    Thank goodness, someone has finally come out and 'ad a go' at these guys!!

  • TAREK on February 2, 2010, 7:50 GMT

    Great article Andrew. I must admit, it gets a bit too much at times the way the Aussie comentators have gone about their ways for years and Mark Nicholas has been a blessing in disguise over this series. As far as Shahid and his antics are concerned i must admit that although it was blatant cheating and being a professional cricketer myself you always do these "things" on the sly, Shahid must have been in Noddy land to think no one would notice what he had done. then again thats Afridi for you and i must admit I had a chuckle or three. thats the true Pakistani way. You should play to win and win alone. Yousuf should learn a few tricks from Afridi because he captaincy was diabolical!

  • jamshed on February 2, 2010, 7:34 GMT

    There was one Shane Warne.He got away with everything,text messages to nurses,involvement with bookies,using banned substances etc. etc. So,what's the big deal with Afridi ?

  • Steve on February 2, 2010, 7:33 GMT

    Those commentators certainly lack any real ability to actually commentate, I agree. But I don't agree it applies to all "modern Australian commentators".

    Do you ever listen to ABC radio commentary? Give it a go and you might just find that when you say "modern Australian commentators" you probably mean the "Australian commentators on a certain TV network".

    Bring back the real commentators!

  • Dan on February 2, 2010, 7:31 GMT

    Your assessment seems to be just as one-sided as you describe the commentary is. Tubs is a joke, I'll go with you there.

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  • Dan on February 2, 2010, 7:31 GMT

    Your assessment seems to be just as one-sided as you describe the commentary is. Tubs is a joke, I'll go with you there.

  • Steve on February 2, 2010, 7:33 GMT

    Those commentators certainly lack any real ability to actually commentate, I agree. But I don't agree it applies to all "modern Australian commentators".

    Do you ever listen to ABC radio commentary? Give it a go and you might just find that when you say "modern Australian commentators" you probably mean the "Australian commentators on a certain TV network".

    Bring back the real commentators!

  • jamshed on February 2, 2010, 7:34 GMT

    There was one Shane Warne.He got away with everything,text messages to nurses,involvement with bookies,using banned substances etc. etc. So,what's the big deal with Afridi ?

  • TAREK on February 2, 2010, 7:50 GMT

    Great article Andrew. I must admit, it gets a bit too much at times the way the Aussie comentators have gone about their ways for years and Mark Nicholas has been a blessing in disguise over this series. As far as Shahid and his antics are concerned i must admit that although it was blatant cheating and being a professional cricketer myself you always do these "things" on the sly, Shahid must have been in Noddy land to think no one would notice what he had done. then again thats Afridi for you and i must admit I had a chuckle or three. thats the true Pakistani way. You should play to win and win alone. Yousuf should learn a few tricks from Afridi because he captaincy was diabolical!

  • Khan on February 2, 2010, 7:55 GMT

    Thank goodness, someone has finally come out and 'ad a go' at these guys!!

  • martin on February 2, 2010, 8:10 GMT

    Luckily here in Australia we can press the mute button and listen to the ABC commentary on the radio..... beautiful.

  • Cook on February 2, 2010, 8:29 GMT

    What a strange article, complaining about the commentators being too manly. I love the commentating, because they are down to Earth and they are in a normal persons language. I'm not sure Andrew what you want them to do, maybe have them turn up to the commentary box in ballet outfits. Maybe we should get a bunch of male fashion designers to commentate on the cricket, that might be more to your liking ?

  • Jonathon on February 2, 2010, 8:30 GMT

    Too right... these guys have been doing my head in over the summer. I really like watching cricket, but this trio have forced me to switch off at times. They sound very compromised... I have a suspicion that channel nine gets a tax break for manly, nationalistic commentary:)

  • P.Satish on February 2, 2010, 8:32 GMT

    Good timing considering this was something I wanted to put on the Cricinfo Inbox. The Channel Nine team has an innate inability to recognise that there are two teams out there playing a game and their blind defence of someone like Haddin and Johnson during the Benn incident has been most distasteful. I cannot figure out who is more irritating: Martin Tyler when ManU are winning or the Channel Nine team when...well, always.

  • RAVI on February 2, 2010, 8:41 GMT

    OHH SO TRU!!