Australia v India 2011-12 January 28, 2012

When will the Indians feel embarrassed?

Because it seems the 4-0 whitewash merely disappointed them
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Thursday, 26th January Today Giles “Show me the money” Clarke issued a dire warning. Ever vigilant, like Batman in a pin-striped suit, he’s identified the biggest threat to cricket, the looming danger that could destroy our beautiful game and he wants to tell us all about it.

Is it match-fixing? Nope. Twenty20 overkill? No. What about the ongoing DRS controversy, with its corrosive effect on the authority of umpires? Not that either. The imbalance in wealth between rich and poor cricket boards? The plight of Test cricket? The threat of Premier League football? No, no and no.

It seems the biggest danger to cricket is… people watching cricket on the internet. Now I’ll be honest, until recently (this morning) I didn’t really know what pirate streaming was. It sounds like an extreme form of white-water rafting restricted to members of the piratical fraternity. In a better world, that’s what it would be.

But no. Pirate streaming is the broadcasting of cricket coverage over the internet by people who have no permission to do so. And, make no mistake, it is evil.

“They take money out of the game without commercial benefits to us.”

So says Giles. But is he right? He’s assuming that people who watch illegal footage would otherwise be forking out for a Sky subscription. But surely, if you could afford to buy a Sky subscription, you’d er… do that, rather than choose to watch jerky footage of a blurry Test match that looks like its being filmed through the balcony window of a nearby hotel?

Is it an irritation to the ECB? Yes. Ever so slightly illegal? Certainly. But the biggest danger that cricket faces? Come now, Mr Clarke, you’re being hysterical. It’s like me suggesting that the biggest threat to cricket is the impulse to make as much money as possible in the shortest possible time, regardless of the effect on the sport, its legacy or the wider cricket public (see Stanford, A).

Friday, 27th January When I first saw the headline, I could feel the gas being turned up beneath the simmering broth of dissatisfaction that has been bubbling away on my mental stove throughout this one-sided Australian-based farce:

“Ashwin says players disappointed, not embarrassed”.

It immediately begged the question: if losing a second away series 4-0 does not embarrass them, what would? Pictures of MS Dhoni as a baby? A Justin Bieber tune discovered on Ishant’s ipod? The revelation that Zaheer used to run a lingerie boutique or that Sachin is an avid reader of the works of Mr J Archer?

But when I calmed down a little and gave it some thought, I realised that Ashwin’s statement is in the classical philosophical tradition of Stoicism. As Marcus Aurelius said at his press conference after the battle of Carnuntum in AD170, “No, I am not embarrassed that the Germans have sneaked across the Danube while I wasn’t looking. If the rational mind of a man refuses to accept embarrassment, then he is not embarrassed. And everyone knows we don’t fight as well away from home.”

In any case, it would hardly be fair to pick on Ashwin. Not only is he the team's deputy nightwatchman, he appears to be the regular press conference watchman, having been to more of these excruciating recrimination and cliché fests than any other member of the squad. How many more different ways can he find to explain why they lost in three days, why Sachin hasn’t scored his hundred yet and why his captain puts most of the fielders on the fence as soon as Australia hit fifty?

Still, I’ve a horrible feeling that his sterling work in front of the microphone won’t do him any good come scapegoat time. Virat looks to have scrambled to safety by scoring some runs and since eight-elevenths of the Indian team appears undroppable, Ashwin must already feel like the next sacrificial victim tied to the tree waiting nervously for The Srikkanth, the terrifying career-eating monster with his deadly axe.

Andrew Hughes is a writer currently based in England

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • ret on January 31, 2012, 7:55 GMT

    @Raven. After Australia were bowled out for 47 in South Africa they responded by winning the next test and squaring the series. That kind of performance tends to ease embarrassment.

  • Vivek Chhajer on January 31, 2012, 5:20 GMT

    Atleast Ashwin is thinking positvely about it. He is not the swiftest of movers or a classic off spinner but he gave his best in trying conditions. Losing eight test matches on a trot is obviously pretty bad but that's what separates a great player from an ordinary one or an average team from a great one.

    I am sure India will rise up the rankings as most of their matches are in the sub-continent. England wins in England, Aus in Aus and they are deemed unbeatable and great, but when they travel to sub-continent, they are resigned to the fact that they are going to lose.

    However, I do feel that to be the best team, India needs to win abroad and that can only be achieved by having bowlers who can bowl opposition out under 300 on lively pitches. Batting will take care of itself but India needs to produce good fast bowlers.

    Losing 8 matches does take its toll on the mental strength but sometimes its down to talent & skill than just motivation and dedication. Nothing to do with IPL.

  • Jarrod on January 31, 2012, 2:06 GMT

    The most one sided series in Australia since the Ashes white wash on 05-06.

    I respect England for beating us, as they were a formidable fo.

    But beating no destroying the overrating cocky indians, just made my Summer.

    Sorry India you cant Buy back your No 1 status lol.

  • Namuchi on January 30, 2012, 12:03 GMT

    RUBBISH TO READ ALL THESE. If players not performed - IT IS JUST A NON-PERFORMANCE WHICH CALLS FOR PUNISHMENT. THAT IS ALL. It is for the players to accept the punishment, may be work on weakness and bounce back if opportunity is given. What is the need for feeling EMBARRASSED?? Why should the bowler go through AXING? If performance is the parameter, THEN ALL SHOULD BE AXED INCLUDING VIRAT KHOLI WHOM WE SAY HAS PERFORMED. Who is a performer? To me Dhoni is a performer - He played a Pivital role in lifting the world cup!! He is a performer. Virat Kholi DID NOT PERFORM IN THE FIRST TEST MATCH - HAD HE PERFORMED WELL, we would have won the first test match which would have turned around the entire stuff. Therefore, performance means - (a) A PLAYER PERFORMS AT THE RIGHT TIME AND (b) ALL PLAYERS PERFORM MODERATELY. NEITHER HAPPENED. Why are we talking about one or two players getting axed? Shame that nobody has any sense to even understand this. Goodluck Team India.

  • Dean on January 29, 2012, 7:02 GMT

    I was laughing through most of the series watching the "Indian superstars" collapse like a bunch of pre-school girls. Can't wait for the ODI series.

  • Vikram on January 29, 2012, 6:42 GMT

    Mr. Hughes, thank you for your sardonic take on the state of cricket, I do hope the Indian cricket team and Giles Clark, read this article of yours, they could really use your healthy dose of reality. Thank you.

  • jogesh99 on January 29, 2012, 6:00 GMT

    Meanwhile England are as emphatically not embarrassed in Abu Dhabi.

  • Raven on January 29, 2012, 4:39 GMT

    I guess they were never once bowled out for 47 or needed a number 11 to get them from 29/9 to 47. Talk about embarrasment?! Australia in South Africa, not so long ago!

  • Dishum on January 29, 2012, 4:15 GMT

    The answer to the question / headline : After India lose the next two T20's against the Aussies and then NOT make final of the CB ODI series.

  • ravichandran on January 29, 2012, 3:50 GMT

    A lot of people think that Ashwin is in the team because of srikkanth.they forget that he took 21 wickets against the west indies.by the way srikkanth's son anirudh is not even in the Tamil nadu team.So i dont think that srikkanth wields any undue influence in selection matters.

  • ret on January 31, 2012, 7:55 GMT

    @Raven. After Australia were bowled out for 47 in South Africa they responded by winning the next test and squaring the series. That kind of performance tends to ease embarrassment.

  • Vivek Chhajer on January 31, 2012, 5:20 GMT

    Atleast Ashwin is thinking positvely about it. He is not the swiftest of movers or a classic off spinner but he gave his best in trying conditions. Losing eight test matches on a trot is obviously pretty bad but that's what separates a great player from an ordinary one or an average team from a great one.

    I am sure India will rise up the rankings as most of their matches are in the sub-continent. England wins in England, Aus in Aus and they are deemed unbeatable and great, but when they travel to sub-continent, they are resigned to the fact that they are going to lose.

    However, I do feel that to be the best team, India needs to win abroad and that can only be achieved by having bowlers who can bowl opposition out under 300 on lively pitches. Batting will take care of itself but India needs to produce good fast bowlers.

    Losing 8 matches does take its toll on the mental strength but sometimes its down to talent & skill than just motivation and dedication. Nothing to do with IPL.

  • Jarrod on January 31, 2012, 2:06 GMT

    The most one sided series in Australia since the Ashes white wash on 05-06.

    I respect England for beating us, as they were a formidable fo.

    But beating no destroying the overrating cocky indians, just made my Summer.

    Sorry India you cant Buy back your No 1 status lol.

  • Namuchi on January 30, 2012, 12:03 GMT

    RUBBISH TO READ ALL THESE. If players not performed - IT IS JUST A NON-PERFORMANCE WHICH CALLS FOR PUNISHMENT. THAT IS ALL. It is for the players to accept the punishment, may be work on weakness and bounce back if opportunity is given. What is the need for feeling EMBARRASSED?? Why should the bowler go through AXING? If performance is the parameter, THEN ALL SHOULD BE AXED INCLUDING VIRAT KHOLI WHOM WE SAY HAS PERFORMED. Who is a performer? To me Dhoni is a performer - He played a Pivital role in lifting the world cup!! He is a performer. Virat Kholi DID NOT PERFORM IN THE FIRST TEST MATCH - HAD HE PERFORMED WELL, we would have won the first test match which would have turned around the entire stuff. Therefore, performance means - (a) A PLAYER PERFORMS AT THE RIGHT TIME AND (b) ALL PLAYERS PERFORM MODERATELY. NEITHER HAPPENED. Why are we talking about one or two players getting axed? Shame that nobody has any sense to even understand this. Goodluck Team India.

  • Dean on January 29, 2012, 7:02 GMT

    I was laughing through most of the series watching the "Indian superstars" collapse like a bunch of pre-school girls. Can't wait for the ODI series.

  • Vikram on January 29, 2012, 6:42 GMT

    Mr. Hughes, thank you for your sardonic take on the state of cricket, I do hope the Indian cricket team and Giles Clark, read this article of yours, they could really use your healthy dose of reality. Thank you.

  • jogesh99 on January 29, 2012, 6:00 GMT

    Meanwhile England are as emphatically not embarrassed in Abu Dhabi.

  • Raven on January 29, 2012, 4:39 GMT

    I guess they were never once bowled out for 47 or needed a number 11 to get them from 29/9 to 47. Talk about embarrasment?! Australia in South Africa, not so long ago!

  • Dishum on January 29, 2012, 4:15 GMT

    The answer to the question / headline : After India lose the next two T20's against the Aussies and then NOT make final of the CB ODI series.

  • ravichandran on January 29, 2012, 3:50 GMT

    A lot of people think that Ashwin is in the team because of srikkanth.they forget that he took 21 wickets against the west indies.by the way srikkanth's son anirudh is not even in the Tamil nadu team.So i dont think that srikkanth wields any undue influence in selection matters.

  • CricFan on January 29, 2012, 3:40 GMT

    1. Watching cricket on internet is common in places like USA where legal streaming is too expensive. 2a. Is it a bad idea to get new top 7 (that includes MSD) for the next test? None of them deserve another game and need to spend a full season playing domestic 4 day game. 2b. Most fans of Indian cricket know that nothing is going to change; more t20 and 50 over games to follow and test embarrassments will be long forgotten.

  • Daniel on January 29, 2012, 3:30 GMT

    I think its quite clear that you are more likely to win at home in a test series, due to the home advantage. But if you lose a series so convincingly, like India has done, you have to put it down to poor shot selection, the T20 disease rubbing off on the test format, and ageing veterans who, once great, are now way past it and can't even ONCE apply a joint effort between them to prevent an Australian win, when it really matters.

  • Azeez on January 29, 2012, 2:29 GMT

    To Indians, its definitely not embarrassing! The way Kohli celebrated his 100 by swearing and jumping up and down as if he had rolled Australia under him was extremely embarrassing as a spectator. His team was some 120 short of being followed on at that stage! What a disgrace!

  • Rahul on January 29, 2012, 1:41 GMT

    I just don't get Mr. Andrew and his partymen commenting here. Agreed India have been honestly disappointing. Also agreed to an extent, some Indians share the shock as to how we thought a series win might not be enough (yes...we will never change!!) against this rebuilding Aussie team. But to go as far as telling we should embarrassed more to get up early and follow the match amidst tensions in life????? What tension? Who asked you to add to it?

    @every commenter (spec. a Mr. Aravind): If you feel supporting them with added tensions every ball, don't do it mate. But if you still do so, don't claim you performed better than the Team in Blue. Pathetic!! Height of Self Glorification!!

  • Shabut on January 29, 2012, 1:29 GMT

    People are sick and tired of these Indian players with inflated egos. Their ego is getting in their way, unless they realize and start respecting other oppositions and accept their failures they will be thrashed around the world for a long time to come.

  • Poligar on January 29, 2012, 0:43 GMT

    Most of all, those who do "Pitch fixing" ought to be embarrassed. In Dubai, the world no-1 team collapses and faces a "brown-wash" by Pakistan, the team that was white-washed earlier. I am sure the next time Aussies visit India, a "brown-wash" awaits them! We need neutral venues and level playing fields.

  • duncan on January 28, 2012, 23:58 GMT

    Well said on the streaming issue.

    Quite clearly the biggest danger to cricket are actually leading administrators such as Clarke who are mired in ignorance and greed.

    Live streaming will not be beaten by cricket, instead it must be harnessed by cricket as a powerful tool for spreading the game globally and generating revenue.

    Welcome to the future Mr Clarke.

  • rao on January 28, 2012, 23:50 GMT

    With the introduction of 20-20 and ODI games,there is definitely its effect on test cricket.Spectators,administrators and players are all in a hurry to finish the games in a short time.Most of the test matches in recent times are finshed in maximum 3 or 4 days.The recent india- Australia, india-West indies,Pak-England,Newzealand-Zimbabwe. Australia-S.A, Sri lanka-S.A, are over in 3 or 4 days. I t is better to reduce the test match time to 4 days only to make it more competetive so that the captains can be tested in their declarations of the innings.This can be tried just like the removal of rest days of past test matches

  • Tony Rai on January 28, 2012, 23:20 GMT

    ...and i thought Ijaz Butt was the only one of his kind...

  • Mike Miller on January 28, 2012, 23:14 GMT

    A very funny and entertaining article; I wish it had been longer! However let's not get carried away by an overseas series loss by India. There have been multiple such capitulations over the years, and just this week by England & Zimbabwe. It's surely only home slaughters that will generate selectorial intervention in the careers of long-term champions.

  • Mark on January 28, 2012, 23:12 GMT

    Indian players and fans have overblown idea of India's strength at home. They lose at home too (AUS 2004/2005 just to name one). What happens when India next loses at home? What's the excuse then?

  • ABC on January 28, 2012, 22:38 GMT

    @Lord Emsworth Australia won in India in 2004 and came very close in 2001. In 2008 they had just lost most of their great players and were no match for a very strong Indian team. But at least Australia put up a fight when they tour.

  • suresh on January 28, 2012, 20:41 GMT

    I agree with sehwag. sachin , laxman & dravid still has a lot of cricket in them. sachin must try to get to 20000 runs , dravid 17000 & laxman 10000. sachin must try to get to 75 hundreds in tests & 75 in odis. as an indian i'm not worried about win/lose ratio. i want to see my heroes grab every batting record thats in offer. long live sachin..sachin....sacin......sacin

  • Waqas roy on January 28, 2012, 19:58 GMT

    That's horrible but true reflection for overrated indians.

  • Andrew'sNewBest Friend on January 28, 2012, 19:11 GMT

    Who's Giles Clarke? He didn't even send me a Christmas card last year. Damn cheapskate! Andrew, keep on rolling. Your doing good pal.

  • Muralee on January 28, 2012, 17:24 GMT

    Ashwin is not so special anyways, so this much discussion about is not worth it. But he is not the only guy to be kicked out, The lists starts from Dhoni, followed by Sehwag, Gambhir and Zaheer Khan the others atleast tried their bit.

  • Ahsan on January 28, 2012, 17:14 GMT

    Justib Beiber's tune discovered on Ishant's ipod?? ROFL.....can't stop laughing.

  • whiz on January 28, 2012, 16:59 GMT

    dudes! andy is not picking on Ashwin or Srikanth but on the eight-eleventh of the indian team which is undropapble.

  • Adhiraj Singh on January 28, 2012, 16:17 GMT

    The Wall will rise again... The Master will rule again... The Wrist of gold will be special again... Thou shall be champions again....

  • Ram on January 28, 2012, 16:06 GMT

    "We are not embarrased. We have never been embarassed. We will never be embarassed".

    "We leave it to our crazy fans."!!!

  • Ragav on January 28, 2012, 15:47 GMT

    Ashwin bashers, I seriously doubt your cricketing acumen. "Australia is a graveyard for spinners"---Mutthaiya Muralidharan. In Australia only fast bowlers survive. So singling out Ashwin is unfair. Also, it's a coincidence that both Srikanth and Ashwin speak the same language. Where were you guys when Harbhajan was not performing for decades and was still in the team????

  • PK on January 28, 2012, 15:31 GMT

    Hi Friends, Most of you don't understand it is not about losing, It is how you lose. We expect some fighting spirit from Indians. Like some fiery bouncers atleast to the aussie tailenders. We can win all the time but we should not give up until we die as aussie's do....:-(

  • Abdul Hameed on January 28, 2012, 15:22 GMT

    Hilarious. You got great sense of humor Andy. Guess what could have been done with Pakistani players, if they were winning in home and being white washed abroad?

  • waterbuffalo on January 28, 2012, 14:33 GMT

    They'll feel embarrassed now! Pakistan 2; England 0! Woo Hoo! (well done to Panesar) We did it! We did it! Woo Hoo! Kohli and Sharma should be fast tracked in immediately. Forget seniority, India, it is archaic and medieval.

  • aiz on January 28, 2012, 14:31 GMT

    Do'nt worry India. Simply invite Bangladesh,Zimbabve or West Indies to improve regain ICC ratings and give confidence to your SUPER STARS

  • Linus Fernandes on January 28, 2012, 13:51 GMT

    Unfortunately, we get the feeling that the players will feel embarrassed only if a similar performance is repeated in the IPL. World T20 campaign disasters too have failed to chasten our players. Is it going to come to a sorry pass that Team India will only win abroad or on sub-continental pitches?

  • Raghunathan A on January 28, 2012, 13:50 GMT

    We Indians Usually Praises the players like god when They won the World Cup.. But after 2 series loss away we started criticizing each and every player in the team? Is that correct.. Players need support from the fans. After all you are not going to support England or Aussie in a cricket match being an Indian.. They are human beings and one team has to lose in a game..

  • Sadanand Gowda on January 28, 2012, 13:31 GMT

    i really cannot understand why Ishant Sharma was picked for the 4th test...when he was not getting any wickets in the last 3 tests.They should have tried Irfan Pathan....anyways Ishant's going wicketless....what worse even Irfan could have done tht...but they should have atleast tried.

  • Aditya on January 28, 2012, 13:29 GMT

    "The imbalance in wealth between rich and poor cricket boards" - Haha. Funny how the beacons of financial industry, which otherwise lecture India and others on capitalism, talk about socialism when it comes to the cricket boards.

  • Alex on January 28, 2012, 13:27 GMT

    The downfall of the once great Indians is solely because of IPL. 70-90 matches can make anyone burn. If the Indians (not the team, but the nation) want their team to do something better then they need to do two things. Boycott IPL, totally. Don't go to stadiums, don't watch them on TV either. And secondly the Indians need to stand up to BCCI and ask them to accept DRS.

  • PD Pateli on January 28, 2012, 13:25 GMT

    Spot on ! The embarassing thing would be to lose at home, or worse still,lose a central contract. But, nothing would be more embarassing like losing a brand ambassdor status to another icon.If you really want to hurt then take it away just on the excuse of poor on field performances.

    Now, that will be really,really MEAN !!! Wicked.

  • saleem on January 28, 2012, 12:55 GMT

    and more to that... Pakistan win against Eng.

  • Krish on January 28, 2012, 12:51 GMT

    Great comment Mr.Faisal Naqvi.Cant stop my laughter ,should contribute to page 2

  • saleem on January 28, 2012, 12:47 GMT

    and more to that... Pakistan win against Eng.

  • Sai on January 28, 2012, 12:46 GMT

    We are already embarrassed. In fact if we are not embarrassed after two whitewashes then nothing else will embarrass us!

  • TJ on January 28, 2012, 12:43 GMT

    I hope Giles "Show Me The Money" Clarke isn't thinking about lobbying for SOPA, PIPA types of laws

  • Sagir Parkar on January 28, 2012, 12:29 GMT

    hey !!!! there is nothing wrong in reading Jeffrey Archer's works !!!!!

    loved the written piece though :) pleasure as usual..

  • Vishal on January 28, 2012, 12:18 GMT

    @Lords Emsworth: Last time I checked India failed to whitewash even West Indies at home. Australia has never lost 4-0 in India, or 3-0 in 3 match series. Embarassing is not the result, but the manner of defeat and lack of any spine.

  • Pushkar on January 28, 2012, 12:14 GMT

    The comment"almost eight-eleventh is undroppable' hits the bulls eye.. I am an avid Indian fan but I haven't watched a single India-Australia test. Instead I was watching Pakistan-England and desperately hoping that Pakistan wins each test. Why? Because it lends support to my attempts to console myself that all teams are lousy outside their own backyard, except maybe Pakistan because they are absolutely unpredictable, just as likely to win anyone as they are capable of losing at home.

  • Mahesh on January 28, 2012, 11:33 GMT

    Tests are passe. We are going to win the ODIs. After all who cares for the white-flanneled game? That's the reason we conceded the #1 spot. Dont admonish them at this time - TI needs our encouragement and reassurance.

  • Anonymous on January 28, 2012, 10:54 GMT

    LOL

  • nikhil on January 28, 2012, 10:46 GMT

    my thoughts exactly........ when i read that article.

  • DC on January 28, 2012, 8:49 GMT

    Andrew,Mr.Ash win plays for the Chennai Super Kings. He has nothing to fear from Kris Srikanth.

  • Aravind on January 28, 2012, 8:46 GMT

    As fans we should feel embarassed to watch the nations's so called professionalk sportsman( pls note this is playing for country not for any cash rich club) sporting the proud blue(a counter term to Baggy Green) from so early in the morning and watch if they were would be tunraround somewhere admist all other tensions and work. it is time for indian fans to stay away from cricket till someone plays/puts his country first before money and prepare and play to make the country proud.

    Cheers Aravind V

  • Bala on January 28, 2012, 8:37 GMT

    Dude.. Ashwin is in the team because of Srikkanth.. He aint getting anywhere till Srikkanth at top. Once Srikkanth goes, some other selector from some other part of India will come up and Tamil players would be facing the axe.

  • Lord Emsworth on January 28, 2012, 8:31 GMT

    India lose in Australia, Australia lose in India. What's embarrasing about that ? Its not cricketing acumen thats on line, its just that the conditions are different.

  • Faisal Naqvi on January 28, 2012, 8:31 GMT

    Indian players are like faithful husbands. They only perform at home.

  • Swaminathan on January 28, 2012, 8:26 GMT

    True .. Clarke's statement merits a hearty laugh ... Funny ... but I don't think Ashwin needs to worry about his place in any of the three formats ... it is assured ... he has shown that he is more capable than expected ...

  • Irfan on January 28, 2012, 8:09 GMT

    "Ashwin must already feel like the next sacrificial victim tied to the tree waiting nervously for The Srikkanth, the terrifying career-eating monster with his deadly axe" ROFL

  • Sanj on January 28, 2012, 8:09 GMT

    Lunatic (Ashwin) has taken over the assylum that's the Indian team.

  • SRT_GENIUS on January 28, 2012, 8:05 GMT

    "Ashwin must already feel like the next sacrificial victim tied to the tree waiting nervously for The Srikkanth, "... I don't think that'll ever happen!

  • Anton on January 28, 2012, 7:41 GMT

    Hilarious Andy, especially the "pirate streaming" bit. This quote comes to mind about the Giles Clarke statement

    Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt - Mark Twain

  • Shoaib on January 28, 2012, 7:35 GMT

    What a pity both for ECB and Team India.......

  • Poochandi on January 28, 2012, 7:32 GMT

    hilarious at the end

  • Jacob on January 28, 2012, 7:29 GMT

    In comedy we so often hear painful truth. (and comedy. sometimes.)

    I'm embarrassed for Ashwin. I'm embarrassed that I thought India could manage 1-1 or 2-1 against Australia. After all, Australia were just demolished by Doug Bracewell (in his 3rd test), Chris Martin (pushing 50 I think?),and Dean Brownlie (who?). Now that's embarrassment.

  • vijay on January 28, 2012, 7:29 GMT

    this had o happen....The Indian team's chief numerologist had forewarned the board,white is going to be unlucky for Dhoni's boys at the end of the Mayan calender, post 2011 the team will do well in white shirts only if they donated scarlet red blankets to an upright bearded man who sits under a banyan tree

  • Kuldeep Singh on January 28, 2012, 7:28 GMT

    Very nice article and how true! Indian cricket team is in self denial mode. They keep making the same mistakes, unwilling to learn from it. They din't throw a single puch when hit by a well prepared opposition. This team has disappointed crowds in England and now in Australia. Both countries warmed to the great repuations of these Indian players but now it is all blown up in the 8-0 loss.

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  • Kuldeep Singh on January 28, 2012, 7:28 GMT

    Very nice article and how true! Indian cricket team is in self denial mode. They keep making the same mistakes, unwilling to learn from it. They din't throw a single puch when hit by a well prepared opposition. This team has disappointed crowds in England and now in Australia. Both countries warmed to the great repuations of these Indian players but now it is all blown up in the 8-0 loss.

  • vijay on January 28, 2012, 7:29 GMT

    this had o happen....The Indian team's chief numerologist had forewarned the board,white is going to be unlucky for Dhoni's boys at the end of the Mayan calender, post 2011 the team will do well in white shirts only if they donated scarlet red blankets to an upright bearded man who sits under a banyan tree

  • Jacob on January 28, 2012, 7:29 GMT

    In comedy we so often hear painful truth. (and comedy. sometimes.)

    I'm embarrassed for Ashwin. I'm embarrassed that I thought India could manage 1-1 or 2-1 against Australia. After all, Australia were just demolished by Doug Bracewell (in his 3rd test), Chris Martin (pushing 50 I think?),and Dean Brownlie (who?). Now that's embarrassment.

  • Poochandi on January 28, 2012, 7:32 GMT

    hilarious at the end

  • Shoaib on January 28, 2012, 7:35 GMT

    What a pity both for ECB and Team India.......

  • Anton on January 28, 2012, 7:41 GMT

    Hilarious Andy, especially the "pirate streaming" bit. This quote comes to mind about the Giles Clarke statement

    Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt - Mark Twain

  • SRT_GENIUS on January 28, 2012, 8:05 GMT

    "Ashwin must already feel like the next sacrificial victim tied to the tree waiting nervously for The Srikkanth, "... I don't think that'll ever happen!

  • Sanj on January 28, 2012, 8:09 GMT

    Lunatic (Ashwin) has taken over the assylum that's the Indian team.

  • Irfan on January 28, 2012, 8:09 GMT

    "Ashwin must already feel like the next sacrificial victim tied to the tree waiting nervously for The Srikkanth, the terrifying career-eating monster with his deadly axe" ROFL

  • Swaminathan on January 28, 2012, 8:26 GMT

    True .. Clarke's statement merits a hearty laugh ... Funny ... but I don't think Ashwin needs to worry about his place in any of the three formats ... it is assured ... he has shown that he is more capable than expected ...