The Surfer

Against Sri Lanka, even after the bowlers had done such a professional job, there was still a danger that a side adept in strangling the opposition on slow and grabby pitches might make the chase a cumbersome affair. Inside eight overs, Kieswetter and Lumb had consigned that idea to the bin, their opening partnership proving so confident and incendiary that it left a relative stroll for Kevin Pietersen. He, nonetheless, batted with such massive authority that he has now scored 95 from 59 balls either side of the birth of young Dylan.

If injury is his paramount concern, it doesn't explain why he would choose the shortest form in which to draw the line, rather than the more draining versions. Maybe he just doesn't fancy it any more. Perhaps he sees his career re-energised with a change of focus.

Where McCullum is at fault is in not speaking out to clear the air. In this regard he has been badly advised. He is a forthright personality. Silence, like stodginess at the crease, is not his natural game.

It isn’t just that the IPL is leaving players injured or fatigued. Players, as Sangakkara had the good sense to state, have the right to decide whether or not to play IPL. But is that a decision you can leave to individual players? Maybe a Tendulkar or a Dhoni can afford to sit out of a future IPL to preserve himself. But a Rohit Sharma, a Piyush Chawla, a Zaheer Khan? I mention those three names in particular because, if you go back to your T20 world cup footage, theirs are the chubbiest cheeks and they are some of the people Kirsten is complaining about.

If you share the spoils, then it’s only fair that you share the blame. For the BCCI, which has stoked systemic greed, there are two ways forward: it can either let things be and hope India’s batsmen blast everything out of sight on flat home pitches in next year’s 50-over World Cup. Luckily, the event precedes the IPL, offering a perfect opportunity to brush things under the carpet. Or Shashank Manohar & Co can start identifying areas which need overhauling. It’s all right asking players to be professional, to be committed to a level of excellence that goes above commercial considerations, but the Board should remember professionalism is environmental. A look in the mirror wouldn’t hurt.

Later they both described how they felt, as though they were moving in slow-motion, unable to change the tempo or affect the flow of the contest. Crowd noises seemed muffled, words of advice only half penetrated their heads as though trapped outside by a mucous membrane. Defeat was still such a long way off as they entered their state of choke that nobody believed it was inevitable, or even likely. Except, that is, for Norman and Novotna.

So you tell yourself, 'I'll go down for an hour', only, it's never an hour. Before you know it, it's 4am and you're heading back to your room, hurrying to pack up and head to another city, another game, another sponsor's commitment (which are endless), another shoot possibly and yes, another party. The problem is that you can never switch off mentally. Not on the field, not during the hours spent in airports when fans and the airport staff want an autograph, photograph or just a chat and not in the parties, where you'll be introduced to important people who will listen to you and perhaps, be important contacts who will make money for you.

Like Rohit Sharma, the right-hander Ian Chappell once said could take over after Tendulkar. His rivals think of him as “talented but compulsive.” So give him the short stuff and he can be lulled into a flashy stroke. Sharma then, the verdict is, can face the short ball, but can’t resist it. The most common idea put out by the foreign players, regardless of the Indian tyro being discussed was, “Push them back, make them play”. This one’s a story of two halves.

Long time followers of England are used to experiencing to a range of emotions. Angst. Despair. Irritation. Occasionally even elation. But not many have felt anything quite like this before. Not only have England played their way to a first global tournament final since 2004, but they have done it with a conviction and efficiency that feels entirely alien. So this is what consistency feels like. "I'm going to sound like a broken record," said Paul Collingwood as he sang his side's praises yet again post-match.

Both previous World T20 finals were all-Asian affairs, with Pakistan the common factor. Since last June though, Australia have cottoned on to what makes a T20 side tick, while England have also been strengthened by the emergence of a couple of impact players who have transformed a middle-of-the-road outfit into one with a genuine chance of ending their title drought in the international arena.

The thought of another audacious blond bowling leg-spin for Australia next summer is enough to send generations of English batsmen into therapy, but Chappell predicted Smith's entrance to Test cricket could more closely emulate Richie Benaud than Shane Warne.

The fielding, so eye-catchingly good in South Africa in 2007, has regressed back to the mediocrity of old. How would it not? There are at least a couple of men in the squad who could auction for Weight Watchers' before-and-after ads given the amount of inches they've put on around the waist. Lard might not have inhibited Colin Milburn or Inzamam-ul-Haq unduly in their pomp, but in a form of the game where fitness and agility are paramount – witness the way David Warner prowls the outfield – double-pillow paunches and punch-drunk reactions are inexcusable. Ravindra Jadeja, so poor with the ball against Australia and West Indies, can thank his lucky stars for the comically inept Saeed Ajmal, or else he'd have had the Worst Fielder award to take home as well.