The Surfer

Despite India's fine win in the opener over Pakistan at Melbourne, England had good reason to fancy their chances against the Indians considering their recent success. But for them to say that their spin attack was superior to India's proved too hard to swallow for Shastri, who remembers reading a passage from the match preview which said, "Our spinners better than India and we should put it across."

But nothing life threatening is going on in this superstar moment, as far as we can make out. As embarrassed as Bingle is, this is hardly an overwhelming disaster. Clarke, a team leader, has important and well paid responsibilities to his country, teammates and the sports fans of New Zealand. Battle on through, pal.

Is some enterprising soul going to now try and convince us that some sort of trickle-down effect from the rich coffers of the IPL/BCCI is going to better things all around? Or are these vast sums more a reflection of what the bosses of the IPL think their scheme deserves?

Allan Border once dropped a timeless quote: "If you want to go the long journey in cricket, you either have to have a smooth relationship or be single - anything in between is a nightmare". Through no fault of his own, Michael Clarke is caught in the territory no man wants to visit. Clarke must get his home life in order and, if needs-be, take a decent break from the game.

It will be interesting to see how India react to the appointment of Howard. His track record as a supporter of apartheid and white rule in Zimbabwe is well known. That alone could bring him into conflict with India, especially if his unstated brief is to create just such a conflict and put India in their place. The Test cricket world can be split five and four on the basis of colour if we leave Zimbabwe out for the moment (but Howard can’t, the ICC will have to deal with that country).

There is thus a historical inevitability about Dhoni’s elevation. It is the story of small town India grabbing chances denied for a number of reasons from the need for the rulers to maintain exclusivity to a lack of infrastructure to diffidence brought on by years of being outside the charmed circle. The progression from royalty to the middle classes to the also-rans appears ordained when viewed from this side of evolution.

This series will be a test of character for England – another fortnight of shuttling between Dhaka and Chittagong – and a test of their reserves, as their fast bowling resources have drained away with injuries; the inevitable result of making England play all year round, as if the ECB didn't already know. But the two Tests won't be a proper test of cricket skills: for England it will be like an exam in which you are given an occasional look at the answers.