The Surfer

To watch the batsmen pushing and prodding against Johan Botha and even JP Duminy in recent meetings was to see supposedly formidable batsmen reduced to a state of semi-paralysis. From the top downwards, the batting lacked inventiveness, placement, boldness and intelligence.

There was the infamous "milkshake incident" that resulted in the governing body hanging him out to dry with a release to the world's cricketing media announcing an independent inquisition by Hugh Rennie QC, an over-the-top disciplinary hearing, and a needless fine of $1000 for breaching his contract and "bringing the game of cricket into disrepute". All for the sake of a home video which he admitted existed, although it never saw the light of day and was never in the league of Pam and Tommy proportions (?!) anyway. The worst element here was the genuine lack of support for a player who had made a mistake and could have done with a hand rather than all-out vilification.

Strauss and Flower make a dynamic duo
From day one, when he took over in circumstances in which he had no desire to take over, Andy Flower has cut an impressive figure. England have gone through a tumultuous period of late and it has been difficult for players and staff. Flower has developed a strong relationship with Andrew Strauss, who himself demonstrated that he might (perhaps should) have been captain two years ago. They brought to their roles a well-rounded but hard-nosed aspect. They showed they were unafraid to take tough decisions – for instance, the dropping of Ian Bell and Monty Panesar, two players who still have big futures – and they have stamped their authority on the England squad.

On the morning of Srinath's first game, in Sri Lanka, the umpire Mark Benson pulled out and flew back to London, so he is used to thinking on his feet. On Friday he has to consult with the umpires and ascertain that one side is refusing to play before awarding the match to the other. Under ICC's new regulations, Srinath could also initiate disciplinary action against Chris Gayle and his players, which makes a boycott even less likely, as they would end up in front of a legal committee headed by a judge.

A skipper should be able to tell off his batsmen if he thinks they have not played responsibly. How can we expect Sehwag to have been able to convey this message when he took a swipe at Vettori soon after hitting him for six? And he did this when the only result India could realistically play for was a draw after having conceded more runs than water flowing down the Waikato.

He can bat – seriously bat, and has a technique so uncluttered it looks like a team of reality TV cleaners have just come through.

Half Man Half Biscuit have made a greater contribution to the sports pop music canon than any other band. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. Anyway, despite the respective merits of Let's Not (Vanburn Holder), and Hedley Verityesque, the best of HMHB's efforts is surely this ditty about bumping into England off-spinner Fred Titmus in the corner shop.

Why shouldn't Pietersen confess his homesickness? That is not weakness. If it were he could not have raced to 4000 Test runs quicker than any bar The Don. Professionalism does not result in emotional lobotomies. Sportsmen still bleed like the rest of us and ten weeks away from home is no holiday no matter which Caribbean beach you are standing on.

His admirers contend that this is, if not quite admirable, certainly indispensable to the Pietersen phenomenon; that his view of the universe as Pietersen-centric is part of the reason why he is able to bat with the swagger and confidence that strikes such fear into the heart of opposition captains. Take away the selfishness, they say, and you take away the genius.

If New Zealand were serious about trying to beat the Indians in Wellington (and previously for that matter), they would have torn up whatever rule book they are being forced to operate by, got out the chequebook, and moved heaven and earth to sign Bond up for at least one last 150km/h fling of the red leather.

Ryder, 24, and Gambhir, 27, are so interesting because in their short careers they have already challenged perception multiple times. Ryder, to several cricket fans, was a heavyset basher, who could empty the odd bar when he wasn’t patronising it; good for a few ODIs against the Poms, but then, isn’t everyone?

The speed of Afghanistan's climb through the ranks of world cricket has been improbable. In the past 11 months they have played in, and won, three lower-ranking qualifying tournaments to reach this stage, winning 15 games and losing only twice. South Africa's Isak Steyl Stadium, a few miles down the road from the scene of the Sharpeville massacre, is the latest stop on a journey that has taken the team from the Channel Islands to Argentina via Tanzania. For any country to have achieved so much so quickly is remarkable but for a team to have done so in the midst of the instability, confusion and poverty of war is astonishing.