Hundreds of inmates of the Alipore Central Jail in Kolkata went on hunger strike when they were refused access to cable television and thereby to the delights of the IPL. Whereupon Shah Rukh Khan, that tireless defender of human rights, appealed to the jail authorities to allow the prisoners to watch Kolkata Knight Riders matches.

Lalit Modi multi-tasks adroitly on his blog, defending the frankly indefensible strategy break and thumping his chest at the same time: "...This is another strategic innovation in the long line of innovations that the league has pioneered from the start. The DLF IPL has always attempted to improve the quality of cricket played in the league with some unique additions like the MCC Spirit of Cricket Charter, the Purple Cap for the Best Bowler and Orange Cap for the Best Batsmen. The 'strategy break' is a similar vein is thus another innovative deviation from tradition..."

Sunil Gavaskar reflects approvingly on how efficiently the IPL was moved to South Africa: "Thats the beauty of IPL commisioner Lalit Modi"

Jonty Rhodes, Mumbai Indians' fielding coach, might just be a fan of conscription: "If you are involved with cricket, you have to be connected with the IPL."

India's Congress party is reported to be distributing pocket-sized IPL schedules in parts of Gujarat, featuring photographs of the local candidates and the likes of Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi in addition to the times of the games. "Generally, people don't read the details in leaflets, but they will love to keep the IPL schedule and will go through the details of the candidates whenever they get time," the Vadodara city president of the party said, overjoyed at the cunning scheme.

Etienne de Villiers, in charge of promoting the IPL's brand in South Africa, has clearly caught the this-may-sound-ridiculous-but-people-will-still-believe-it bug that afflicts Modi and Co. "We were trying to understand what the IPL stood for and we came to the conclusion it represented 'Modern India'. It shows the face of a country that has grown exponentially in the last few years to become a global economic superpower, which also has this tremendous history behind it. The IPL is also a global brand that can prosper anywhere, as it is showing by the way it has moved to South Africa and set itself up so quickly."

Lalit Modi, at the opening ceremony: "As I stand here before this excited, committed and [following phrase delivered in a shriek] sold out crowd in one of cricket's most spectacular arenas for our opening day of Season 2009 of the DLF Indian Premier League , I feel joy, humility, pride and gratitude." Joy, no doubt yes, but humility? Surely you jest, Mr Commissioner?

Ravi Shastri, aka the man who screams louder than a hyena caught in a barbed wire fence for our pleasure every night, waxes eloquent in the Hindustan Times: "The IPL, I daresay, is the biggest thing to have happened to cricket in recent times. You could talk about innovations, coloured clothing, telecasting, one-day cricket and so on but for the sheer scale, commerce and numbers, this is Mount Atlas. Future generations will talk about it as the moment when cricket saw the light."

Amitabh Bachchan, on his blog, recounted how Priety (sic) Zinta rang, confessed her IPL team was "hugely depressed" and asked if the B could do a TV byte to cheer them up, which he agreed to. The IPL was "a sheer delight", he pronounced, before mystifyingly adding, "The coming days of competition shall be bringing in great cheer and joy to the otherwise depressed nation: financially though!"

GQ magazine, India: Columnist Prashant Agarwal has seen the future and is suitably impressed. "Mark my words: in 2020, the most expensive commercial spot in the world will be a 30-second ad screened during IPL footage."