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'Beer, beer, beer, bed'

From Wicked to the philosophical in the latest Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden
25-Sep-2014
Dimuth Karunaratne is going to bed and you can't stop him  •  Getty Images

Dimuth Karunaratne is going to bed and you can't stop him  •  Getty Images

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Training, eating, sleeping, dreaming and complaining about air travel - that's the life of a cricketer, and thanks to the growing popularity of Twitter we now get to share every minute of it with them.
But if Twitter makes it easier for the public to make fun of cricketers, here's a rare moment where a cricketer appears to be making fun of the public. Post-modern social media sports satire moment of the week isn't exactly hotly contested, so Trent Boult walks away with the inaugural/final award.
But never mind the Champions League, county cricket's Royal London One-Day Cup is the big money competition.
Tourists in the UK can rest assured that a two-pence piece is in fact "a proper coin" and remains legal tender - even in Scotland.
After Durham won the final, Graham Onions drew up his schedule.
But how do you know when you're ready for the last of those?
That's not very convincing. It'll be a while before Dimuth's dreaming. He should try and find out Shahid Afridi's late-evening wind-down routine.
And there's also disappointment for Steven Finn, who's got dreams of his own.
Surely he'd do better with the ability to turn pitches green anyway.
Jimmy Neesham's another one who's dreaming.
Meanwhile, our ongoing efforts to discover the real Kemar Roach were dealt a bitter blow this week with the following revelation.
But while we sit around waiting for Kemar to become who he is, we did learn one thing about who he currently was. Specifically, we learnt how he wishes someone a happy birthday. No half-measures here.
Now if someone could put that to music, it might catch on.
What's your philosophy, Dimuth Karunaratne?
Which is precisely why we're all so upset.
But if we are all shaped by our experiences, as Dimuth believes, then he as a cricketer must be shaped by Portuguese chicken and airports.
Is Nando's in or out this week?
Nando's is in.
And somewhere in the world, there is always a cricketer complaining about a delayed flight.
How about walking straight onto a Ryanair flight without any delays? That sounds pretty annoying, reading between the lines of what Alex Hales says.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket